General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work
Update 55,94,96,119-122 - No, I don't want to e-mail chat with you
s:
So my counterpart Danielle works in our other office which is in another state. She always wants to chat by e-mail or phone. I get in later than her because we're in different time zones but she knows what time I get in. She always seems to expect me to send her a "good morning" e-mail every.single.morning. If I don't she'll send me an e-mail asking why I didn't bother to say good morning. I personally don't think I'm being rude by not doing so because we're not in the same office and don't actually see each other. Also, doesn't matter if it's someone in the same office as me that I see or someone in the other office that I don't see, I do not like being bothered first thing in the morning when I get in. I'm not a morning person and it takes me a little while to get going. This does not mean I won't return a good morning to someone in my own office or anything like that, but I prefer to be left alone for at least the first hour of my shift.
I have since refused to send good morning e-mails now unless I actually feel like it. I never said anything, just started doing it. She seems to have adjusted. She used to send e-mails, just typing her message in the subject line, such as "You did not say good morning" "Are you alive?" etc. I found those offputting and quite rude and it made me want to respond to her even less. Also, she would call me about miniscule petty stuff that she could just e-mail me about. Getting multiple calls is distracting plus she is super chatty and would keep me on the phone. I just no longer answer my phone when she calls and let her assume that I'm not at my desk or already on the phone. I would think the same would go for e-mail. I don't think e-mail requires an immediate response, especially if it's not important or work-related.
When I first stopped answering my phone she would send an e-mail immediately demanding to know where I was. She would also e-mail and call my co-workers about where I was! Now none of this was due to anything important ever. We can both do our jobs without having to interact. She has cooled it on the phone, though every once in awhile she will try to call.
Anyways, so is she being rude? Am I rude not to want to answer her calls or e-mails? How else should I handle this?
kitchcat:
You are not being rude. This woman comes across as someone who is probably lonely, lacks social skills, and sees friendships where none exist. Just because she is your "counterpart" at another office does not mean you need to be her friend.
I would try ignoring the non-work related emails and if she calls to chat, simply say "I'm sorry, but I don't have time to chat. I have a lot of work to do. Bye." And hang up.
If she persists, I'd email her saying that all her advances are unprofessional, making you uncomfortable, and you would like it to stop. If it continues, take it to HR.
Steve:
Wow! How did this even start?
I would just continue what you are doing, but I would start adding "busy" to the conversation. She wants to chat? "Sorry, I am really busy today, I gotta go". She e-mails random stuff that do not require action: ignore.
blue2000:
Yes, this is rude, and a massive waste of time.
If she was sitting right beside you, it would be polite to greet her. You still wouldn't have to chat - it is work, not a social event. But since she isn't in the same office and doesn't need to know where you are, you are fine to ignore her.
s:
--- Quote from: Steve on May 11, 2012, 01:31:35 PM ---Wow! How did this even start?
I would just continue what you are doing, but I would start adding "busy" to the conversation. She wants to chat? "Sorry, I am really busy today, I gotta go". She e-mails random stuff that do not require action: ignore.
--- End quote ---
She has been like this since I have started working here, 3.years.ago. (3 very looong years ago!)She has been here 2 years longer than me. But she does this with EVERYONE that starts and does what we do. I have mentioned her before in a previous post on this board. Anyways, a new person would start in my office and she'd send them a welcome e-mail and introduce herself and then want to become BFFs or something right away! And the new people would ask me why she is always bugging them! And then she would e-mail ME demanding to know why they aren't being super friendly or chatty with her!
Edited to Add: Also, I first met her when I started. There was no one that did what we did in my office at that time until I came along. So someone quickly trained me and the other new hires as best they could and directed us to e-mail Danielle if we had any questions.
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