Author Topic: Age Etiquette  (Read 20337 times)

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Age Etiquette
« Reply #45 on: September 09, 2012, 09:50:14 PM »
And don't say the phrase "Don't you think you're a little OLD to be doing that?"
The response in my head to this phrase is not printable on E-hell.
I agree. Who gets to decide that? That annoys me as well.
And evil JonGirl is old enough to know better and young enough not to care!  >:D

I've heard this before as well about my love of all things related to Captain Jack Sparrow.  "Aren't you too old for that?" Many times I've wanted to say many not so nice things but I held the EvilPirate back. I think next time I'll just say "Not as long as Johnny Depp's older than I am!"  :-* One person that used to say that to me was my mother's bff.   This was after I told her that DH had just bought me a jolly roger. :) 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Jules1980

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Re: Age Etiquette
« Reply #46 on: September 09, 2012, 10:43:29 PM »
And don't say the phrase "Don't you think you're a little OLD to be doing that?"
The response in my head to this phrase is not printable on E-hell.
I agree. Who gets to decide that? That annoys me as well.
And evil JonGirl is old enough to know better and young enough not to care!  >:D

I've heard this before as well about my love of all things related to Captain Jack Sparrow.  "Aren't you too old for that?" Many times I've wanted to say many not so nice things but I held the EvilPirate back. I think next time I'll just say "Not as long as Johnny Depp's older than I am!"  :-* One person that used to say that to me was my mother's bff.   This was after I told her that DH had just bought me a jolly roger. :)

I plan on taking the Pheneas and Ferb route and say, "Why, yes.  Yes, I am." as I continue on with said activity.

White Lotus

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Re: Age Etiquette
« Reply #47 on: October 02, 2012, 12:39:48 PM »
Please do not assume I am stuck in the music and arts of my teens and twenties, or, worse, those of my parents. I like new things.  Lots of new things.
For example: I am too young to have swooned over Frank Sinatra, so tickets to a tribute show at a casino are not my idea of a great birthday present. I do enjoy recorded concerts on PBS when I am in the mood, but I have no desire to relive my parents', or even my, teenage years as "the best, and apparently only years that count of my life."

TylerBelle

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Re: Age Etiquette
« Reply #48 on: January 17, 2013, 02:11:16 PM »
If you are in a grouped together with people where most are of similar age, and one or two may be a generation (or two) older, unless by request, don't separate them by referring to them with a parental name (ie., Mom, Dad, Granddad, Grandma). And it can be vice versa, if there are few younger folks in the group (with names like youngster, etc.). Overall I'd imagine most in general would want to be just one of the group, regardless of any age difference. :)

Being a parent is about the best thing in the world, but in the terms I'm referring to can have the connotation of the similar age people clique together with the older person almost like a chaperone.
Always be on the lookout for wonder. --E.B. White

Onyx_TKD

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Re: Age Etiquette
« Reply #49 on: January 17, 2013, 03:57:30 PM »
If you are in a grouped together with people where most are of similar age, and one or two may be a generation (or two) older, unless by request, don't separate them by referring to them with a parental name (ie., Mom, Dad, Granddad, Grandma). And it can be vice versa, if there are few younger folks in the group (with names like youngster, etc.). Overall I'd imagine most in general would want to be just one of the group, regardless of any age difference. :)

Being a parent is about the best thing in the world, but in the terms I'm referring to can have the connotation of the similar age people clique together with the older person almost like a chaperone.

I'm not really sure what you're trying to describe here. Are you talking about calling an unrelated man "Dad" just because he's a generation older than most of the group, or are you saying that someone shouldn't call their parents "Mom" and "Dad" when most of the group is of the son/daughter's generation? In the former case, I don't think it has anything to do with the age composition of the group--I would say that calling someone other than your own parents or grandparents by (grand)parental names is inappropriate unless you know they want you to, period. In the latter case, I think it's very much an internal family matter--it's unreasonable to expect family to forgo familial titles unless it makes them more comfortable.

snowdragon

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Re: Age Etiquette
« Reply #50 on: January 17, 2013, 04:34:15 PM »
If you are in a grouped together with people where most are of similar age, and one or two may be a generation (or two) older, unless by request, don't separate them by referring to them with a parental name (ie., Mom, Dad, Granddad, Grandma). And it can be vice versa, if there are few younger folks in the group (with names like youngster, etc.). Overall I'd imagine most in general would want to be just one of the group, regardless of any age difference. :)

Being a parent is about the best thing in the world, but in the terms I'm referring to can have the connotation of the similar age people clique together with the older person almost like a chaperone.

I'm not really sure what you're trying to describe here. Are you talking about calling an unrelated man "Dad" just because he's a generation older than most of the group, or are you saying that someone shouldn't call their parents "Mom" and "Dad" when most of the group is of the son/daughter's generation? In the former case, I don't think it has anything to do with the age composition of the group--I would say that calling someone other than your own parents or grandparents by (grand)parental names is inappropriate unless you know they want you to, period. In the latter case, I think it's very much an internal family matter--it's unreasonable to expect family to forgo familial titles unless it makes them more comfortable.

Actually there are people who would have a real problem with not being called proper generational title....be that parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, no matter what the circumstances. My aunt does not stop being my aunt just because of the group we are in...and I don't stop being my nephew's aunt because his friends are around.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Age Etiquette
« Reply #51 on: January 17, 2013, 04:35:47 PM »
If you are in a grouped together with people where most are of similar age, and one or two may be a generation (or two) older, unless by request, don't separate them by referring to them with a parental name (ie., Mom, Dad, Granddad, Grandma). And it can be vice versa, if there are few younger folks in the group (with names like youngster, etc.). Overall I'd imagine most in general would want to be just one of the group, regardless of any age difference. :)

Being a parent is about the best thing in the world, but in the terms I'm referring to can have the connotation of the similar age people clique together with the older person almost like a chaperone.

I'm not really sure what you're trying to describe here. Are you talking about calling an unrelated man "Dad" just because he's a generation older than most of the group, or are you saying that someone shouldn't call their parents "Mom" and "Dad" when most of the group is of the son/daughter's generation? In the former case, I don't think it has anything to do with the age composition of the group--I would say that calling someone other than your own parents or grandparents by (grand)parental names is inappropriate unless you know they want you to, period. In the latter case, I think it's very much an internal family matter--it's unreasonable to expect family to forgo familial titles unless it makes them more comfortable.

Actually there are people who would have a real problem with not being called proper generational title....be that parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, no matter what the circumstances. My aunt does not stop being my aunt just because of the group we are in...and I don't stop being my nephew's aunt because his friends are around.

I get what TylerBelle is saying.  If there are say 6 25 year olds in a group of 8 where the other two are 40, don't, being that 40 year old, call the 25 year old a youngster to that person.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

TylerBelle

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Re: Age Etiquette
« Reply #52 on: January 17, 2013, 05:38:55 PM »
I really wasn't speaking of a group of related people. It's more like say a 60 year old woman has a certain interest and she joins a group about that interest, and nearly everyone else in the group is around thirty years younger than herself. She hopes to be seen as just one of the group, fitting in like everyone else. Though some members think of her as and say she's "like the mom of the group," and perhaps even give her the nickname of "Mom," solely due to the age difference. Being a mom is wonderful, but in this instance, it has the dynamic of the younger-aged people are cliquing together, while the older lady is made to feel like more as everyone's chaperone.

My point is if you find yourself put into a group (for school, activities, sports, etc.) of mostly your own age while there may be one or two a generation older or younger, treat everyone the same. Don't presume older people in the group are going want to be bossy, or nurturing, or only there to supervise, etc., and younger ones are needing to be bossed, or disciplined, etc.     
Always be on the lookout for wonder. --E.B. White

MrTango

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Re: Age Etiquette
« Reply #53 on: January 18, 2013, 03:37:59 PM »
I just noticed that four points in the original post were directly addressing the volume of music.

VorFemme

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Re: Age Etiquette
« Reply #54 on: August 22, 2014, 12:14:26 PM »
My dad is about to turn 80 this year.

My parents visited with us for dinner on the way to my sister's house yesterday.

Dad had just had two wisdom teeth pulled.

I had always been told that he didn't have any...apparently they finally tried to come in and got spotted on the X-rays!

Which actually makes sense, as Dad is a bit of a practical joker in some ways (he's not a Peter Pan who has refused to grow up but he does tend to act younger than he is in some ways - at work - he uses that to help him communicate with "all ages").

There may be some teasing about his "late" wisdom teeth for a few months!
« Last Edit: August 22, 2014, 12:16:17 PM by VorFemme »
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

lakey

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Re: Age Etiquette
« Reply #55 on: August 22, 2014, 01:26:04 PM »
Quote
13 - Neither great age nor great youth confer the right to say what you please or behave without regard for the wellbeing of anyone else.

22 - Neither retainers nor dentures need be openly displayed and left on the dinner table for someone else to deal with

23 - The topic of bowel movements does not need to come up at the table, regardless of the great age or great youth of the individual involved

I am almost full time caregiver for my 96 year old father who has advanced Alzeimer's. Understand that these three items MIGHT be the result of dementia. I reached a point where I would be in restaurants with my parents and be mortified by the topics of conversation and behaviors. My father and mother would say things that were inappropriate to people, things they would NEVER have said when they were younger. My mother would use swear words when she never had before.

Because my father's hearing was so bad, he spoke very loudly. So when he would be in a restaurant talking about his butt surgery, a lot of people were able to hear it. One time he made a loud comment about how the couple at another table looked poor. You can tell them that the comment is inappropriate, but they really don't see it.

The priest at my dad's parish is from Nigeria and black. He comes to the house once a month to give Holy Eucharists. One day, out of the blue, when my mom was still alive, she made a joke to him about how he didn't need to go to the beach to get a tan. He took it well, but I just cringed.

Again, #'s 13, 22, and 23 may very likely be due to onset of dementia. If your elderly relative never behaved this way before, and starts to, it may not be because he/she thinks age gives her entitlement, it may be a sign that you should get a doctor to evaluate her.

ladyknight1

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Re: Age Etiquette
« Reply #56 on: August 22, 2014, 01:52:00 PM »
Just because I went to high school in the mid-1980s does not mean I am stuck thinking that was the best time of my life, the only good period in music, etc.

nuit93

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Re: Age Etiquette
« Reply #57 on: August 22, 2014, 02:35:51 PM »
Just because I went to high school in the mid-1980s does not mean I am stuck thinking that was the best time of my life, the only good period in music, etc.

As someone who was in HS in the mid-late 90's, I have to agree.

I liked the music but HS is rarely the best time in any person's life.

TurtleDove

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Re: Age Etiquette
« Reply #58 on: August 22, 2014, 02:37:20 PM »
HS is rarely the best time in any person's life.

HS was the best time of my life at that time, though, just like today is the best time of my life for right now!

VorFemme

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Re: Age Etiquette
« Reply #59 on: August 22, 2014, 05:01:08 PM »
You couldn't get me to go back to high school without paying me.

In fact, I've only been back once...to work as a substitute teacher!  I ran into one of my previous teachers (was journalism - later art, if I recall correctly).  It was nice to see her - but I found that I missed nothing about that school.

There was a fire a few years later (lightning - nothing to do with me, I swear) and my "old" school was rebuilt.  I haven't been back since and have no desire to go back for a reunion.

Unless I can hire a helicopter to land me and pick me up because that's the only way to fit it into my schedule (need to get busy on writing that best seller, I guess)! 

Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?