Not really etiquette-related but I am wondering if my thinking is off on this. This situation keeps rearing it's head. Turning to ehell as you all have been so wise in the past for me.
Sometime back, an old friend came to me upset at her sister for posting trauma stories from their childhood on her Facebook page. Without going into details (sorry for the vagueness but it can't be helped this time) essentially her sister posted multiple (sometimes gory) details of childhood abuse (today CPS would have removed the children if they were aware of the abuse) for all her FB "friends" to read. My friend's sister refuses to have rel@tionship with her mom and has a very distant but slightly better rel@tionship with her father. (They talk about once a year compared to never.)
This is not the first time the sister has done this; this is going on for several years of posting childhood trauma stories in her FB status.
My friend is conflicted about this. It's her mom too and she did not receive the same level of abuse her sister did. She knows her mom has some level mental illness (no professional diagnosis, just based on experience) but has basically accepted her mom where she is with all her junk & learned to live with it by enforcing healthy boundaries. My friend is very positive and stays rooted in today, not dwelling on past events, even though she also suffered abuse, just not the level her sister did. My friend has already done professional counseling too concerning abuse from her childhood.
She didn't really ask me for advice, rather she asked my opinion on the situation.
I told her essentially this:
-Facebook is not your therapist - while she can't control her sisters actions, it would be better (IMO) for her sister to seek professional counseling than dredge up pain & suffering from 40 years ago in a somewhat public forum;
-It's her (my friend's) mom too and if the feelings of being torn continue, that she has the right to ask her sister to respect the fact it's her mother too and to refrain from bashing their mom and her actions in a somewhat public forum.
Am I off on this? Is it ok for someone to bash their parents on Facebook? Or maybe it's ok under certain circumstances like if there are no siblings? Is this any different than writing an autobiography & spilling your parents mistakes to the whole world? Or is it actually a healthy healing thing to essentially publish this type of info for so many people to read & digest? In this situation, it's apparently "healthy" by one sister but her sibling is more or less saying "Hey, uh, wait a minute there..." - Should the sibling(s) just get over it? or do they have right(s) too & their feelings should be respected? Looking for general thoughts on this subject from wise ehellions ...to either solidify my thoughts or correct them.
I can just imagine all the moms-who-are-reading-this eyes getting huge at the thought of their kids spilling all their mistakes when they get older, whether it be online or book form, and it's a scary thought. I am a step-mom. While not perfect, given the confluence of circumstances at that moment (whatever 'that' moment is), generally speaking, IMO, parents do the best they can right then and there.
If you read this far, a virtual cookie for you.