Also on this trip she ordered an appetizer of 5 shrimp as her meal for dinner. (I'm OK with this if someone is not feeling particularly famished) But then she insisted on offering these 5 shrimp up for sharing with the rest of the table and was kind of put off when people declined. (She is quite "virtuous and martyr-like" you know)
And let me guess: because she offered it to everyone she expected everyone else to pay for it...
One possible response would be for everyone to just dig in and take it ALL.
Sometimes at restaurants after everyone is done she will collect everyone's leftovers in to-go boxes and take them home because everyone else is "wasting their food". As I said, she has several food-related issues.
That wouldn't go over with me. I can't eat a whole meal at a restaurant and I deliberately leave enough to make another meal for me
to take home.
I would make sure that my name was on the bag.
The reason that what she's doing is so annoying is because people in general are quite generous. Who among us would not pay for a friend's lunch just as a favor, or chips, or a drink. Who among us has not uttered the words "My treat!"
Not appreciating that generosity and saying "thank-you" or reciprocating is one thing. But, taking advantage of it, taking control of it (!) turns it into something ugly.
It's not petty at all to not want to be taken advantage of. It's not about the $.79, its not about the money at all! It's about respect--respect for the relationship
and for the easy give and take of friends who appreciate each other, look out for each other. Respecting boundaries.
She doesn't respect the people around her.