Author Topic: Stumper jokes  (Read 16270 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Diane AKA Traska

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4757
  • Or you can just call me Diane. (NE USA EHellion)
Stumper jokes
« on: May 26, 2012, 09:12:56 PM »
This thread's for jokes that seem so obscure that you're not sure anyone's going to get them.  I'll start:

A man walks up to a computer programmer on the street.  The man says to the programmer "I haven't had a bite in three days."  So the programmer gives the man a dollar.

(Anyone want to guess why?  :D)
Location:
Philadelphia, PA

Tierrainney

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 946
  • Where the swans winter
Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2012, 09:15:05 PM »
What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing.


You can't cross a scaler with a vector.
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Iris

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3867
Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2012, 09:30:48 PM »
What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing.


You can't cross a scaler with a vector.

See, I actually know what a scal(a)r and a vector are, I know why you can't cross them. And I *still* don't get this joke because I don't know how you get from mosquito to vector. Is this a regional thing?
"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

Poirot thought you could, but forebore to say so.

lady_disdain

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5937
    • Contemporary Jewelry
Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #3 on: May 26, 2012, 09:55:37 PM »

See, I actually know what a scal(a)r and a vector are, I know why you can't cross them. And I *still* don't get this joke because I don't know how you get from mosquito to vector. Is this a regional thing?

In biology, a vector is an organism that transmits a pathogen to the host (aka, infects something with disease). Mosquitos are vectors to a number of lovely disease, such as malaria, dengue, etc.

Elfmama

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6232
Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #4 on: May 26, 2012, 10:05:12 PM »
This thread's for jokes that seem so obscure that you're not sure anyone's going to get them.  I'll start:

A man walks up to a computer programmer on the street.  The man says to the programmer "I haven't had a bite in three days."  So the programmer gives the man a dollar.

(Anyone want to guess why?  :D)
Because a byte is 8 bits, and there are 8 bits to a dollar!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It's true. Money can't buy happiness.  You have to turn it
into books first.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Iris

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3867
Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #5 on: May 26, 2012, 10:06:25 PM »

See, I actually know what a scal(a)r and a vector are, I know why you can't cross them. And I *still* don't get this joke because I don't know how you get from mosquito to vector. Is this a regional thing?

In biology, a vector is an organism that transmits a pathogen to the host (aka, infects something with disease). Mosquitos are vectors to a number of lovely disease, such as malaria, dengue, etc.

Ah, I see. I'm afraid the last time I studied any biology I was about 14 years old  :)
"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

Poirot thought you could, but forebore to say so.

Diane AKA Traska

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4757
  • Or you can just call me Diane. (NE USA EHellion)
Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #6 on: May 26, 2012, 10:09:40 PM »
This thread's for jokes that seem so obscure that you're not sure anyone's going to get them.  I'll start:

A man walks up to a computer programmer on the street.  The man says to the programmer "I haven't had a bite in three days."  So the programmer gives the man a dollar.

(Anyone want to guess why?  :D)
Because a byte is 8 bits, and there are 8 bits to a dollar!

A winner is you!
Location:
Philadelphia, PA

Tierrainney

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 946
  • Where the swans winter
Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #7 on: May 26, 2012, 10:30:06 PM »

See, I actually know what a scal(a)r and a vector are, I know why you can't cross them. And I *still* don't get this joke because I don't know how you get from mosquito to vector. Is this a regional thing?

In biology, a vector is an organism that transmits a pathogen to the host (aka, infects something with disease). Mosquitos are vectors to a number of lovely disease, such as malaria, dengue, etc.

Ah, I see. I'm afraid the last time I studied any biology I was about 14 years old  :)

Well, we were asked for stumper jokes.  ;)

I don't get to tell this one very often as is does combine different scientific knowledge, but I always have liked the "what do you get when you cross..." type of jokes.



Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Piratelvr1121

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11383
Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #8 on: May 26, 2012, 11:28:55 PM »
This is so stupid it makes me laugh, partly because it's one Al Pacino kept telling Johnny Depp while shooting "Donnie Brasco" together and Johnny said he didn't get it for a while, or as Letterman suggested, it might have been that he didn't want to admit that he got it.

A skeleton goes into a bar.  Orders a beer, and a mop.

To hear Johnny tell it, and do his Al Pacino impression: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84-vIZztZLo
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Slartibartfast

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11843
    • Nerdy Necklaces - my Etsy shop!
Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #9 on: May 27, 2012, 12:58:54 AM »
How did Little Johnny's math teacher know he was from a dysfunctional family?  Because he failed the vertical line test.

(The vertical line test being the way to tell whether something is a proper function or not . . .)

Mental Magpie

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5579
  • ...for the dark side looks back.
Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #10 on: May 27, 2012, 11:45:48 AM »
It doesn't matter how many times I try to explain this to my sister and mom, they never get it...

(Warning: Other strips on the site contain adult material; browse at your own risk.)

http://www.explosm.net/comics/2322/
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Elfmama

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6232
Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #11 on: May 27, 2012, 11:48:23 AM »
 ;D
It doesn't matter how many times I try to explain this to my sister and mom, they never get it...

(Warning: Other strips on the site contain adult material; browse at your own risk.)

http://www.explosm.net/comics/2322/
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It's true. Money can't buy happiness.  You have to turn it
into books first.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sanity Lost

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 496
Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #12 on: May 27, 2012, 06:18:43 PM »
^^^
 :-[

I don't get it

 :-[

Harriet

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 235
Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #13 on: May 27, 2012, 06:49:40 PM »
^^^
 :-[

I don't get it

 :-[

Sanity Lost, look up the definition of onomatopoeia!

Elfmama

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6232
Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #14 on: May 27, 2012, 06:51:08 PM »
^^^
 :-[

I don't get it

 :-[
ONOMATOPOEIA
1
: the naming of a thing or action by a vocal imitation of the sound associated with it (as buzz, hiss)
2
: the use of words whose sound suggests the sense (like splash.)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It's true. Money can't buy happiness.  You have to turn it
into books first.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~