General Etiquette > Family and Children

How to Respond to Questions About Ex

(1/6) > >>

WestAussieGirl:
As some of you know, my husband left me just before Christmas.  I have since found out that it was for another (much younger) woman.  All of my friends and family obviously know by now.  My problem is how to deal with the casual enquiries about him.

For example, today a guy from work said my husband must be really happy because his football team had a big win.  I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable by saying "he's not my husband anymore" so I just sort of bean-dipped.  Now I feel bad for lying and think he'll feel worse if and when he does hear about it. 

So, how do you answer a question when you know the truth is going to make the person feel bad for asking (even though they had no way of knowing it was a sore spot)?

I am still heartbroken so it's very difficult for me to play it off lightly beyond a few words.

JoyinVirginia:
I think it is perfectly polite to simply say ” we are not together anymore”. The person may apologize at which point you can say that you are not offended but don't want to talk about it. If they ask any questions, again just say you don't want to talk about it.
Hugs.

LeveeWoman:

--- Quote from: WestAussieGirl on May 23, 2012, 08:04:03 AM ---As some of you know, my husband left me just before Christmas.  I have since found out that it was for another (much younger) woman.  All of my friends and family obviously know by now.  My problem is how to deal with the casual enquiries about him.

For example, today a guy from work said my husband must be really happy because his football team had a big win.  I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable by saying "he's not my husband anymore" so I just sort of bean-dipped.  Now I feel bad for lying and think he'll feel worse if and when he does hear about it. 

So, how do you answer a question when you know the truth is going to make the person feel bad for asking (even though they had no way of knowing it was a sore spot)?

I am still heartbroken so it's very difficult for me to play it off lightly beyond a few words.

--- End quote ---

I don't have advice on what to say but I want to point out that bean-dipping someone is not lying.

Wait. I do have advice: continue to bean-dip until you get stronger.

TootsNYC:

--- Quote from: WestAussieGirl on May 23, 2012, 08:04:03 AM --- a guy from work said my husband must be really happy because his football team had a big win. 

--- End quote ---

Does no one at your office know about the split?

I'd ask someone sensible to sort of spread the word around, along w/ info that says, "don't badger her about it, it's a sensitive subject, but just so you know"

WestAussieGirl:

--- Quote from: LeveeWoman on May 23, 2012, 08:12:27 AM ---
I don't have advice on what to say but I want to point out that bean-dipping someone is not lying.


--- End quote ---

Intellectually I know that, but it felt like lying or at least being less than honest.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page