I grew a spine and cancelled my date! Small update pg 2/post 24

[LifeOnPluto]

Completely agree that you did the right thing, and that your mother is wrong.

Sounds like this guy was only after one thing...

[Iris]

Adding my voice to the chorus that says:

Your mother is totally wrong. You *gave* him a chance. He hasn't bothered to respect reasonable boundaries before you've even been on a date. You did exactly the right thing. Bullet dodged.

[jedikaiti]

Wow. That is some grade-A prime crazy, there. Your mom is wrong, you dodged a bullet.

[CreteGirl]

Sorry that your Mom believes that someone else's feelings are more important than your own.

This bugs me, because my Mom was somewhat the same way.  It's hard to learn to stand up for yourself when that is the lesson you have been taught since birth.

[HorseFreak]

Sorry that your Mom believes that someone else's feelings are more important than your own.

This bugs me, because my Mom was somewhat the same way.  It's hard to learn to stand up for yourself when that is the lesson you have been taught since birth.

I think she's just desperate for me to get out and socialize and date. I'm really not a social butterfly by any means and I need to recharge after I talk to new people all day every day at work. It's exhausting being this introverted with my kind of job. She actually said she was proud of me for accepting the date! My parents are starting to see that I don't care about getting married and kids are out of the question and they're panicking.

I haven't had any further contact from the creeper so I'm very happy about that!

[The Wild One, Forever]

Green Goddess on a Cracker, I wanted a shower jusst reading about his behavior.  *shudder*  If you here a whirring by your ear, that's the sound of the bullet you just dodged.

Permission to borrow the bolded?

[Carotte]

Sorry that your Mom believes that someone else's feelings are more important than your own.

This bugs me, because my Mom was somewhat the same way.  It's hard to learn to stand up for yourself when that is the lesson you have been taught since birth.

I think she's just desperate for me to get out and socialize and date. I'm really not a social butterfly by any means and I need to recharge after I talk to new people all day every day at work. It's exhausting being this introverted with my kind of job. She actually said she was proud of me for accepting the date! My parents are starting to see that I don't care about getting married and kids are out of the question and they're panicking.

I haven't had any further contact from the creeper so I'm very happy about that!

Well the 'forcing' you to go on dates where you don't feel comfortable is not the way to go!
I'm still somewhat shy but used to have social anxiety, but you can only work on that bit by bit and only if you feel safe and ok. So go you for standing up, he sounds like a creep or at least someone gravely socially inept.

[DaDancingPsych]

I have a mother just like yours. She always insisted that I give all the guys a chance. I suppose her advice was meant for the shy guys who may take a while longer to warm up and get to know. However, I accepted many unwanted dates from guys who were just creepy thanks to her insistence. The best thing that I ever did was revise her statement. I am willing to give any guy a chance, even if there isn't that spark at first. But any guy who leads into creepy territory or sets my alarms off, will NOT get that same opportunity. I think you did the right thing.

[Lovie]

I was always taught that when I say no, my partner has to respect that. 100%. No excuses. So, his attempt to manipulate you into sending a picture after you'd already said no and that you were not feeling well is really off. To me, it says, "If I won't respect this one thing, what else am I going to try to get away with"

I know that's probably taking it too far, but it's one of my triggers.

[HorseFreak]

Small update: Creeper texted me again two days ago asking if I wanted to try lunch again. This time he used proper grammar (no text speak) and I could understand the message at least. I ignored and deleted the message and haven't heard from him again.

On a side note, my dad found out accidentally from my mom that I had a date I cancelled and was apparently very hurt I didn't tell him about it. A date I didn't go on. Have I mentioned I'm around 30 years old and I haven't lived at home since high school? This is why I don't tell them anything about my personal life.

[mbbored]

Small update: Creeper texted me again two days ago asking if I wanted to try lunch again. This time he used proper grammar (no text speak) and I could understand the message at least. I ignored and deleted the message and haven't heard from him again.

On a side note, my dad found out accidentally from my mom that I had a date I cancelled and was apparently very hurt I didn't tell him about it. A date I didn't go on. Have I mentioned I'm around 30 years old and I haven't lived at home since high school? This is why I don't tell them anything about my personal life.

I'm pretty sure the next time I tell my mother about a person I date is to invite her to the wedding. Anytime I mention a guy's name she gets so excited. And if I tell her about a date, she immediately starts to look at weekends to schedule the wedding and what my children will look like. She's been like this since I was invited to homecoming my freshman year.

[Raintree]

Ha, sounds like my mom. My sister and I were always so secretive about our dates because our mother would get so excited. And if it didn't work out for some reason, she'd ask, "what happened to so-and-so?" Which puts you in the position of explaining something you may not want to talk about.

I can't believe Creeper texted the OP again. Or, unfortunately, I can.

[MacadamiaNut]

I can't believe Creeper texted the OP again. Or, unfortunately, I can.

Unfortunately, I can believe it too!  I would have been more surprised if he hadn't tried once more at least.