Asking for female only.

[Zilla]

What's wrong with simply saying, "I need to make an appointment for Cat, and can you please make it with one of the female ones please?"


Simple does it.  You don't have to explain anything.  If they ask, "Oh I just prefer female doctors."


After all you did call and found out she was a female doctor, how did you ask?

That would have worked if I were the one making the appointment. DH made the appointment, I was going to change it.

I didn't call and ask. They called me to confirm her appointment and discuss a few things. They mentioned a "she" and I asked which she they were referring to. They said Dr. Frank.

Got it, I would have called back in and simply say I need to change my appointment with a female vet instead.


But I had to chuckle though, you have no issues with telling hundreds of people here that you prefer female vets for your female cats and why.  But you care how it comes across to 2, maybe 3 people in the vet's office. I know here, they don't know you in IRL, but you are very firm in your belief of why you prefer female vets for your female cats.  Just tell them what you tell us if they ask why.  You have carried yourself very well here and I think you will do just as well IRL.

[MrsJWine]

Cats walk around naked all day. They lie on the floor with their paws splayed in every direction, flashing their mammaries for all to see. They lick themselves inappropriately. They do not care about issues of modesty because it's a purely human institution. And every cat I've ever known would be highly insulted to be lumped in with us petty, undignified humans.

[Sheila Take a Bow]

I would just explain that the cat does better with women.  It doesn't matter to me that she'll be out during the surgery -- in my experience when my cats have had surgery, the vets have dealt with them before and after sedation, as well, so it's not like they're only meeting the cat when the cat is already out.

I would actually be surprised if you were the first person who asked for a vet based on gender.

I hope your cat goes through the surgery well!

[Two Ravens]

Cats walk around naked all day. They lie on the floor with their paws splayed in every direction, flashing their mammaries for all to see. They lick themselves inappropriately. They do not care about issues of modesty because it's a purely human institution. And every cat I've ever known would be highly insulted to be lumped in with us petty, undignified humans.

Indeed, my cat licks her butt in full view of myself and my husband. She doesn't seem to care, even though I've explained to her at length how rude this is...

[That Anime Chick]

Uh..okay..after reading four pages of this, I'm still trying to wrap my head around this.

He's a vet. He's not going to do unsavory things towards your kitty unless you have knowledge that says otherwise. I have two cats myself and I personally find no issue with a male vet taking care of either of them.

So he's going to be taking out her mammary glands. It's not as if he's going to hold them up and say "look everyone! I have cat mammary glands!"

Honestly, this really borders on insulting.

Indeed, my cat licks her butt in full view of myself and my husband. She doesn't seem to care, even though I've explained to her at length how rude this is...

Yes, I've done this with mine as well. They just look at me like I'm crazy and carry on.

[SiotehCat]

Are you posting to try and get a rise out of people? Cuz that's how weird that concern is. Has your husband ever rubbed her belly or scratch her rear? Do you consider that inappropriate contact? Stop sexualizing your cat and a routine surgery

I think that where I went wrong was in saying that it was for my cat. I can see that nobody is going to understand how I feel about them and I can see that most people would say its weird.

My question still works in other contexts. Asking for a male/female masseuse, for example. Or even a male/female groomer.

We don't have to keep discussing the fact that it's my cat, because that obviously upsets people.

[jibby]

It sounds as though you're worried about the sexual aspect.  Best to ask your vet's office for a g*y male vet or a straight female vet, if you're going to call them back.

[Giggity]

But the issue IS your cat. If it were for you, or your child, that'd be a different issue and a different discussion.

[nyarlathotep]

Wow, I thought dogpiling was frowned upon here.

Siotehcat, I can kind of see where you're coming from, although I don't necessarily agree with the assumptions you're founding your opinion on, and though it's not rude to think, "I don't want a male surgeon operating on my cat", requesting one in so many words would be crossing the line.

If it were you being operated on, absolutely, but your cat is not an extension of your body.

That having been said, if you perhaps had the opportunity to talk to the surgeon beforehand, would that help put your mind at rest?

[Lovie]

Yeah, I think this has nothing to do with etiquette and is a very disturbing personal issue.

[MrsO]

Do you really think the cat would prefer a female surgeon? Are you concerned that the cat will be bothered my this?

To answer your previous question, I wouldn't care if it was a male or female surgeon operating on my child (or myself, actually). I'd want the most qualified person for the job, regardless of gender.

[Knitterly]

Siotehcat, I'm having a really hard time understanding your perspective. 
As others have mentioned, first your cat is not human.  Female or not, she is a cat.  Second, this is surgery.

I have been in surgery twice and unconscious for one of them.  Both surgeons were male.  I was fully naked and unconscious at the mercy of a male surgeon.  The surgery was necessary.  The surgeon was the best qualified to do the job.  That he was male was entirely beside the point.

I find your attitude baffling considering that this is surgery.  It is utterly mind boggling considering that it isn't even human surgery. 

I think there is no polite way for you to request a female surgeon.  It is nice for you that the doctor ended up being your preferred gender, but I find your attitude to be sexist in the extreme.

Please consider this from another perspective:
A man comes in with his male cat.  The very qualified female surgeon is scheduled to neuter the cat.  The man is upset, not because the surgeon is unqualified, but because she is a woman.  After all a woman will be opening up his cat and handling the cat's "business".  He's very upset by this.  Would you really think he is remotely justified in demanding a male surgeon do the surgery?

[Bibliophile]

Are you posting to try and get a rise out of people? Cuz that's how weird that concern is. Has your husband ever rubbed her belly or scratch her rear? Do you consider that inappropriate contact? Stop sexualizing your cat and a routine surgery

I think that where I went wrong was in saying that it was for my cat. I can see that nobody is going to understand how I feel about them and I can see that most people would say its weird.

My question still works in other contexts. Asking for a male/female masseuse, for example. Or even a male/female groomer.

We don't have to keep discussing the fact that it's my cat, because that obviously upsets people.

You aren't getting it at all.  It's very disturbing that you're worried about your cats virtue at the hands of a male doctor.  Not to mention the whole sexist nature of the request.

[Lovie]

It's not dog piling if the op keeps coming back and debating the issue. Try not to overuse that term.

[Midnight Kitty]

I would actually be surprised if you were the first person who asked for a vet based on gender.

I would be surprised if anyone else ever asked for a vet based on the vet's gender.  Professional qualifications are much more important.  I can understand why some women only want female OB GYNs, but I chose my (male) OB GYN based on referrals, not his gender.  After my car accident, I had an excellent male massage therapist.  Better him than a female who did not do as good a job.

Unless the animal was traumatized by someone and still fears people of that gender, a vet is a vet and the pet does not care.  I stopped going to a male vet because he missed an important diagnosis and was dismissive of my  concerns.  We are staying with a female vet because her qualifications are excellent.  Both our female cats were spayed by a male vet.  I don't think he had an inappropriate interest in their scrabble tiles when he removed them.