General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work
Changing How You Interact With Reality Challenged Patrons Post Script #29
Yarnspinner:
This is mostly for the people who asked about the other profiles.
First, I want to follow up my last comments to say that Ninja may be getting the idea. She's still all "Hiya!!!!" when she sees us, but she's beginning to realize we aren't going to talk all day. She seems to be off the zombie kick (she told me she got her social services check so I am guessing that she might be back on her medications) but is now on a new kick about one of her favorite games. Indeed, she just bought a new backpack and had it emblazoned with the name of the anti hero of said game.
Second, the other patrons who come here and....try to make us as crazy as they seem to be.
I am not kidding when I say that these folks often come in one after another and can take up two hours of your time. (I told my immediate supervisor that it was nigh impossible to get the book order done while working the information desk and he said "And that is why you see me reading about Doctor Who on Wikipedia. I suggest you do the same.")
So let's pretend that we're at the reference desk and here comes...
-Chatty Camaflouge guy. He talks. And talks. And talks. It's all mostly stream of conciousness as he rattles from one idea to the next. He has a very loose grip on reality and has a healthy paranoia. Unfortunately, some of my coworkers insist on engaging him in conversation and then calling him on stuff he says that contradicts something he said a week before. He thehn builds up a conspiracy against him and has, in the past, called police on people who called him a liar. He took it into his head one day that a tiny,elderly man, was bad mouthing him and called the police on his cell. When the police got there, the elderly man was leaving and Chatty pointed him out and screamed "Get that little b*****d!!!!"
The police had to sort it all out, especially when they realized the little man had NO clue who Chatty was nor did he speak English.
-So, you get Chatty to finish his latest rant and heave a sigh of relief and he is followed by Ninja, who he hates, so he will wait until she is gone just so he can come back and say disparaging things about her as well.
-And then here comes Project Runway Guy. He is somewhere between 25 and 30, claims to be a men's fashion designer (all I have ever seen him do is scan pictures from GQ and email them to himself). He has a very affected voice and likes to tell us what we are doing wrong, how are computers are all trash and how we need to call his family to repaint the whole library because it looks like c**p. He's always got a list of books on design that he wants us to buy and always has a tale of woe about how he cannot find a job in his field. (I was unaware scanning pictures of men in suits was its own career path, but what do I know?) His family (who should get awards for putting up with him) tell me they are trying to force him to get a job, any job, but he doesn't want just "any job". He always has a sorry excuse about why he won't work for his uncle's paint store (I have a degree, I shouldn't have to paint houses for a living) and so on. He will stand at the desk and stare at you in silence and if you call him on it, he'll say "I am thinking." And when he leaves, here comes....
-Wilmer, also known as Titanic Guy. Although he has earned the nickname "Titanic Guy" because of his nearly Aspergerian Obsession with the Boat, Wilmer is on our list of people who make us stabby for many other reasons. Wilmer is (to our untutored minds) probably mildly mentally handicapped, possibly autistic and one hundred percent unsocialized. He's about six feet tall, cruelly homely and probably is 200 puonds overweight. His voice comes out of his feet and through a block of suet before it reaches your ears. He will ask/say the most outrageous things and, if you express outrage or disapproval he will say things like "Sorry" or "Well, I'm telling the truth. He refers to my g@y coworker as "The guy who sounds like a little girl". When I was unable to find the book he wanted (because it was already checked out to HIM) he snarked at me about not being able to do my job right. When I pointed out that he HAD the book already he said "It doesn't matter. I am the customer and customers are always right. You should try to find me another copy." If his favorite staff member is nowhere to be found he'll say "When I find him, I will beat him to a pulp and that will teach him to hide on me." This staff member was out for three days with flu and Wilmer debated whether a) he was faking the illness to go play hookey and b) how the disease was effecting him (I will spare you the details) and I had to say "Wilmer, that is ENOUGH!!!!" Unlike other crazy patrons, Wilmer won't go away when "real" patrons come to the desk. He will talk over them, make comments about their questions and hang over them to continue his conversation with the staff--often at the top of his lungs. One coworker told me of a night when another patron fell into an alcohol induced coma and an ambulance had to be called. Wilmer stood in between coworker and the victim he was trying to help, just so Wilmer could keep on talking about the Titanic and how the movie would have been improved with zombies.
-Film Spoiler Guy just can't help himself. He watches DVDs all day long, starting at our own computers, then returning and taking more DVDs to watch that evening at his home. He gives away all the twists and surprises even when you tell him NOT to. "Don't tell me the ending!" someone will scream, slapping their hands over their ears. And he will say "I won't tell you the end. But you gotta know, it's very cool that Bruce Willis has been dead the whole time and you don't realize it."
-Poetry Girl is probably in her lateforties or fifties, and mostly comes in to praise Jesus and sleep. She has a home, but doesn't stay there. She writes a lot of poetry best suited to the sort of person who likes Guideposts. I likeGuideposts myself, but not so much her poetry.
-Misogynist Man will blame me for anything that happens even if I was out sick the day it happened. (Also, I apparently look exactly like my younger male colleague who is a foot taller and weighs considerably less than I do. And whose hair is usually some color not found in nature.)
That's the main group. There is also the man who sends emails to StoneCold complaining that we aren't doing our job, are letting people watch p)rn and so on....we stopped him from watching the same junk on his laptop and he promptly started a campaign to get us.
It's fun. Enjoy the profiles.
DoubleTrouble:
Yarnspinner my dear, may I humbly request that once you have retired & gotten some nice, relaxing time to yourself, that you write a book about your library years? I was seriously in stitches reading that ;D
BeagleMommy:
Oh Yarnspinner I think you need a vacation! This has to be trying.
Twik:
Does Stonecold forbid banning patrons? Because the one threatening to beat up your coworker would worry me very much.
SPuck:
I don't think you need an etiquette change. You need a policy change where you can call someone, police or security or something, that can come and get rid of these people when they go overboard. I know its a public library (I'm guessing in a big city because of the verity) but if a shopping mall or store won't put up with situations like this, neither should your place of business. Even if it is government/publicly run.
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