Hosting without any food? Who does this?

[Thena]

Wow she sounds like a peach.  Please do tell - what was the stunt she pulled at the wedding?  I'm nosy like that 

^^Two days after the wedding, Adrienne called me and demanded to know why she hadn't seen a present from our family among the wedding gifts. She wouldn't accept my answer that we'd given the bride and groom their gift ahead of time. When I stopped taking her phone calls, she started pestering Dad. Even though he'd already given, he went out and bought a second wedding present and gave it to Adrienne so she would stop nagging him.

[TheVapors]

Wow she sounds like a peach.  Please do tell - what was the stunt she pulled at the wedding?  I'm nosy like that 

^^Two days after the wedding, Adrienne called me and demanded to know why she hadn't seen a present from our family among the wedding gifts. She wouldn't accept my answer that we'd given the bride and groom their gift ahead of time. When I stopped taking her phone calls, she started pestering Dad. Even though he'd already given, he went out and bought a second wedding present and gave it to Adrienne so she would stop nagging him.

I must be catching flies, because my mouth is wide open.

There's no doubt left in my mind after that story. She was definitely searching for one of her guests to say "Oh no worries, Adrienne. Let me treat everyone."

[Iris]

Wow she sounds like a peach.  Please do tell - what was the stunt she pulled at the wedding?  I'm nosy like that 

^^Two days after the wedding, Adrienne called me and demanded to know why she hadn't seen a present from our family among the wedding gifts. She wouldn't accept my answer that we'd given the bride and groom their gift ahead of time. When I stopped taking her phone calls, she started pestering Dad. Even though he'd already given, he went out and bought a second wedding present and gave it to Adrienne so she would stop nagging him.

I must be catching flies, because my mouth is wide open.

There's no doubt left in my mind after that story. She was definitely searching for one of her guests to say "Oh no worries, Adrienne. Let me treat everyone."

And my neck joints are faulty, because my head won't stop shaking.

Also, POD to the rest of your post.

[Venus193]

Sounds like we have a new candidate for Gimme Pig of the Year and a new recurring character.

Re the birthday party:  Insanely rude.  I would have just made an excuse to withdraw.

[Winterlight]

Wow.

I think giving her a stocking and a lump of coal would be very, very tempting.

[TootsNYC]

It is very, very sad that there are people who don't realise the amount of work and preparation that goes into actually *hosting* an event.   They go to other people's houses and think "ooh that was fun!  I'll have one too!"  not understanding that they will need to provide the food, make the plans, and ensure the comfort of their guests.  She was abominably rude and I would never accept another invitation again.  I could understand if it were a casual get together where the group decided to get food, but seeing she invited people specifically for lunch to celebrate her birthday and was so disorganised?  Nuh-uh.   Not cool.   What a flake.

I agree with all this. And, I am wondering if her grumbling about not having enough cash and not believing she could use her credit card to order indicated she was waiting for her guests to volunteer to pay for the meal.

That's what I was thinking.  I think she wanted to go to the restaurant where separate checks would be easy.  Then when she was bringing up the lunch specials again was a way of having everyone order separately to make pitching in easy.  Finally with the cash/credit cards thing she got roped into paying.  They She clearly did not plan out ahead of time for this luncheon and should have been far more concerned with the comfort of their her guests.  Subjecting their herguests to this half-baked form of "hosting" was incredibly rude.

I think Brandon was not really to blame--except perhaps that he didn't simply ignore his wife and barrel over her objections. And I can't fault him for that--he was walking the tightrope between treating his wife with respect and trying to provide for the guests.

[Fleur-de-Lis]

Re: Brandon's milestone birthday - Wow.  How did *Brandon* react to those antics? Does he even know that she uninvited people to *his* birthday? 

[Thena]

^^Whatever Brandon knew, he hasn't spoken to us about it. He generally keeps to himself, anyway, and 95% of what we hear from him comes through Adrienne. He may have bought Adrienne's story that it wasn't "safe" for Dad to come over because he was on crutches at the time, but he should remember that we brought Dad to their house while he was still in a wheelchair after surgery.

[Twik]

Is this obsession about money new with Adrienne, or something that's always been there?

[Clair Seulement]

Re: Brandon's milestone birthday - Wow.  How did *Brandon* react to those antics? Does he even know that she uninvited people to *his* birthday?

I wonder about this too, since it appears she winnowed the guest list so that she wouldn't have to cook.

[Thena]

Is this obsession about money new with Adrienne, or something that's always been there?

She's always complaining about something, but I've never seen her behave this way over money. Usually she'll complain that she's too sickly to cook, or that she can't clean up unless her husband drops everything to help her.

I actually lost patience with her two years ago. There was a situation where I was alone for Easter because the rest of my family had gone out of town while I had to stay for work. Somewhere around 6 PM, Adrienne called me to say, "Oops! My daughter was going to invite you to join the family for Easter lunch at her house, but I forgot to tell you. It's too late now because we already ate." When I was alone for Thanksgiving, she called me around 5 PM to day, "Oh, I assumed you had some friend who would invite you for dinner. I can't invite you because Brandon and I have colds." These days, I have my phone programmed to send her calls straight to voice mail.

[lowspark]

Wow, she's really a piece of work - I would also no longer answer her calls.

But I gotta wonder. Instead of Brandon bickering with her regarding payment method and what to order, why couldn't he just pick up the phone and order a bunch of dishes for delivery and have done with it?

[Thena]

^Good question! He could have discretely taking care of the whole thing if he wanted to, but he never got out of his seat unless he was pouring drinks.

[jaxsue]

This thread reminds me of 2 instances of "hostessing fail."

Back in the dark ages, when X-DH and I were newly married, we became friends with another young couple. I admit, part of it was "pity friendship" because the wife had trouble making friends. After dealing with her (and her equally daft DH), it was obvious why.

Her DH and I had birthdays very close together. She invited us over for a birthday dinner, complete with cake/ice cream, and a wonderful gift for me. You see where this is going?  We got there, and there was no food. Then she and her DH started arguing about what pizza place we'd order from. We eventually ordered some pizza, which we paid half of (so much for "hosting"!). There was no cake/ice cream and no b'day gift for me. We'd brought a nice gift for him, which he promptly opened, looked at it briefly, put it down and was asleep and snoring within a few minutes.

To add to the "fail," their roommate, who was in the Navy like the DH, originally said "no" to having some of the pizza when asked as we ordered. Well, he apparently changed his mind and took a couple of pieces; he'd contributed nothing to buying it. So the night was a complete bust, and after that we decided to stop socializing with them altogether.

The second story occurred only a couple of years ago. I was driving from NJ to Long Island to pick up something at an acquaintance's home. He said to come hungry as they'd have a yummy dessert waiting for me. I got there, and had to wait for a long time as he spent an inordinate amount of time showing me stuff. Not only was there no dessert, but then he and his wife got into a huge fight in front of me (and their poor 5-yr-old DD).

[Ceallach]

The second story occurred only a couple of years ago. I was driving from NJ to Long Island to pick up something at an acquaintance's home. He said to come hungry as they'd have a yummy dessert waiting for me. I got there, and had to wait for a long time as he spent an inordinate amount of time showing me stuff. Not only was there no dessert, but then he and his wife got into a huge fight in front of me (and their poor 5-yr-old DD).

Hmmm, methinks there may be a connection between the husband's promise of a yummy dessert being provided, and the tension between him and his wife...!   What's the bet he said "Oh by the way, Jaxsue is stopping by to pick up XYZ, you'll whip up a fancy cheesecake won't you?"  and didn't like the response he got.         Hence you got no dessert, and walked into a very unpleasant situation.   Very unfair on you as a guest!