Need others opinions on a person blasting their family on FB

[TootsNYC]

Personally, I don't think anyone should bash anyone on Facebook - ever. For one thing, once it's out there in the cloud, you can't ever take it back. You may delete the post some day (if you remember to) but it cannot be undone or unsaid. Even if you don't change your mind, you may find, later, that you've moved on.  For another thing, I think it's self - centered, one-sided, and unattractive behavior. I realize that we all have our pages, and they are ours to say what we'd like, but is that sort of negativity the face we want to present?

*steps off soapbox and sweeps from the room*

I also think that bashing people on Facebook is really rude to everyone who gets that wall post on their newsfeed.

The basher is forcing those people to be part of an intimate circle that they didn't necessarily sign up for. The basher is essentially causing a scene, and that's rude to the onlookers.

[Allyson]

Agree with the last post. It's just really awkward and uncomfortable for everyone else. Like someone who meets a new acquaintance and starts sharing *way* too much information. People feel obligated to respond in some way, and often the person posting gets very upset when they don't get as much support/sympathy as they want.

I would suggest the friend's sister start a blog where she can write this stuff down, and maybe post the link to it on an abuse survivor's group--somewhere with people who don't know her personally, and/or have more experience with this kind of thing.

Yes, I know that what the survivor went through is much worse than the awkwardness of reading it, and I'm not saying people who've been abused should be quiet about it. But I just don't think posting it on Facebook in detail is a great idea, for lots of reasons.

[merryns]

I think the OP should stay out of it. She clearly has empathy for the mother and assumes the best of her, framing the abuse as mistakes. She does not get the point of view of an abused child. She risks encouraging her friend to alienate her sister by seeming to side with the abuser and blame the victim for the after effects.

[MellowedOne]

I would suggest the friend's sister start a blog where she can write this stuff down, and maybe post the link to it on an abuse survivor's group--somewhere with people who don't know her personally, and/or have more experience with this kind of thing.

I have a friend who grew up in a very dysfunctional family.  He has a FB page, which contains a link to his blog.  His blog is under a fake name.  He regularly writes on his blog as a form of catharsis, personal commentaries on his fam do not appear on his FB page.  It seems to work out nicely enough for him, although personally for me I could never do that.  There is nothing secure on the Internet, once it hits the servers of the sites you post on you can never take it back or control who can access it.