The Graduation Gimmee Pig

[BeagleMommy]

A coworker of DH has a son who is "graduating" in a few weeks.  I put graduating in quotations because this kid has been nothing but trouble since he was 13.

He was kicked out of traditional school twice and entered an alternative online school.  His mother has been completing his school work for him because he's "too busy" with his girlfriend.

This woman is planning a huge graduation party for this kid and has told DH she has invited 100 people (including us) and expects that everyone invited will give this kid at least $100.00 as a graduation gift.

DH doesn't know what to do.  I say when we get the invite that we RSVP that we won't attend and just use "It won't be possible" if she asks why.

Evil BeagleMommy suggested he send the coworker a graduation card since she did all the work.

[NyaChan]

  hehe I think the card for the mom would be very fitting, but agree, the declined RSVP + not possible would be more polite

[gramma dishes]

Evil BeagleMommy suggested he send the coworker a graduation card since she did all the work.

LOL!

But even SHE doesn't get $100.   

Sometimes it's amazing what people expect other people to do, while at the same time (in this case) expecting so little of her own son.

[NotTheNarcissist]

Unless this co-worker is a manager, I don't see what the problem is. Being a co-irker does not entitle one to expect fellow co-irkers to attend each other's kids graduations. Maybe it's a small office or something where it will stand out if he's the only one who doesn't go... But I would do as you mentioned, not go & afraid that is not possible if pressed for a gift.

This reminds me of my SIL who did her sons homework for him. Sad stuff.

[bloo]

Evil BeagleMommy suggested he send the coworker a graduation card since she did all the work.

I like this!

At the very least, you can teach the 'graduate' who's now attending the 'school of life' that a sense of entitlement will not always work out for you.

Send a congratulatory card and your regrets. I wouldn't send money though.

[Shoo]

I wouldn't even send a card.  I'd simply respond with my regrets and forget about it. 

[SamiHami]

Okay, everyone! All you Ehellions pay attention! I need money so I expect every single one of you to send me $100 right away, so get to it!

How stupid does that sound? I can "expect" anything but that doesn't translate into action on anyone else's part. If she wants her son to have a whole bunch of money for graduation, then she should provide it for him and not try to visit that on anyone else. At the very most I might send him a congratulatory card, but even that is not obligatory.

But, if any of you want to send me $100, please feel free!

[crocodile]

I wouldn't even send a card.  I'd simply respond with my regrets and forget about it.

This!

[Danika]

I would definitely send my regrets. I'd have prior plans to stay home and pick lint out of my belly-button that weekend. Definitely no gift. I'd send a card if it would be better for your DH's career and work environment if he did that.

[kareng57]

I see this as a non-issue.  Co-worker is not the boss, so there would be no real consequence if he does not attend and/or give a gift.

However, I'll admit that as a Canadian my opinion is a bit biased.  Big high-school graduation parties where the parents' friends/co-workers are all invited generally aren't done here anyway.

[jedikaiti]

Polite regrets and a quick e-mail to the "school" that's graduating him, perhaps?

[Ginderette]

Polite regrets and a quick e-mail to the "school" that's graduating him, perhaps?

Oh my, this could be like drop kicking a hornet's nest. After all, it would be prudent to have the right name on the certificate, right? 

[Mysticpizza]

I agree with regrets + ignore. I mean, come on now! Why would you even have to think about it? Don't you have to...(insert obligation here, not that you have to share with anyone.)

[Deetee]

Gimme Pigs tends to get smaller when they are they are never fed. Starving them is really easy too.

[mrkitty]

I'm kind of curious how the co-irker made her expectation be known to everyone. Did she put that helpful information in the invite itself? Verbally announce it?

The reason I ask is because 1. I'm appalled and 2. I'm trying to figure out where she got the nerve to make her expectations be known at all, in terms of a "gift."

Then again, it's really not a gift so much as an invoice.