Author Topic: Stumper jokes  (Read 14551 times)

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Mental Magpie

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #15 on: May 27, 2012, 08:23:21 PM »
^^^
 :-[

I don't get it

 :-[
ONOMATOPOEIA
1
: the naming of a thing or action by a vocal imitation of the sound associated with it (as buzz, hiss)
2
: the use of words whose sound suggests the sense (like splash.)

In other words, a word that is spelled "exactly what it sounds like"... ;D 
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Slartibartfast

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #16 on: May 27, 2012, 11:01:12 PM »
It doesn't matter how many times I try to explain this to my sister and mom, they never get it...

(Warning: Other strips on the site contain adult material; browse at your own risk.)

http://www.explosm.net/comics/2322/

I'll admit; I LOLed ;D

Iris

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #17 on: May 28, 2012, 03:57:45 AM »
It doesn't matter how many times I try to explain this to my sister and mom, they never get it...

(Warning: Other strips on the site contain adult material; browse at your own risk.)

http://www.explosm.net/comics/2322/

You didn't warn me there was a pun! I don't mind adult material, but really...a PUN??!!  ;)

This one came from one of my students. Less a joke and more a "What's the worst pick up line ever?"-type groaner

A man walks up to a woman sunbaking on a beach and says "Hey, I could be sin and you could be cos and together we can make a tan"

"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

Poirot thought you could, but forebore to say so.

Virg

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #18 on: May 29, 2012, 12:26:10 PM »
The student asks the cow, "Does the dog have Buddha nature?"  The cow replies, "Moo."

Virg

Thipu1

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #19 on: May 30, 2012, 10:27:40 AM »
Here's one that I told by an Irish Egyptologist.

'Who is the Irish deity in the ancient Egyptian pantheon?'.


Diane AKA Traska

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #20 on: May 30, 2012, 11:46:05 AM »
Here's one that I told by an Irish Egyptologist.

'Who is the Irish deity in the ancient Egyptian pantheon?'.

O'Siris!
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Thipu1

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #21 on: May 30, 2012, 06:01:50 PM »
Here's one that I told by an Irish Egyptologist.

'Who is the Irish deity in the ancient Egyptian pantheon?'.

O'Siris!

Give Traska a cigar!  There's still a  bit more to the explanation.  He's often shown with a green face and hymns to Osiris frequently offer him 1000 jugs of beer. 

Mental Magpie

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #22 on: May 30, 2012, 10:59:07 PM »
The student asks the cow, "Does the dog have Buddha nature?"  The cow replies, "Moo."

Virg

I don't even come close to getting that :(
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Lynn2000

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #23 on: May 30, 2012, 11:05:19 PM »
In biology/chemistry we like to say, "If you aren't part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."

Honestly in my group we don't tell very many geeky jokes, though, I don't know what's wrong with us. I hope to gain some good ones from this thread! :)

ETA: I do puns sometimes. Actually, one pun over and over again, sadly...
Boss: I have to finish my contribution to the nanotechnology paper.
Me: At least it's a small part.
Then I crack up, and my boss looks at me like, "I can't believe I pay you to work here."

My dad loves "Tom Swifties," though. You start with simple ones:

"I just washed that window!" Tom said clearly.

Then you move on to more obscure ones:

"I'm learning about Charlemagne," Tom said frankly.
"All in all, Helsinki is a great city," Tom finished.
"That's a lovely Christmas tree," Tom opined.

I guess they're puns?
« Last Edit: May 30, 2012, 11:37:31 PM by Lynn2000 »
~Lynn2000

Nora

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #24 on: May 31, 2012, 05:36:42 AM »
What do you get when you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?


Someone who sits up at night wondering if there really is a Dog.

Just because someone is offended that does not mean they are in the right.

JonGirl

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #25 on: May 31, 2012, 07:02:32 AM »
In biology/chemistry we like to say, "If you aren't part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."

Honestly in my group we don't tell very many geeky jokes, though, I don't know what's wrong with us. I hope to gain some good ones from this thread! :)

ETA: I do puns sometimes. Actually, one pun over and over again, sadly...
Boss: I have to finish my contribution to the nanotechnology paper.
Me: At least it's a small part.
Then I crack up, and my boss looks at me like, "I can't believe I pay you to work here."

My dad loves "Tom Swifties," though. You start with simple ones:

"I just washed that window!" Tom said clearly.

Then you move on to more obscure ones:

"I'm learning about Charlemagne," Tom said frankly.
"All in all, Helsinki is a great city," Tom finished.
"That's a lovely Christmas tree," Tom opined.

I guess they're puns?


That's funny!!  ;D
Stewart/Colbert '16

JonGirl

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #26 on: May 31, 2012, 07:04:49 AM »


My dogma just got run over by my karma!
 :D
Stewart/Colbert '16

Mental Magpie

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #27 on: May 31, 2012, 09:20:37 AM »
In biology/chemistry we like to say, "If you aren't part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."

Honestly in my group we don't tell very many geeky jokes, though, I don't know what's wrong with us. I hope to gain some good ones from this thread! :)

ETA: I do puns sometimes. Actually, one pun over and over again, sadly...
Boss: I have to finish my contribution to the nanotechnology paper.
Me: At least it's a small part.
Then I crack up, and my boss looks at me like, "I can't believe I pay you to work here."

My dad loves "Tom Swifties," though. You start with simple ones:

"I just washed that window!" Tom said clearly.

Then you move on to more obscure ones:

"I'm learning about Charlemagne," Tom said frankly.
"All in all, Helsinki is a great city," Tom finished.
"That's a lovely Christmas tree," Tom opined.

I guess they're puns?

I have never heard of these Tom Swifties, but Dark Boyfriend is going to want to throttle you now that I have! *insert evil laugh* (Also, I'd laugh like a loon every time I said, "At least it's a small contribution." if I were you!)

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?


Someone who sits up at night wondering if there really is a Dog.



Love it!
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

JadeAngel

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #28 on: May 31, 2012, 09:21:10 AM »
Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One of them looks at the other one and says 'Do you smell fish?'

Virg

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #29 on: May 31, 2012, 12:50:39 PM »
Dark Magdelena wrote:

"I don't even come close to getting that"

I'm stunned that you don't get ancient Japanese puns.  For shame!

OK, the whole story is that this is from a famous Zen koan (a koan is the Buddhist equivalent of a parable, more or less).  In the koan, a student asks a famous Zen master that question, and he answers, "No."  The word for "no" in ancient Japanese (in which the story was originally told) is "Mu."

Virg