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Author Topic: Stumper jokes  (Read 18748 times)

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Diane AKA Traska

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Stumper jokes
« on: May 26, 2012, 08:12:56 PM »
This thread's for jokes that seem so obscure that you're not sure anyone's going to get them.  I'll start:

A man walks up to a computer programmer on the street.  The man says to the programmer "I haven't had a bite in three days."  So the programmer gives the man a dollar.

(Anyone want to guess why?  :D)
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Tierrainney

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2012, 08:15:05 PM »
What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing.


You can't cross a scaler with a vector.
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Iris

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2012, 08:30:48 PM »
What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing.


You can't cross a scaler with a vector.

See, I actually know what a scal(a)r and a vector are, I know why you can't cross them. And I *still* don't get this joke because I don't know how you get from mosquito to vector. Is this a regional thing?
"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

Poirot thought you could, but forebore to say so.

lady_disdain

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #3 on: May 26, 2012, 08:55:37 PM »

See, I actually know what a scal(a)r and a vector are, I know why you can't cross them. And I *still* don't get this joke because I don't know how you get from mosquito to vector. Is this a regional thing?

In biology, a vector is an organism that transmits a pathogen to the host (aka, infects something with disease). Mosquitos are vectors to a number of lovely disease, such as malaria, dengue, etc.

Elfmama

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #4 on: May 26, 2012, 09:05:12 PM »
This thread's for jokes that seem so obscure that you're not sure anyone's going to get them.  I'll start:

A man walks up to a computer programmer on the street.  The man says to the programmer "I haven't had a bite in three days."  So the programmer gives the man a dollar.

(Anyone want to guess why?  :D)
Because a byte is 8 bits, and there are 8 bits to a dollar!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
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Iris

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #5 on: May 26, 2012, 09:06:25 PM »

See, I actually know what a scal(a)r and a vector are, I know why you can't cross them. And I *still* don't get this joke because I don't know how you get from mosquito to vector. Is this a regional thing?

In biology, a vector is an organism that transmits a pathogen to the host (aka, infects something with disease). Mosquitos are vectors to a number of lovely disease, such as malaria, dengue, etc.

Ah, I see. I'm afraid the last time I studied any biology I was about 14 years old  :)
"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

Poirot thought you could, but forebore to say so.

Diane AKA Traska

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #6 on: May 26, 2012, 09:09:40 PM »
This thread's for jokes that seem so obscure that you're not sure anyone's going to get them.  I'll start:

A man walks up to a computer programmer on the street.  The man says to the programmer "I haven't had a bite in three days."  So the programmer gives the man a dollar.

(Anyone want to guess why?  :D)
Because a byte is 8 bits, and there are 8 bits to a dollar!

A winner is you!
Location:
Philadelphia, PA

Tierrainney

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #7 on: May 26, 2012, 09:30:06 PM »

See, I actually know what a scal(a)r and a vector are, I know why you can't cross them. And I *still* don't get this joke because I don't know how you get from mosquito to vector. Is this a regional thing?

In biology, a vector is an organism that transmits a pathogen to the host (aka, infects something with disease). Mosquitos are vectors to a number of lovely disease, such as malaria, dengue, etc.

Ah, I see. I'm afraid the last time I studied any biology I was about 14 years old  :)

Well, we were asked for stumper jokes.  ;)

I don't get to tell this one very often as is does combine different scientific knowledge, but I always have liked the "what do you get when you cross..." type of jokes.



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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #8 on: May 26, 2012, 10:28:55 PM »
This is so stupid it makes me laugh, partly because it's one Al Pacino kept telling Johnny Depp while shooting "Donnie Brasco" together and Johnny said he didn't get it for a while, or as Letterman suggested, it might have been that he didn't want to admit that he got it.

A skeleton goes into a bar.  Orders a beer, and a mop.

To hear Johnny tell it, and do his Al Pacino impression: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84-vIZztZLo
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Slartibartfast

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #9 on: May 26, 2012, 11:58:54 PM »
How did Little Johnny's math teacher know he was from a dysfunctional family?  Because he failed the vertical line test.

(The vertical line test being the way to tell whether something is a proper function or not . . .)

Mental Magpie

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #10 on: May 27, 2012, 10:45:48 AM »
It doesn't matter how many times I try to explain this to my sister and mom, they never get it...

(Warning: Other strips on the site contain adult material; browse at your own risk.)

http://www.explosm.net/comics/2322/

Elfmama

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #11 on: May 27, 2012, 10:48:23 AM »
 ;D
It doesn't matter how many times I try to explain this to my sister and mom, they never get it...

(Warning: Other strips on the site contain adult material; browse at your own risk.)

http://www.explosm.net/comics/2322/
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sanity Lost

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #12 on: May 27, 2012, 05:18:43 PM »
^^^
 :-[

I don't get it

 :-[

Harriet

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #13 on: May 27, 2012, 05:49:40 PM »
^^^
 :-[

I don't get it

 :-[

Sanity Lost, look up the definition of onomatopoeia!

Elfmama

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #14 on: May 27, 2012, 05:51:08 PM »
^^^
 :-[

I don't get it

 :-[
ONOMATOPOEIA
1
: the naming of a thing or action by a vocal imitation of the sound associated with it (as buzz, hiss)
2
: the use of words whose sound suggests the sense (like splash.)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~