Author Topic: Stumper jokes  (Read 15662 times)

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Slartibartfast

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #60 on: June 10, 2012, 11:58:40 PM »
The bartender says "We don't serve faster than light particles in here."
A tachyon walks into a bar.

Okay, I LOLed at this one too  ;D

Cutenoob

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #61 on: June 11, 2012, 12:56:44 AM »
A patient was talking to his psychiatrist about some dreams he'd had.
"Doc, I had a dream 2 nights ago. It was weird. There was a teepee behind me, I was dragging it along the road with a rope. What in the heck!"
Doc asked, "What was the other dream?"
Patient answered, "Well, it's really really odd too. In that dream I was doing something similar, but it was a wigwam. I was pulling a wigwam on a rope down the road. This..bothers me."
Doc said, "I think I know."
Patient asked, "what? What does this all mean?"
Doc said, "you're just too tents."

Thipu1

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #62 on: June 11, 2012, 10:50:18 AM »
There is a thing called the 'Ancient Egyptian Alphabet'.  We've all probably seen it from time to time.  Each glyph corresponds to a letter in Western alphabets.  It is used to have someone's name spelled in Egyptian on cartouche jewelry.  children also enjoy the code aspect of the thing. 

Two of the glyphs were a hand and a forearm. 

Toward the end of the Cold War, an odd visual joke was making the rounds in Egyptological circles.  It was a modified chart without the two glyphs. 

The joke was that this was 'Uniliteral Disarmament'.         

Ms_Cellany

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #63 on: June 11, 2012, 10:52:48 AM »
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape?

/elephant/*/grape/*sin(theta)
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readingchick

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #64 on: June 13, 2012, 05:29:30 PM »
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape?

/elephant/*/grape/*sin(theta)

*sheepishly raises her hand* I'm sorry, Ms_Cellany, but I don't quite get this one.....

twiggy

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #65 on: June 13, 2012, 05:47:28 PM »
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

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Sensei Otousan

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #66 on: June 13, 2012, 06:16:20 PM »
The student asks the cow, "Does the dog have Buddha nature?"  The cow replies, "Moo."

Virg

It's actually the Japanese word "mu". It means basically to unask the question.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mu_%28negative%29
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." (Edmund Burke)

Mental Magpie

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #67 on: June 13, 2012, 09:49:36 PM »
The student asks the cow, "Does the dog have Buddha nature?"  The cow replies, "Moo."

Virg

It's actually the Japanese word "mu". It means basically to unask the question.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mu_%28negative%29

He addressed that when I asked him to explain it to me because I didn't get it.  Thanks for following up, though.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

KenveeB

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #68 on: June 13, 2012, 10:43:52 PM »
I have no jokes, but I'm posting for updates. These are great!

Ms_Cellany

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #69 on: June 15, 2012, 11:04:30 AM »
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape?

/elephant/*/grape/*sin(theta)
*sheepishly raises her hand* I'm sorry, Ms_Cellany, but I don't quite get this one.....

It's a joke on vector mathematics. Vectors have both magnitude and direction. (Winds are vectors, for instance: 5 mph north, 20 mph west). In a "cross" operation, you take the absolute value (magnitude) of each vector times the sine of the angle between them. 

The symbol for absolute value is two vertical lines, which i don't have on my keyboard. 

For the wind example, it would be /5/*/20/*sin(90)

A regular old number is called a scalar, and can't be used in this type of equation. Which leads to the next joke: "What do you get when you cross an elephant with a mountain climber?  Nothing. A mountain climber is a scaler."
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bopper

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #70 on: June 15, 2012, 01:58:08 PM »
The bartender says "We don't serve faster than light particles in here."
A tachyon walks into a bar.

Okay, I LOLed at this one too  ;D
Me too!

Pioneer

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #71 on: June 15, 2012, 02:11:47 PM »
What grows down as it grows up?
"Try to live your life so that you wouldn't be afraid to sell the family parrot to the town gossip." -- Will Rogers

White Dragon

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #72 on: June 15, 2012, 05:02:35 PM »
What grows down as it grows up?

Roots?

Ms_Cellany

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #73 on: June 15, 2012, 05:09:58 PM »
What grows down as it grows up?

A duck!
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Pioneer

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Re: Stumper jokes
« Reply #74 on: June 15, 2012, 05:19:51 PM »
What grows down as it grows up?

A duck!

Ms_Cellany wins.  Also an acceptable answer: A goose!
"Try to live your life so that you wouldn't be afraid to sell the family parrot to the town gossip." -- Will Rogers