Complaining About Christmas Gift?

[snowdragon]

I have a friend who would happily trade her xmas gifts. Friend's brother thought it *just hysterical to get a 50 year woman, with no kids,  who is studying violin the Sesame Street DVD "Let's Make Music" - yeah she was not amused.
 Your gift was thoughtful and generous. You do not need to feel guilty - your mom does.

[Miss Misha]

Your mom was separated at birth from my husband.  No matter what I get, he complains.  Example:  He likes bird and wildlife watching.  He had mentioned several times in the months leading up to his birthday that he'd really like a pair of nice binoculars.  So, I researched binoculars and bought a nice pair for him.  His response when opening them, "Oh, you shouldn't have bought these."  That's generally his response if I try to buy him anything - and get this - he hates to shop.  I just don't think he is good at the whole gift-giving process:  thinking of a gift, shopping for a gift, finding something within budget, and giving the gift.  I wish I could say it's something about fear of rejection if the recipient doesn't like it or some other rational reason, but he won't give me one.  I have noticed that the I-hate-to-receive-gifts syndrome is rampant in his family.  Now, I just give cash or take him shopping.  Impersonal but easier.

[atirial]

Perhaps her "Love Language" is receiving Gifts and she isn't really feeling very loved if all she is getting some gift certificates.

Possible, but it seems unlikely if she liked a similar gift the year before. Even if it is true, there are politer ways to bring it up than having a go at the gift giver.

I'd suggest stopping giving gifts, but then she is likely to hold that over you.
 

[rachellenore]

Mom needs to grow up. If this happens all the time, and it bothers you that much, I would recommend family counseling.

[Kaora]

...So her carping about them has no more meaning than the chittering of the squirrel outside my window this morning. It's an annoying noise and nothing more. The squirrel is mad at my cat, but my cat couldn't care any less -- be the cat to your mother's squirrel.

Being a catowner, that makes sense.  Sometimes, it's the human's own directions to the cat, but I digress.

I did manage to get my unhappiness out to her sometime during the past week, and she claims scrimping and saving was why she got grumpy.  We did manage to track down a book on an out of town trip with dad (a yearly journey, in which we check out local history; really cool) and we got her a MacBook Pro refurbished, which seems to have smoothed her ruffled feathers.

Thing is, she keeps telling us to check her Amazon wishlist, but none of us know her Amazon account handle. Even if we did, she has a bad habit of opening up every piece of mail or package if she thinks it remotely pertains to her (she once opened up a piece of my mail for a hospital survey, because it might have been a bill , a fact I didn't know until two weeks later when I got a second one and she mentioned the first), so it makes us nervous ordering a gift online for her.  And it's not like we don't try to find it in town, it's a matter of where are we going to find a KitchenAide in Ye Alde Small Townsville?

And dad does try, he was just a little depressed this Christmas, I think.  We did settle on getting her several cookbooks and some sappy kitten and puppy cards for her combined Mother's Day/Birthday this year, which seemed to have gone over well.

I'll try not to let it get to heart. 

[Piratelvr1121]

My mom always complained about my dad's gifts to her, but in her case I think it was justified. He'd only half listen to what she said.   She'd say "I want a camera that's easy to use, small and will fit into my pocket."  Dad heard "I want a camera" and bought her a really fancy SLR photographer grade camera that didn't fit any of her criteria. 

[Twik]

Thing is, she keeps telling us to check her Amazon wishlist, but none of us know her Amazon account handle.

This may be a wild and crazy suggestion, but ... ask her?

[CuriousParty]

You can look up Amazon wishlists by email address, too.

[magicdomino]

A couple months late, but you should be able to look up Amazon wish lists by the person's name.  I just found my friend, using only her last name.