Author Topic: What could I say? (Very Long!)  (Read 22941 times)

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Hollanda

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Re: What could I say? (Very Long!)
« Reply #45 on: June 03, 2012, 08:07:21 AM »
Harriet, thank you. I am typing on my phone so may make typos. I feel I am awful at explaining myself right now. I appear to have developed the communication skills of your average amoeba.  Maybe once I've caught up on sleep I'll feel better!

I doubt I'll go today...May change my mind later. Had a busy 2 days as a family and we are all tired
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Hollanda

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Re: What could I say? (Very Long!)
« Reply #46 on: June 03, 2012, 12:54:08 PM »
Woah. Update. I went and she was there. I ignored. She talked her usual brand of rubbish. I sang karate song and went to the.ladies'. Came out and she was there. She tried to talk to me and I said"I don't have time for this, I have to leave." she kept on and on and then yelled in my face. I remained silent...I was shocked. She was led out by security. I left 5 minutes later. Hmmm she's.got issues!!!!

Complete silences are good.
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Harriet

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Re: What could I say? (Very Long!)
« Reply #47 on: June 03, 2012, 01:51:02 PM »
Sounds like she escalated when she couldn't get a rise out of you. And then went so far that security had to get involved.

I hope this assuages your fears about what others at the bar may be thinking! Let this be validation that you are in the right (as others have pointed out, this should be obvious, but it sounds like you still had inner doubts/fears -- let them be banished.)

Horace

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Re: What could I say? (Very Long!)
« Reply #48 on: June 03, 2012, 02:03:52 PM »
Woah. Update. I went and she was there. I ignored. She talked her usual brand of rubbish. I sang karate song and went to the.ladies'. Came out and she was there. She tried to talk to me and I said"I don't have time for this, I have to leave." she kept on and on and then yelled in my face. I remained silent...I was shocked. She was led out by security. I left 5 minutes later. Hmmm she's.got issues!!!!

Complete silences are good.


This might be a really stupid question but: why didn't you just leave? I mean you stood there and let her have a go at you and then she shouted in your face? I understand you might have been in shock but I just really don't get this.  I wouldn't have even told her I was leaving, I would have just walked out.  No-one gets to shout at me, not a stranger, friend or partner.

Zilla

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Re: What could I say? (Very Long!)
« Reply #49 on: June 03, 2012, 02:06:32 PM »
Wow, sorry you got so horribly embarrassed like that in a public place.  But I guess she showed her true colors finally.  And if you see her again, turn around and leave. Don't stand there.  Walk forcibly and leave.  If she is in your way, you step around her and walk quickly out.  If she follows you or tries to block you, you say, "I am calling the police" and you take out your cellphone while saying it and while continuing to walk.  Whatever you do, don't stop.

NyaChan

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Re: What could I say? (Very Long!)
« Reply #50 on: June 03, 2012, 03:12:13 PM »
Actually, in this case I think it worked out well that Hollanda stood her ground.  As a result, it was the person behaving badly who was publicly removed by security and not the victim who had to turn and leave the place they wanted to be.  Still, as a safety thing, it may not be best to adopt that method for any future run ins with angry people! 

O'Dell

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Re: What could I say? (Very Long!)
« Reply #51 on: June 03, 2012, 03:59:51 PM »
Actually, in this case I think it worked out well that Hollanda stood her ground.  As a result, it was the person behaving badly who was publicly removed by security and not the victim who had to turn and leave the place they wanted to be.  Still, as a safety thing, it may not be best to adopt that method for any future run ins with angry people!

I too think it worked out well. As for walking away from an angry person, sometimes it's not wise to turn your back on someone like that. It's a judgment call that you have to make in the heat of the moment and hard to second guess.

Hollanda, you are more than justified in giving the woman the cut direct. You were justified once you found out that she was spreading lies about you at the apartment and once again justified in keeping them up when she spread them to your friend.

I've experienced what you fear...I stand up for myself and a witness claims *I'm* the rude one! The solution is to protect yourself and do what you know is right and *then* deal with the person's comment. You can give them an icy stare. You can tell them they don't know they whole story. You can ignore them completely. There are other ways to handle it. I admit sometimes my response to that person isn't all that polite and there may be expletives involved.  :-[ At any rate, Chances are that no one will claim you are rude, and if they do, have your response for that sort of thing at the ready.

I'm glad that the owner of the pub knows what is up with her. I'm surprised that he didn't boot her out when she complained repeatedly.
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.
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Hollanda

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Re: What could I say? (Very Long!)
« Reply #52 on: June 04, 2012, 08:38:42 AM »
She was between me and the door. I was also rooted to the spot. Oh well I doubt I'll be seeing her again.....!!!! On a positive note she made herself look crazy.
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Jocelyn

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Re: What could I say? (Very Long!)
« Reply #53 on: June 04, 2012, 04:45:32 PM »
Hollanda - you live in England, why are you calling Social Services, CPS? Pretty sure people would have understand you if you'd used the correct terms.


Many countries and states within the US have a name for the department that contains their child protective services divisions.  Social workers within those departments will use their division names in order to specify the type of work they do. For example, in my state, you can be a social worker for the Division of Children's Services but not have anything to do with Child Protective Services, although all CPS workers work for DCS.

Hollanda

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Re: What could I say? (Very Long!)
« Reply #54 on: June 04, 2012, 05:29:10 PM »
Hollanda - you live in England, why are you calling Social Services, CPS? Pretty sure people would have understand you if you'd used the correct terms.


Many countries and states within the US have a name for the department that contains their child protective services divisions.  Social workers within those departments will use their division names in order to specify the type of work they do. For example, in my state, you can be a social worker for the Division of Children's Services but not have anything to do with Child Protective Services, although all CPS workers work for DCS.

I explained, I thought in my OP I had put Social Services and then in brackets Child Protection Services.  Lol obviously my fingers were working faster than my brain!  >:D
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Fruit flies like a banana.

Reason

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Re: What could I say? (Very Long!)
« Reply #55 on: June 04, 2012, 06:20:52 PM »
Looks like it worked out really well. Congratulations.