Extreme Dietary Restrictions: The Raw Vegan guest

[Aeris]

My SO's mother is coming to town soon for a wedding. She intends to spend 2 days hanging out with me and my SO after the wedding stuff. She will not be staying with us - likely will be at a very inexpensive hotel (i.e., no kitchen facilities in her room).

There's absolutely no way that I can figure to avoid all meals with her for those two days. But she's a raw vegan. Sometimes when she's travelling she's just vegan, not raw. If that's the case, I can cook a whole plethora of vegan things for meals, and/or take her to a zillion places that are either entirely vegan or have vegan options, and are not crazy expensive. I'm a vegetarian, and pushing to vegan is not terribly difficult for me, it just takes some thought. But raw?

But if she's sticking to raw vegan, I'm not sure what to do, really. There are very few things I know how to make that are raw vegan and have any reasonable balance of protein. I don't have a dehydrator, which seems to be key to making a lot of things in the raw world.

If she is sticking to raw vegan while she's here - what do I do? I know there are a few raw restaurants here, but some of them are expensive, and I don't want to eat out in Manhattan for every meal for those two days. And honestly, I'm not sure I can eat raw vegan myself for every meal for 2 days (which is what would happen if we went to a raw vegan restaurant for every meal). One meal, sure.

Advice on how to deal with this practically as well as politely?

[cicero]

ask her?

"hey mom, i was getting in some supplies for your visit - would you mind telling me what you can eat?"

or if she is of the "whatever you do is fine" school of thought, then "mom, do you eat hummus, peanut butter, and nut pate? I get a really nice nut pate from TJ's, you can have that with vegetables and fruit dippers"

I don't think that *you* have to eat raw vegan - just make sure there is enough for her to eat.

[Aeris]

ask her?

"hey mom, i was getting in some supplies for your visit - would you mind telling me what you can eat?"

or if she is of the "whatever you do is fine" school of thought, then "mom, do you eat hummus, peanut butter, and nut pate? I get a really nice nut pate from TJ's, you can have that with vegetables and fruit dippers"

I don't think that *you* have to eat raw vegan - just make sure there is enough for her to eat.

I guess I'll feel weird cooking a wildly different meal for SO and I, and offering her peanut butter and veggies for each meal...

Finding out what she can eat will not be impossible, I just don't think it's going to be a lot. When I went down for Christmas she had not fully transitioned to raw, so all the family meals (including the ones SO and I cooked for the family) were vegan optionized but not raw.

Making the same basic meal for meat/vegetarian/vegan is loads easier than raw. There are a number of things I can make where making her a vegan version, me a vegetarian version, and SO a meat version is workable - but they are all cooked things...

I can ask her for all out meal suggestions, but there's some unrelated tension between her and SO right now that make it more likely she'll be very 'don't go to any effort on my account' which she doesn't really mean and just makes it more difficult to actually accommodate her.

[cicero]

ask her?

"hey mom, i was getting in some supplies for your visit - would you mind telling me what you can eat?"

or if she is of the "whatever you do is fine" school of thought, then "mom, do you eat hummus, peanut butter, and nut pate? I get a really nice nut pate from TJ's, you can have that with vegetables and fruit dippers"

I don't think that *you* have to eat raw vegan - just make sure there is enough for her to eat.

I guess I'll feel weird cooking a wildly different meal for SO and I, and offering her peanut butter and veggies for each meal...

Finding out what she can eat will not be impossible, I just don't think it's going to be a lot. When I went down for Christmas she had not fully transitioned to raw, so all the family meals (including the ones SO and I cooked for the family) were vegan optionized but not raw.

Making the same basic meal for meat/vegetarian/vegan is loads easier than raw. There are a number of things I can make where making her a vegan version, me a vegetarian version, and SO a meat version is workable - but they are all cooked things...

I can ask her for all out meal suggestions, but there's some unrelated tension between her and SO right now that make it more likely she'll be very 'don't go to any effort on my account' which she doesn't really mean and just makes it more difficult to actually accommodate her.

i understand that but she has a very restricted diet and I wouldn't expect that *everyone* has to follow it. It's like if one person is a diabetic or GF or severe allergy to a common X ingredient (say onion) - i wouldn't expect the.entire.meal.plan over a two day visit to accommodate that person. If i have a guest who is vegan while everyone else is carnivore and hate vegan (yes, it's happened), then i'll make sure there is enough for the vegan to eat (vegan soup, salad, hummus, sides) but i wouldn't expect everyone to eat vegan.

and raw vegan is even more restrictive!

[O'Dell]

 Why not ask her to shop and prepare meals *with* you and/or your BF? Make it part of spending time with her.

[a]

How about if you take her out once - try to find a less expensive place, many vegan places offer some raw dishes; I had a raw burger y'day that was delicious and not pricey - and then you could 'cook' once and then make it a personalised salad type thing, ie masses of bowls with different types of food that you mix yourselves. You could offer veggies such as avocadoes (often popular with rawies), celery, nuts and seeds, sprouts, salad leaves, some algae if you like (actually 'sushi' might be something you could make for all of you if you like that, this is a raw recipe not using rice of course:http://www.fromsadtoraw.com/Recipes/RawSushi.htm), parsley, berries, courgettes, herbs, peppers, tomatoes... And then everyone just takes what they want.

I'd worry less about ensuring that she gets protein with every meal. Most westerners eat far too much protein, which is very unhealthy, and most vegetables contain some. She's probably not counting on eating 100% balanced food all the time.

Agree with others that it's fine to ask her for suggestions! Being a vegan myself I'm very used to that and appreciate it. (And unless I know the people I'm seeing I always assume that I won't be able to eat much, so bring something I can eat discreetly if salad leaves are the only thing on offer ;-) )

[Zilla]

I don't see it that difficult.  I would take the raw version of any recipe, make a serving for mil and then continue with same ingredients and cook it for yourself and SO.


This is a great site: http://rawfoodhealthwatch.com/raw-food/raw-vegan-recipes/


For an example they had a mushroom soup on there.  I would make a version of it for mil and then take the same mushrooms and make a cooked soup for yourself and SO.


Or raw lasagna, again raw for her and cooked for you/SO. 
http://rawfoodhealthwatch.com/raw-vegan-recipes/raw-lasagna/


Good luck!

[wx4caster]

Try googling "Black Bean and Corn Salad with Red Peppers". My version has walnuts and parsley with a Dijon mustard dressing but there's one on my list to try with avocado and cilantro (which I love).

I once took a huge bowl of chick-pea salad (with diced beets, boiled new potatoes, shredded carrot with a garlic-mustard dressing) to a post-triathlon pot-luck and both the vegans called dibs on the leftovers.

And then, there's the dependable hummus, pita and vegetables.

[rose red]

How about searching for a list of grocery stores near you (chains, independents, ethnic), show her the list, and take her shopping?  She can pick out the food herself.

[WillyNilly]

Try googling "Black Bean and Corn Salad with Red Peppers". My version has walnuts and parsley with a Dijon mustard dressing but there's one on my list to try with avocado and cilantro (which I love).

I once took a huge bowl of chick-pea salad (with diced beets, boiled new potatoes, shredded carrot with a garlic-mustard dressing) to a post-triathlon pot-luck and both the vegans called dibs on the leftovers.

And then, there's the dependable hummus, pita and vegetables.

Those don't sound like very raw menu items 
Generally beans are cooked (anything canned for example, is by default considered cooked) - including the chick peas in most hummus' and I'm not sure about finding an unbaked pita. Boiled potatoes are of course not raw by virtue of being boiled and raw beets taste like dirt (well IMO) so I presume those would be cooked... Heck even many peanut butters are made with roasted peanuts. 

Overall I think you should do a little research into raw recipes, a little research into raw dining out options and then ask MIL for some suggestions of her own.  Hopefully she will ease up on the raw bit for her visit, or have some really easy go-to foods/recipes she can share with you.  The good thing is its springtime so salads, etc are easy and appropriate for at least a few meals (fruit salad and [raw] nuts for breakfast, a fancy dinner or lunch salad with maybe some soaked raw chickpeas...)

[jmarvellous]

I would shred some things, soak some things, stock lots of fruit and easy-to-eat veggies and generally make a very modest effort to help her eat. Then let her figure things out from there.

A diet like that is NOT something people can reasonably expect others to figure out or fully prepare for -- it's just so unfamiliar.

That said, I'd personally enjoy experimenting with affordable, raw foods for just two days and would probably go all out for it, but I realize my nearly vegan diet is pretty odd to start from for most people.

[QueenofAllThings]

Pod to jmarvelous - have leafy greens, 'sticks' (carrots, celery, cukes) and other raw veggies - radishes, green beans, and lots of fresh fruit. Your guest will either choose to go vegan for her stay or, frankly, if she wants to be raw vecgan, I imagine she'll bring some of her own food and cook  herself.

[ChiGirl]

I can ask her for all out meal suggestions, but there's some unrelated tension between her and SO right now that make it more likely she'll be very 'don't go to any effort on my account' which she doesn't really mean and just makes it more difficult to actually accommodate her.

Ok, three points:

1) Unrelated tension or not, it should primarily be your SO's job to figure this out.  She's not your mother.

2) If she's going to have an extreme dietary restriction, then she should make the effort to be accommodated!  (She sounds a little passive-aggressive about it.)

3) If she's not staying with you, you're not responsible for all her meals.  Figure out how many meals you can comfortably handle --- i.e., "ok, we can go to that one restaurant for dinner, and that other place for lunch, and I can cook that one thing the other dinner" --- and make this grown-up woman offer some input for the rest.

[CakeEater]

I would have no clue at all about how to go about accommodating this request, and quit frankly, wouldn't be willing to even eat that way, let alone cook that way for more than one meal.

I think you should have SO contact his mother and work out a plan between them about meals.

[HorseFreak]

I would have no clue at all about how to go about accommodating this request, and quit frankly, wouldn't be willing to even eat that way, let alone cook that way for more than one meal.

I think you should have SO contact his mother and work out a plan between them about meals.

I agree. My ex-BF of over three years eventually went raw vegan and eating together got pretty painful. There is hidden egg in everything it seemed. If you do want to make a big effort, Ani Phyo has some books with tasty raw vegan recipes- though the dessert section is my favorite. Just skip the introduction since she gets extremely preachy and obnoxious about how unhealthy she was before converting (which is exactly how my ex became, it's one of the major reasons he's an ex). Be forewarned they can be expensive to prepare.