General Etiquette > Life...in general
Seperate Checks
Yvaine:
--- Quote from: Giraffe, Esq on May 02, 2012, 10:55:48 AM ---
--- Quote from: TootsNYC on May 01, 2012, 10:37:49 PM ---That said, I have NEVER, not one single time, been out to lunch or dinner with friends and had anybody try to get others to pay for their meal. If anything, I have to argue that I had more food and should put in more money.
--- End quote ---
Sometimes it's not nefarious or gimmepig -- it's just obliviousness. My parents have friends they often go out with. We were all on a trip once, and FriendCouple kept trying to say, "Ok, let's take out Giraffe's portion and then split the rest of the bill." Well, the problem with that was that (a) they often got appetizers/salads and we didn't and (b) they often always got wine and we usually didn't. (If there was a bottle, it was always red wine. My mother and I do not like red wine. So they would drink between 2/3 and 3/4 of the bottle, with my dad getting 1/4 to 1/3 of it.)
Even splitting the entire bill, including my portion, 50/50 between the two families...still usually resulted in us paying for part of their meal.
Fortunately, they were all visiting Paris as tourists and I was living in France at the time, so I started just grabbing the bill "because I spoke French" and doing the math and just telling each side what they owed.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, there are often people who just don't pay attention to the disparity in orders and think splitting evenly will always be fair. Or will work out over time, not noticing that they are always the ones who order more. In those cases, separate checks can be very handy.
--- End quote ---
Very true. And then sometimes the person suggesting an even split isn't even the one who'll get clobbered by it or the one who'll gain by it. It's some third party who isn't paying much attention. For example, a few years ago i went out to eat with friends "Marie" and "John." I was on a tight budget and got a sandwich. Marie got something moderately priced. John was hungry and feeling flush and ordered the mega steak and seafood extravaganza from Hades. The check came and Marie suggested splitting it evenly. John caught the horror that flashed through my eyes and said something; otherwise I'd have been stuck either saying something and feeling awkward, or else paying way more than I'd budgeted for that meal. I know these people well enough that I'd just have said something, most likely, but I can see how it would be more awkward if you're less close.
TootsNYC:
I don't think it's "regional" in the sense of "a large area of the country."
Maybe fast-paced metropolitan areas are less likely to agree because of the time pressure, or more likely because they're used to it; maybe some chains are more likely to object or agree based on their own internal bookkeeping.
And I've never even had anybody be *oblivious* about splitting the bill. Not once.
Every SINGLE time I've shared a bill with friends (which is essentially every time I've ever gone out to dinner with someone else), we've split the bill fairly, or someone (sometimes everyone) has tried to put in too much.
stargazer:
--- Quote from: Bijou on May 01, 2012, 11:37:17 PM ---We always do separate checks. I don't care what everyone else does, but I always tell the server before they write down my or my husband's order that I/we will be on a separate check.
--- End quote ---
You do this with your husband? I've honestly never heard of doing that before so that is a first for me. I will not always ask for a separate check with a large group - instead I just try to carry enough cash to put in my share if I know I was going out. That way I don't subsidize other people's alcohol/expensive entree etc. There is one group that I will ask for a separate check as they always try to split the bill "equally" which drives me insane.
Shoo:
--- Quote from: stargazer on May 02, 2012, 11:22:06 AM ---
--- Quote from: Bijou on May 01, 2012, 11:37:17 PM ---We always do separate checks. I don't care what everyone else does, but I always tell the server before they write down my or my husband's order that I/we will be on a separate check.
--- End quote ---
You do this with your husband? I've honestly never heard of doing that before so that is a first for me. I will not always ask for a separate check with a large group - instead I just try to carry enough cash to put in my share if I know I was going out. That way I don't subsidize other people's alcohol/expensive entree etc. There is one group that I will ask for a separate check as they always try to split the bill "equally" which drives me insane.
--- End quote ---
I think she means she does it when she and her husband are dining out with other people. She makes sure their meals are on a separate ticket from the others. My husband and I do the same thing. We are always on our own ticket.
It's good to be Queen:
I have noticed, in the past few years, that more and more restaurants have computerized ordering systems that let them put in the entire table as one order for the kitchen, and then can split the items oout and print separate checks for the diners. Usually these restaurants are much more willing to do separate checks (and can do them even if you don't tell the server before you order) than restaurants that use the old-fashioned written ticket system.
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