General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work
Changing How You Interact With Reality Challenged Patrons Post Script #29
Ciarrai:
--- Quote from: Yarnspinner on May 05, 2012, 01:40:49 AM ---
If anyone has successful tips, my colleagues and I promise to try them out on Ninja...and Mr. Titanic and Project Runway Guy and The Queen of Djibouti (although we haven't seen her in a while) and our various conspiracy theorists. My immediate supervisor just looks away when she appears and doesn't even respond when she talks to him...which strikes me as somewhat rude as well, but, hey, HE doesn't get his soul sucked dry by her emotional vampirism.
--- End quote ---
I simply must hear about these people.
WolfWay:
--- Quote from: Ciarrai on May 08, 2012, 10:23:03 AM ---
--- Quote from: Yarnspinner on May 05, 2012, 01:40:49 AM ---
If anyone has successful tips, my colleagues and I promise to try them out on Ninja...and Mr. Titanic and Project Runway Guy and The Queen of Djibouti (although we haven't seen her in a while) and our various conspiracy theorists. My immediate supervisor just looks away when she appears and doesn't even respond when she talks to him...which strikes me as somewhat rude as well, but, hey, HE doesn't get his soul sucked dry by her emotional vampirism.
--- End quote ---
I simply must hear about these people.
--- End quote ---
Oh, yes please! ;D
O'Dell:
--- Quote from: Oxymoroness on May 06, 2012, 09:22:39 AM ---From my own adventures in crazy land what works best for me is very firm boundaries and firmer enforcement of them. Making up excuses only challenges Ninja and her ilk to find ways to run around them.
So be direct. And be very clear. So give her two minutes and then at the end of it say, "Ninja I have to stop talking to you now and I have to get back to work. For the rest of the day I can only help you with finding books."
Then when she tries to engage you again just respond with, "do you need help finding a book?" if it's yes, direct her. If its no, walk away or turn your back to her and do your work. She'll escalate at first, but eventually she'll get the message and back off.
Good luck!
--- End quote ---
This. I've found being direct and firm to be the best way to handle these types of people. It feels weird at first, but remember that their reality is different. They don't interpret your actions the same way a person in firm touch with reality would. (If they did, you wooldn't be having this problem.)
Yarnspinner:
Thanks ev eryone for all the great ideas!
Sorry, I haven't had time to respond but I want to let you know we are all trying the friendly-but-firm "Okay, honey your two minutes is up and we can help you find stuff but that's it" method combined with the "uh-huh and keep working, gee, I am sorry, but this mean old job forces me to, you know, do my job" routine.
She seems to be taking it well, though it hasn't stopped her from seeking us out when we are off desk, which means (in her mind) we are free to chat/listen. Yesterday I had to disentangle myself from one of her inevitable hugs (if ever one is on the same side of the desk as Ninja, one gets hugged). And I said something like "Thank you, dear, but I have to be professional." She went away looking sad, but the next day she was back in full on Ninja force.
I think she may be back on her meds as the zombies haven't come up all week. Well, not yet, anyway.
I don't want to turn this into a "Lily's Column on Crazy Patrons" but I will try to give a brief description of the other three patrons I mentioned. I could probably use help dealing with Mr. Titanic and Project Runway Guy. (The last is kind of a misnomer....he is insistent that he is a designer of men's clothing and he can't get into any jobs for designers. Thing is, I have yet to see him actually design ANYTHING...he just takes GQ to the scanner and makes copies for hours on end, then emails it all to himself so he doesn't have to pay for prints.)
The Queen of Djibouti was really a lovely, sweet lady when on her medication. When she went off them, though, she wrote lengthy letters to the Various Government Offices in Djibouti, reminding them of her status there and insisting they have the ambassador in the USA get her OUT of America and back to her rightful place in Djibouti. When she was on her meds, she knew who she really was and was absolutely adorable and fun to talk to. (Although there was that day when she marched into the storefront library where I was children's library for years, pointed at me--the only white girl in the place--and screamed "My family owns this dingdangity library and their will states that NO dingdangity WHITE PEOPLE are allowed in here." One patron grabbed a cell and called 911, but by the time the police arrived, Djibouti was already off down the road. Seems she had been making the rounds that day and several people had called and the police were having trouble tracking her down. A week later she trotted in and, as if the previous week never happened, started talking to me about some book that was popular, asked after my family and so forth. Seriously, when she was on her meds, she was someone you wanted for a friend.
More on the other "cast members" so to speak, when I return from work!
Thanks again.
The Wild One, Forever:
I'm sorry you have to deal with this level of The Crazy so regularly, but I get all excited when I see you've posted patron tales!
Sounds like you have handled it well so far.
And...Djibouti? I am going to be saying that all day now. ;D
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