I would find another place to volunteer, for sure because it seems that OV wants to be super in charge of everything over here. That being said, I do not think you came across as a fool in any of these situations. If I had been there, I would have thought of her as pushy and you as someone who wasn't interested in rocking the boat.
However, there is nothing wrong with a little boat rocking. For example, if you had said "I don't think there will be anything wrong in saying, OV we might not have the fees to cover that should we check with someone else?" in the last example.
I agree with all of this.
1) find somewhere else to volunteer. You're not really needed here, and it's frustrating you to deal with someone who isn't willing to make room for you TO feel or be needed.
2) don't make a big stink. You *can* say, "I feel like I'm not all that central to what goes on, and it isn't fun to feel sort of shunted aside. And it seems that OV's style is just to take care of things herself, so I figure I'll just step out of the way."
There are alternate explanations--if I was going to tell you to post something on Facebook, it would probably be easier to just post it myself. It would take 1/4 the time it would take for me to explain it.
If everybody is not liking the schedule (and it does sound like there was a genuine concensus), then the OV was actually right
to go to the coach to see if it could be changed. That's a proactive approach. Presumably the coach would know the state of the finances and whether there's the opportunity to pay for the new practice time, or else the coach would say, "check w/ Mom21Son about the fees first."
I agree about the contact person--that might have been a place for you to speak up and establish your "presence," by saying, "If you actually get so hurt that YOU can't answer questions, we need to be able to use the name on this form to get in touch with your family." You stood there and let that happen. Perhaps you were so focused on being overriden and interrupted, and you were so focused on your conflict w/ OV, that you could only see that. If you can re-focus on the TRUE issue ("what is the purpose of this line on the form, and how do *I* help this team member fill it out properly?"), you might have found yourself able to speak up and "be present."