Author Topic: Ummm....your welcome?  (Read 18112 times)

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MacadamiaNut

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Re: Ummm....your welcome?
« Reply #105 on: June 05, 2012, 04:31:27 PM »
I'd just be completely honest, I mean, this is your honey, right? I would choose a time when things are quiet and relaxed, like maybe at the end of a good day, and tell him something like -

"Something has been on my mind and I'd like to get your opinion. Have you ever noticed that your parents regularly give you hundreds of dollars worth of gifts, and they give DS hundreds, too, which means SO much to me, but when it comes to my gifts, well.... I get things like bandaids. Occasionally I get nothing at all. It's causing me to wonder if they're trying to send me some kind of message. I don't care about the 'stuff', but I do care about having a good relationship with them. What do you think?"

Then sit back and see what he has to say. Best wishes!!

I agree with this approach.  I think if you care about DH and your marriage then you should be as open and honest as possible.  Sometimes just talking something out helps.  I personally wouldn't try any tactics like visiting your parents or being otherwise preoccupied when they visit.  That just seems passive aggressive to me.  My advice is: Don't fight fire with fire. :)
Paperweights, for instance - has anyone ever established what, when, and why
paper has to be weighed down? ::) ~Don Aslett

sparksals

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Re: Ummm....your welcome?
« Reply #106 on: June 06, 2012, 12:57:10 AM »
I'd just be completely honest, I mean, this is your honey, right? I would choose a time when things are quiet and relaxed, like maybe at the end of a good day, and tell him something like -

"Something has been on my mind and I'd like to get your opinion. Have you ever noticed that your parents regularly give you hundreds of dollars worth of gifts, and they give DS hundreds, too, which means SO much to me, but when it comes to my gifts, well.... I get things like bandaids. Occasionally I get nothing at all. It's causing me to wonder if they're trying to send me some kind of message. I don't care about the 'stuff', but I do care about having a good relationship with them. What do you think?"

Then sit back and see what he has to say. Best wishes!!

I agree with this approach.  I think if you care about DH and your marriage then you should be as open and honest as possible.  Sometimes just talking something out helps.  I personally wouldn't try any tactics like visiting your parents or being otherwise preoccupied when they visit.  That just seems passive aggressive to me.  My advice is: Don't fight fire with fire. :)

I have to say the bolded doesn't sit right with me.  The OP wouldn't have posted if she didn't care.   It could be said that her DH's actions are more uncaring to the OP.  It appears to me the OP cares a great deal and is at a loss on how to deal with a family issue that hurts her immensely.  That does not translate to the OP not caring about her DH and marriage.

MacadamiaNut

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Re: Ummm....your welcome?
« Reply #107 on: June 06, 2012, 09:24:06 AM »
I'd just be completely honest, I mean, this is your honey, right? I would choose a time when things are quiet and relaxed, like maybe at the end of a good day, and tell him something like -

"Something has been on my mind and I'd like to get your opinion. Have you ever noticed that your parents regularly give you hundreds of dollars worth of gifts, and they give DS hundreds, too, which means SO much to me, but when it comes to my gifts, well.... I get things like bandaids. Occasionally I get nothing at all. It's causing me to wonder if they're trying to send me some kind of message. I don't care about the 'stuff', but I do care about having a good relationship with them. What do you think?"

Then sit back and see what he has to say. Best wishes!!

I agree with this approach.  I think if you care about DH and your marriage then you should be as open and honest as possible.  Sometimes just talking something out helps.  I personally wouldn't try any tactics like visiting your parents or being otherwise preoccupied when they visit.  That just seems passive aggressive to me.  My advice is: Don't fight fire with fire. :)

I have to say the bolded doesn't sit right with me.  The OP wouldn't have posted if she didn't care.   It could be said that her DH's actions are more uncaring to the OP.  It appears to me the OP cares a great deal and is at a loss on how to deal with a family issue that hurts her immensely.  That does not translate to the OP not caring about her DH and marriage.

I'm afraid you're reading more into it than was intended.  I was in no way saying or even implying that the OP doesn't care.  It's just a general if/then statement.
Paperweights, for instance - has anyone ever established what, when, and why
paper has to be weighed down? ::) ~Don Aslett