General Etiquette > Life...in general
Seperate Checks
siamesecat2965:
I'm in NJ; close to NYC and here too, separate checks are frowned upon. I generally only go out with friends, so we will split the check, adjusting up and down, depending on what everyone orders. Where my mom lives, in VA, separate checks are more the norm, so its easier when you go out.
But I don't think its rude to ask for them, if it helps you keep your spending in check, and avoids you having to pay more to cover someone else's pricier orderings.
TootsNYC:
I think the reason people don't like separate checks is that they see it as working against the "togetherness" of the evening.
And maybe they want to avoid the hassle with the wait staff.
But otherwise, I think that the other guests are sort of out of line to object--don't they realize that they come across as though they want you to subsidize them.
That said, I have NEVER, not one single time, been out to lunch or dinner with friends and had anybody try to get others to pay for their meal. If anything, I have to argue that I had more food and should put in more money.
Bijou:
We always do separate checks. I don't care what everyone else does, but I always tell the server before they write down my or my husband's order that I/we will be on a separate check.
mharbourgirl:
Weird. I only go out to eat with co-workers (DH doesn't like restaurants, food allergies among other reasons), and that restricts us to restaurants in and around the business district our office resides in. These are restaurants that are well-versed in the concepts of both the 1-hour lunch break AND separate cheques. Mostly it's just 2-3 people, but there are special occasions when it's 20 or more of us and none of the restaurants around here have ever had a problem with separate cheques no matter the size of the group.
Well, I say business district, but it's more correctly a large commercial/light industrial park, so you've got pubs, a few chain restaurants, and only one place that could be called 'fine dining' (and I won't eat there, I have major moral issues with their policies). And this is Nova Scotia. Things tend to be a bit more relaxed here overall. I suspect the social culture has a lot to do with restaurant policies in this area.
lowspark:
It doesn't surprise me that it's regional. Sort of like free refills on iced tea. ;D
It used to be like that here, where separate checks were frowned upon. Slowly but surely, though, restaurants have converted from flat out refusing or making a fuss about doing it, to agreeing pleasantly. Once a few restaurants start being ok with it, I think competition drives the rest to go along. Although I'm sure there are some places around here who still won't.
Once I was out with a friend and we didn't actually need separate checks (one of us was treating) and the waitress brought us both! She brought bill for the total and then two additional checks in case we were splitting. Now that's service!
Just went out for sushi with a group of six girls about a week ago and we asked for separate checks. No problem. They gave us six checks. It's really so much easier on the customer even though I realize it's a pain for the server. I always tip more in those cases.
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