Posting wedding photos online.

[emeraldsage85]

I recently attended a wedding and took a lot of pictures (close to 100). I am by no means a professional photographer. Most of my shots were candids or friends posing together, making silly faces. I uploaded them to Facebook the other day. Today I received this response from the Bride:

Hey emeraldsage. Was just looking through the photos you posted from our wedding. While we don't have a problem with our guests posting a few of their favorite photos, we didn't really want every single photo from the night posted. We hired professional photographers and would really like them to be able to have a chance to upload the edited ones before there are hundreds of others posted online. We put a lot of money into them. I hope you understand.  Really appreciate it, emeraldsage.

I really don't understand the Bride's problem here. I'm not trying to upstage the pros and my Facebook is on the maximum privacy setting. Only friends can view the album. I have a very small friends list and most of them were at the wedding.

Can someone please give me a whack with the clue-by-four? Is she overreacting or am I rude in thinking there is nothing wrong with my photos?

[cattlekid]

She probably wants the photographer to be able to sell photos to interested parties.  She probably figures that the photographer won't be able to sell as many prints if the candid photos are readily available for free. 

[jmarvellous]

She is overreacting.

They're your photos, and you didn't do anything wrong.

[Jones]

@cattlekid: That was my thought too; after my sister's wedding, the professional photographer tried to sell us all mugs with her mug on them (hahaha). Anyway, I think that you have a right to do whatever you want with YOUR property. It sounds like the photos you took, although they took place at a wedding, are in no way compared to the types of photos the professional took. You took candid shots with funny faces. Professional took posed photos of the bridal party and family (I assume).

The question becomes, how much you respect this bride's POV. Are you going to take down all the photos for her? Are you going to just take down anything with the bridal party in it, and when she questions that explain that it's highly unlikely the remaining photos are of people the professional was snapping, much less of similar quality? Or do you just want to ignore her request, as the photos do belong to you to do with as you please and it's not your fault the photographer is taking time to deliver?

Heck, for world peace, would you want to take down all the pics but make an offer to your friends that they can have CDs with copies if they want them? It would be thoroughly ridiculous of the bride to demand you not share pictures with the subjects of the pictures.

[WillyNilly]

Yeah... she's a whack a loon.

I don't even know what to tell you.  I mean obviously she's your friend so you don't want to offend her or be harsh in your reaction but I don't even get her request.  Its ok to have some photos but not so many?  Whats her [arbitrary] cut-off number?  She doesn't want "every single" picture up... well I presume you deleted at least a few so you already didn't post every single picture.  And you weren't the hired photog so presumably you didn't get a lot of the more official or behind the scenes pictures, or even the common ones from the perfect angle, etc like the hired guy did.

[emeraldsage85]

I took down the entire album so it doesn't become an issue. She's a lovely person and I don't want to wreck our friendship over something so trivial. However, I can't help but feel a bit annoyed. I'm waiting until I cool down before responding to her message.

[s]

The first thing DH and I did after the wedding was over and right before we were to head to our hotel for the night, was check fb to see all the pics our friends and family posted.  I've also taken pics at weddings as a guest and posted them for people to see.  I think it's nice to be able to see some pics right away since it takes awhile for the professional ones to be ready. 

[Kaypeep]

I think the bride is over stepping.  They are your photos. If you feel the need to compromise, I'd delete only the pics of the happy couple and keep the candids of yourself and friends. Something tells me she's really only concerned about how SHE looks, so remove her pics and leave the rest.

On a related note, it does personally drive me crazy when people upload entire albums with 100 or more pics to FB.  With the advent of digital images this happens more and more, and I really wish people would just select some and make smaller albums.  I truly don't wish to sort through 100 pics, especially when most are redundant.    I won't look at any pictures when I see the # in the album and it's that high. 

Your friend might think that the sheer quantity of photos implies some higher level of importance with regards to her wedding, and she prefers to be the main holder of pictures via the professional photographers.  A few snaps as a guest is one thing, but presenting over 100 pics, that kind of volume is usually reserved for family, the bridal party, etc.   In other words, you're stealing her thunder.   I don't necessarily agree.  I've seen some brides recently ask for everyone to post all their wedding pictures, so some people have no issue with multitudes of photos.  But your friend seems to have a control issue, so I'd cut back if you want to stay on good terms.

[Harriet]

Maybe a compromise could be to ask her (after you've cooled down) if she would mind if you put yours back up after the professional ones are available for a little while. Her note to you implies that would be okay with her.

[Sheila Take a Bow]

I suspect the problem is with the volume, too -- I think Kaypeep might be right about the bride wanting to be the main keeper of the photos.  If all of the guests post large albums of the photos they took, then by the time the professional photos are out, everyone would be tired of looking at photos from the wedding.

I don't know that I agree with that POV, but personally I would not feel comfortable posting photos of my friend's event without first making sure that the friend is okay with those photos being posted.

[Lady Snowdon]

I would be uncomfortable if someone posted that many photos of my wedding on FB before I'd even gotten a chance to see my photographer's pictures as well.  For one thing, I think it's better to ask permission before posting photos of someone else's event.  Also, it's kind of hard for me to explain, but it felt to me like I had some possession over what went on that day, and the record of it.  Maybe I was just being crazy bridal Zilla, but I got annoyed when my SIL and her BF went into the church and took pictures of themselves standing up at the altar - it was like "this is my wedding, not yours"!  I think it's very possible that your friend wanted to have some time (and get her photographer's pictues) to create the record that she wanted of the wedding. 

[Shoo]

I think posting over 100 pictures was the problem.  It wasn't your event, so you posting so many pictures was ...  not sure how to put this ... kind of over-the-top.  I can see posting a few (a dozen maybe?  Two dozen maybe?) of your best shots of your friends, but posting over 100?  Too much.  I can see the HC being bothered by that. 

[whatsanenigma]

Well, I assume she knew you (and I assume other people) were taking the pictures during the wedding, etc., so what did she think you were going to do with them?

I think if she was going to be bothered in any way by the pictures of other people getting posted, for whatever reason (some good possibilities suggested by previous posters and I am sure there are more possibilities) I think she should have thought about that in advance, and either told people not to take their own pictures, or somehow made it clear before the wedding that she would like any sharing of them to wait at least a week, or whatever.

But either she gave you all explicit permission, or she saw you taking pictures and didn't stop you, so I am really confused by her request.

ETA: I personally can't imagine getting offended if somebody posted lots of pictures if I got married or some other big event happened.  I think I would be flattered.

[LadyL]

Someone I know posted a facebook status reminding people to be mindful of this sort of thing, but it was more about not posting unflattering photos of sweaty brides, with so many summer weddings coming up.

I think feeling as though one "owns" an event, or the visual representation of an event on social media, borders on overly controlling for sure. As a former event promoter, do you always hope that the perfectly staged photos are the first ones people see? Sure. Is it usually the blurry camera phone pics that make it out first? Yep. That's just life. But people posting photos from your event usually is a sign that they had an awesome time, and want to share that with the world, and that's a good thing.

Of course I am the type of bride who is only having a wedding because of my family (otherwise I'd elope or do the courthouse thing). So maybe that colors my perspective.

[Bluenomi]

You photos, you can do what you like. Your happy snaps are not going to take the shine off her professional photos unless she picked a really bad photographer