Stumper jokes

[Diane AKA Traska]

This thread's for jokes that seem so obscure that you're not sure anyone's going to get them.  I'll start:

A man walks up to a computer programmer on the street.  The man says to the programmer "I haven't had a bite in three days."  So the programmer gives the man a dollar.

(Anyone want to guess why?  )

[Tierrainney]

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing.


You can't cross a scaler with a vector.

[Iris]

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing.


You can't cross a scaler with a vector.

See, I actually know what a scal(a)r and a vector are, I know why you can't cross them. And I *still* don't get this joke because I don't know how you get from mosquito to vector. Is this a regional thing?

[lady_disdain]

See, I actually know what a scal(a)r and a vector are, I know why you can't cross them. And I *still* don't get this joke because I don't know how you get from mosquito to vector. Is this a regional thing?

In biology, a vector is an organism that transmits a pathogen to the host (aka, infects something with disease). Mosquitos are vectors to a number of lovely disease, such as malaria, dengue, etc.

[Elfmama]

This thread's for jokes that seem so obscure that you're not sure anyone's going to get them.  I'll start:

A man walks up to a computer programmer on the street.  The man says to the programmer "I haven't had a bite in three days."  So the programmer gives the man a dollar.

(Anyone want to guess why?  )

Because a byte is 8 bits, and there are 8 bits to a dollar!

[Iris]

See, I actually know what a scal(a)r and a vector are, I know why you can't cross them. And I *still* don't get this joke because I don't know how you get from mosquito to vector. Is this a regional thing?

In biology, a vector is an organism that transmits a pathogen to the host (aka, infects something with disease). Mosquitos are vectors to a number of lovely disease, such as malaria, dengue, etc.

Ah, I see. I'm afraid the last time I studied any biology I was about 14 years old 

[Diane AKA Traska]

This thread's for jokes that seem so obscure that you're not sure anyone's going to get them.  I'll start:

A man walks up to a computer programmer on the street.  The man says to the programmer "I haven't had a bite in three days."  So the programmer gives the man a dollar.

(Anyone want to guess why?  )

Because a byte is 8 bits, and there are 8 bits to a dollar!

A winner is you!

[Tierrainney]

See, I actually know what a scal(a)r and a vector are, I know why you can't cross them. And I *still* don't get this joke because I don't know how you get from mosquito to vector. Is this a regional thing?

In biology, a vector is an organism that transmits a pathogen to the host (aka, infects something with disease). Mosquitos are vectors to a number of lovely disease, such as malaria, dengue, etc.

Ah, I see. I'm afraid the last time I studied any biology I was about 14 years old 

Well, we were asked for stumper jokes. 

I don't get to tell this one very often as is does combine different scientific knowledge, but I always have liked the "what do you get when you cross..." type of jokes.

[Piratelvr1121]

This is so stupid it makes me laugh, partly because it's one Al Pacino kept telling Johnny Depp while shooting "Donnie Brasco" together and Johnny said he didn't get it for a while, or as Letterman suggested, it might have been that he didn't want to admit that he got it.

A skeleton goes into a bar.  Orders a beer, and a mop.

To hear Johnny tell it, and do his Al Pacino impression: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84-vIZztZLo

[Slartibartfast]

How did Little Johnny's math teacher know he was from a dysfunctional family?  Because he failed the vertical line test.

(The vertical line test being the way to tell whether something is a proper function or not . . .)

[Mental Magpie]

It doesn't matter how many times I try to explain this to my sister and mom, they never get it...

(Warning: Other strips on the site contain adult material; browse at your own risk.)

http://www.explosm.net/comics/2322/

[Elfmama]

 

It doesn't matter how many times I try to explain this to my sister and mom, they never get it...

(Warning: Other strips on the site contain adult material; browse at your own risk.)

http://www.explosm.net/comics/2322/

[Sanity Lost]

^^^
 

I don't get it

 

[Harriet]

^^^
 

I don't get it

 

Sanity Lost, look up the definition of onomatopoeia!

[Elfmama]

^^^
 

I don't get it

 

ONOMATOPOEIA
1
: the naming of a thing or action by a vocal imitation of the sound associated with it (as buzz, hiss)
2
: the use of words whose sound suggests the sense (like splash.)