Someone in another post made the comment of "tiered gift giving".
This gave me some food for thought...because I am sure I am not the only IL facing this dilemma.
My DH and I have been married 5 years. I have a DS with my ex. Every.Single.Holiday my IL shower their DS and my DS with gifts. Tons of high end, expensive gifts. I receive "gifts" that are probably 5% of what the rest of my family receives.
END BG –
An example...so you understand that I am NOT trying to be a greedy, SS.
(this is just ONE example of 7 years of gift giving…)
This past Christmas, my DH received the following:
$200 home depot gift card
....thoughtful gift #15
My DS received:
$300 worth of Legos
$100 worth of various toys
....thoughtful gift #10
Dollar Store thank you notes
An orange colored "fringe-thingy"
A T-shirt 2 sizes two large
Bandaids. Literally…. bandaids.
In the beginning, I was just incredibly grateful that they were so good to my DS their "step-grandchild"
After a couple of years...I thought...well, they just don’t know me that well...and don’t know what to get me. (we live far away from them).
7 years later....this is still going on.
Now, please allow me to note:
1) It is their money…and they can spend it as they please
2) It is the thought, not the money spent.
3) I mail thank you notes and make calls of appreciation every time.
4) My mother is poor and gives DH and I gifts that are probably around $25. We always love them because she puts effort into getting us things we would enjoy.
5) ANY gift given should be appreciated….but what if it’s a passive aggressive gift?
I am starting to feel snubbed by my IL’s.
And annoyed that my DH doesn’t “see” any of this.
I haven’t spoken with him about this…because I am finding it hard to articulate my feelings without just seeming greedy. But its not about the GIFTS!!!! I am starting to feel disrespected.
What is the proper, etiquette filled way of dealing with this??