General Etiquette > Family and Children
Help dealing with FSIL UPDATE #28
JoyinVirginia:
I also like the ” bless your heart” response, and if her family says something like.. ”fsil says you always pick a bad restaurant” you can respond with ” bless her heart, she should know we always go where mom and Dad pick.” I also think the gallon size of bean dip will work.
Recent topics: Phillip Phillips won American idol over Jessica Sanchez, was that the right choice? Did you know poor Phillip will be having kidney surgery this week, he put out off during the competition, tmz says so, it must be true!
Donald driver won dancing with the stars over that adorable Cuban William Levy and the opera singer Katherine Jenkins - was that the right decision? Who are the other sports guys who have been on that show? Who should be on the all star edition coming this fall?
What is your favorite dance? Do you like to dance? Are we dancing at the reception? What kind of music will the DJ be playing? Do you like country or rock or opera?
Movies are always good topics. Have you seen avengers? Dark shadows? Is the fsil mother in her mid to late fifties - if so she probably rushed home from school every day to see the original dark shadows. Ask if she was a Barnabas Collins fan. Did you know Jonathan Frid who played Barnabas recently died? He had a cameo in the movie! Johnny Depp was a big fan of the original actor! Mr frid was Canadian!
How about that weather?
Ok, write all theses suggestions on note cards and you will be set for small talk!
portabella:
OP, in situations like this I’ve found that frowning, cocking my head, and saying “That’s a strange thing for you to say” works. I wouldn’t pretend not to remember various incidents – I would ask “And your reason for bringing that up would be . . . .?” Lather, rinse, repeat. If the other person replies with a shrug and something like "No big deal. I was just (whatever", your only reply should be "Oh. I see." Enjoy the silence which will follow. Then . .. .beandip. The other party looks foolish and rude.
On more than one occasion I’ve had to have contact with people like your FSIL. I let him/her go on and on about something which clearly made me uncomfortable, then I said “Are you finished with your little story? I’m confused. Exactly what is your point?” Not in an angry tone, actually with a smile and puzzled stare. The other person got uncomfortable, everyone looked at her, and she became frazzled and said something about me being overly-sensitive. Yeah, right. ::) But she never bothered me again. In fact, one person stopped speaking to me, which was fine.
--- Quote ---it has always rubbed me the wrong way but politeness has always stopped me from retaliating.
--- End quote ---
You need to stop being so polite. I don’t think sitting down trying to talk this out with your brother will accomplish diddly. You don’t have a good relationship with him, and you’re certainly not going to have a decent relationship with this awful FSIL, so don’t kid yourself into thinking otherwise. Actual "retaliation" isn't necessary. I'd have as little to do with them as possible. Also, don't discuss them with others - at all - it will get back to them and they will just revel in being able to upset you.
kckgirl:
How did the rehearsal go?
gramma dishes:
--- Quote from: portabella on May 25, 2012, 10:39:22 AM ---... I wouldn’t pretend not to remember various incidents ...
--- End quote ---
I don't get the impression that she's "pretending" to not remember those incidents. I think she's saying that those things either never ever happened in the first place, or if they did she really doesn't remember them!
joraemi:
--- Quote from: TootsNYC on May 24, 2012, 10:53:19 AM ---I like the big sigh.
And then a bright smile and bean dip.
--- End quote ---
POD
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