I still struggle to understand how a compliment on a physical attribute (like a smile, or hair, or eye color) is a bad thing, even if (especially if) intended as a way to talk to a romantic interest. Physical attraction is a major component for many if not all people. I don't think this means that everyone who compliments my smile, for example, thinks I will immediately play scrabble with them and I think it would be rude of me to react as though that were the case.
This. Also, I really hate mentioning this on ehell because I usually get castrated, but to me
, it's really nice
to feel like you are attractive as a woman to a man. I like
to feel this way (even though it's a rare occurrence!). Reading Reasons OP actually cheered me up and made me feel a bit reminiscent and dreamyof my single-life thats now long gone. Someone has brightened up your day and made you feel confident or more sexy whether it be that they have complimented you on your looks or
personality. They have said something nice
. So what if they're only interested in my body or 'getting something'?, doesn't mean I have to give it to them. I can just enjoy it as harmless one-way flirtation. Say thank you, I'm flattered, and move on with my day. The KEY is a guy to back off when he can SEE he is making a woman uncomfortable or if those romantic considerations are not reciprocated.
My point is, some people don't like to feel this way. They don't like the personal compliments for the very reason I do not mind them
. Thus, this matter is a personal preference. I don't think the rude/non-rude debate ever comes into it. I don't understand how it is ever rude to compliment someones appearance. Sure that wolf whistle or wink or "nice bum" comment from the builder is immature, but people have different levels of what they don't mind or what they don't see as a big deal. Who made up the rule that its rude to compliment someones looks that you'd like to get to know better romantically? I've never heard it before. Of course all etiquette rules are developed through established societal norms instead of an explicit authoritative status but flirtation that involves compliments has never been one of these rules has it? In the same way like pleases and thank you's are polite. If it was a hard and fast rule, there wouldn't be this thread or millions of boys around the world right now telling a girl she has 'lovely eyes'. Why does the right of one girl not to feel discomfort trump the other girls right have the option to receive comfort and joy through interaction or the right of a boy to simply tell a girl he thinks she's pretty? It shouldn't. They should both be equal so shouldn't be based on a rule of any sort. People should go about their daily lives as they wish.
Something being rude and something causing you discomfort are not the same thing. It is perfectly logical for someone to feel discomfort from a perfectly polite gesture. I just don't think you can dismiss something as 'rude' because it makes you unhappy. You can call it a lot of other things, but not rude.
As I've said, one day I'll be 90 and everything will be saggy. I'll long for the days of complimentary comments then!