Being asked for for a ride by a stanger

[Reader]

Stopped in a store to pick up cigarettes on my lunch break today.  Had a complete stranger that was buying a very large glass bottle of beer (slang term is a 40 in the US), turn to me while I am signing my card slip and ask me if I can give him ride up the hill.  Did not help that this guy was a complete stranger to me, did not smell particularly good, and was twice my size, and decided that it would be a good idea to take a step closer while asking.  So I got to use "I'm afraid that won't be possible today!"  Guy stepped back, I finished my transaction, and I was able to walk out the door without another word from him.  But in all that is holy why did he ever think that would be okay to ask?

[Reason]

I'd have given him a ride, if it's just up the hill Of course I in order for him to be twice my size he would have to have been 530 lbs and probably wouldn't fit in my car.

That said, If I were you (a presume, a woman that is not used to handling carjackers or lunatics), I would have refused as well. I am not sure it was really rude of him to ask, because it doesn't seem to put you out much and most men don't see themselves as a possible psychopath. However, the very real possibility that he was at least unstable, makes your choice a wise one. It wasn't rude to refuse either.

[jmarvellous]

I can't answer your question about why he thought it was OK to ask without knowing the guy, but I can say that most people in a decent state of mind would know it was a bit absurd in the situation as described!

A male friend had a very similar situation arise except it was after dark and the genders were switched (and he was about her size, if that matters). By the time they'd gone a block, she'd done cocaine off his dashboard, admitted she was avoiding her pimp and looking for her next client and offered her services to my friend in return for reimbursement for the alcohol she'd bought at the store.  I'm blurry on the exact cost of service ... it's been a while since I heard the tale.
At any rate, neither friend nor I nor anyone else who heard that story has been tempted to answer in the affirmative when asked for a ride by a drinking stranger since!

[Reader]

I stand 5'7" and have a very petite frame.  So much some guy friends have told me I need a bodyguard/pseudo boyfriend when I go out just so no one will mess with me.  I barely came to this guy's shoulder and if I try to guess his weight I'd say it would be in the 200lb range. So if he had wanted to overpower me it would have been easy. I don't think his request was rude just strange.  Had he been a woman and my size I might have considered it if it wasn't too far out of my way. 

[Outdoor Girl]

A friend of mine was driving from one location to another on a secondary highway for work.  She stopped to pick up a late teen/early 20's boy who was hitching.  She admitted later that it wasn't the smartest thing she'd ever done but it was broad daylight and people were expecting her.

So she pulls over to let him out where he'd asked her to and he turns to her and says, 'Wanna [fuddleduddle]?'  She was very quick thinking, glanced at her watch and said that she really didn't have time; she had to get to a meeting.  So the kid says OK, hops out of the car and she drives off.  Presumably the offer was in payment for the ride??

Reader, I don't blame you at all for turning the guy down.  I'm not sure it was rude to ask but it was certainly clueless.  As a fairly large guy, he should be aware that he presents a somewhat intimidating visage.

The city I used to live in had a woman who would jump into cars at stoplights and instruct the driver where to take her.  It happened to a friend of mine and he actually drove her because she wouldn't get out of the car!  Personally, I would have refused and not moved until she did get out, despite any line up piling up behind me when I didn't go through the light.  If I didn't have my phone handy, hopefully someone behind would have called the police and they could have sorted it out.

[Martienne]

The city I used to live in had a woman who would jump into cars at stoplights and instruct the driver where to take her.  It happened to a friend of mine and he actually drove her because she wouldn't get out of the car!  Personally, I would have refused and not moved until she did get out, despite any line up piling up behind me when I didn't go through the light.  If I didn't have my phone handy, hopefully someone behind would have called the police and they could have sorted it out.

My husband had something similar happen to him. It wasn't so much that he couldn't get her out of the car as that he was so utterly shocked that she had just jumped in and begged a ride off him he didn't know how to day no. It was about halfway to her destination that he realized her rambling was her attempt to negotiate her 'payment' for the ride (she still expected monetary compensation for her professional Scrabble services, of course!). He pulled out his wallet and opened it to show her he had precisely $1 to his name. At this point she started berating him for being racist and cheap and various other names--because of his skin color he was obviously flush with cash, you see. It was just hidden somewhere. This finally made him angry; he was unemployed, had been for over a year, and she'd jumped in the car while he was in the middle of the only job we had between us, a weekly free paper route that paid $30 a week that he was only out doing alone because my back was out. He gave her the dollar to get her to get out of the car--even then he had to drive her to her neighborhood liquor store to get that to happen.

He came home pretty upset. It actually didn't occur to him he could have just kicked her out of the car until I suggested it to him. Even after he got mad he was being too nice about it for her to take the hint.

[Barb3000]

  I think fuddleduddle is my new favorite word....

[rain]

Years ago, in my hometown, there was a homeless man (by a certain stoplight) who would jump in cars that had to stop there.  His victims usually teen/early twenties girls.  He would then refuse to get out of the car unless he was given $$.

My DM told us to always make sure our car doors were locked.

The police knew about it- but couldn't do much about it - other than occasionally post an officer there (this was prior to cell phones & car doors that automatically lock when the car is in drive).

[Twik]

When I was 18, I had two men jump into my car, as I was leaving a parking lot. They asked to be taken to Pond St.

They were drunk enough, I suppose, that this seemed a logical way to get a lift. Nowadays, I'd probably bolt from the car. Instead, I took them to Pond Street, where they happily departed, leaving only a trail of alcohol fumes in their wake.

[bloo]

A friend of mine was driving from one location to another on a secondary highway for work.  She stopped to pick up a late teen/early 20's boy who was hitching.  She admitted later that it wasn't the smartest thing she'd ever done but it was broad daylight and people were expecting her.

So she pulls over to let him out where he'd asked her to and he turns to her and says, 'Wanna [fuddleduddle]?'  She was very quick thinking, glanced at her watch and said that she really didn't have time; she had to get to a meeting.  So the kid says OK, hops out of the car and she drives off.  Presumably the offer was in payment for the ride??

Could be quid pro quo. Or it could be that since she showed poor judgment in giving him a lift in the first place, maybe - with any luck for him -  she'd continue to show poor judgement by 'fuddleduddling' with the young man.

But I don't understand why she had to show 'quick thinking' by glancing at her watch and saying she really didn't have time to fuddleduddle. Did she feel threatened by the idea of an appropriate response to an inappropriate proposal (looking at him as if he'd sprung another head while saying, "No! Get out!")? Because feeling threatened is the only reason I'd imagine responding like that - which is why your friend is right about one thing - it wasn't the smartest thing she ever did, giving him a ride in the first place.

[Pippen]

My father and I had stopped to fill up the car and next to this was a liquour store. As we got back in the car this clearly crazy, somewhat enormous and unusually dressed woman jumped in the back seat and asked if we could drop her home. So after an interesting journey through a very rough part of a town we didn't know well we dropped her off. We still laugh about it to this day.

Mind you I have also picked up a guy who looked a bit distressed outside the hospital and taken him to his mothers place only for the police to come and let me know he had gone AWOL from the mental health unit. Opps.

[MellowedOne]

I've given a ride to a stranger once, which I didn't feel uncomfortable with.  The woman had been riding the bus with me, got off at the same stop and asked for a ride down the street.  Since my DH was picking me up, I was ok with it, plus she wasn't giving off any 'strange' vibes   

Normally, and certainly in the OP's case, the young man would not have been given a ride.  Complete stranger, reeking of alcohol, twice her size?  Not a chance!  There are WAY too many psychos out there to indiscriminately pick up unknowns, better alive than sorry. 

And a side piece of advice - travel with doors locked, and the 'stranger jump ins' can be 100% avoided.

[BeagleMommy]

I have never been asked by a stranger for a ride and I certainly wouldn't be giving said stranger a ride in my car.  Better safe than sorry.

[Bibliophile]

I've had a cross-dressing working-person ask for a ride at 9am on a Saturday morning at Walgreens.  Seems the person who picked him up didn't realize he was a he and not a she.  I said that I was sorry that I wouldn't be able to offer him a ride, but this sort of stuff happens.  No one expects you to honor the request of a complete stranger. 

[Jones]

My parents and husband are the types of people who give rides to people who seem like they need it. I'm usually a very suspicious person, but I recall once I was at a store that was closing for the day, and a little old lady realized the last bus had already left. I'm acquainted with the store manager, and he asked me to take her home. It wasn't a bad experience; she kept talking about how she'd be willing to sew me something if I provided her with the materials, her labor being repayment, and I kept repeating that her home was literally on my way.

I will admit I was miffed at the manager for putting me on the spot, though.