General Etiquette > Family and Children

How to Respond to Questions About Ex

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Mental Magpie:

--- Quote from: thunderroad on May 24, 2012, 07:16:49 AM ---LifeOnPluto has the right idea--and I know from experience.

The next time one of these instances comes up, you might try saying, as breezily as you can, Oh, I wouldn't know, we separated a while ago.  then you bean dip -- no, it's fine -- have you met that new supervisor in accounting? 

People will feel a little embarrassed, as will you, because it's an awkward situation.  But if you smile, let them know they have not offended you by bringing him up, it will all be okay.  And in the meantime, you will be spreading the news, quietly, so fewer of these instances will occur in the future.

And, hugs.  It is a rough time in many, many ways, and I wish you the best.

--- End quote ---

This.

If I was you, I wouldn't be worried about lying so to speak, but about the "offender" finding out later what an bottom he had made of himself because he didn't know.  That would be why I would be compelled to tell him when he mentioned it.

This happened quite a bit when my dad died.  People would ask me how my parents were doing and I would tell them my mom was doing just fine (it was my way of giving a small signal that my dad was technically no longer in the picture).  Some of them would take the hint, "Oh, no!  I'm so sorry!" others wouldn't catch it (I can't blame them, it was subtle), "What about your dad?" then I'd tell them, they'd apologize and be worried they would offend me.  This is where the reassurance that I wasn't hurt followed by the bean-dip worked best.  "No, that's okay, you didn't know.  How is your family doing?"  By being "dismissive" about it instead of harping on, I felt I was giving the signal that it was okay and that they hadn't hurt me.

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