Author Topic: Friend invited herself to a party  (Read 2634 times)

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suzystumped

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Friend invited herself to a party
« on: May 03, 2007, 04:22:24 PM »
Help!  My new boyfirend is having a birthday party and an old friend of mine asked if she can come.  He doesn't really like her and she and I have drifted apart in recent months (not becuase of him).  How do I tactfully tell her no?

behindbj

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Re: Friend invited herself to a party
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2007, 04:24:40 PM »
"I'm sorry, but Boyfriend is in charge of the guest list."

or

"I'm sorry, but that won't be possible."

behindbj

Sibby

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Re: Friend invited herself to a party
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2007, 04:25:35 PM »
"Sorry the guest list isn't up to me."

"I really think he's already over his limit with all his firends he invited, I don't really think he can fit another person in."

"Actually after you made that snide comment about his mom he kinda finds you annoying, I don't think it's a good idea for you to crash his party."

"It's a swingers party, do you swing?"  [Be sure to hang a rope swing in the yard, so if she speaks with anyone they can confirm there was swinging going on  >:D]

ShadesOfGrey

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Re: Friend invited herself to a party
« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2007, 04:27:29 PM »
"you know, I am not in charge of the guest list, sorry."

"I am not sure what the arrangements are, he might have already given the headcount to _______ [caterer/restaurant/host]"

"you'll have to ask the hostess, I am not sure how big her house is."
Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning. - Maya Angelou

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou

artk2002

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Re: Friend invited herself to a party
« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2007, 05:20:40 PM »
How do I tactfully tell her no?

"No"

It's a complete, polite sentence.  Not tactful, perhaps, but after she tried to invite herself, tact isn't on the table.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

BittyB

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Re: Friend invited herself to a party
« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2007, 05:41:56 PM »
"No." 

If you really feel the need to explain you could tell her it's not an open house party, it's an invite kind of party, and you are not in charge of the guest list.  Some people have preconceived ideas about all adult parties being open house beer drinking events with 50 people you've never even met, regardless of reality.  We had a party several years ago (we were in our early 20's) and a friend who had originally RSVP'd no shows up 3 hours late with 4 uninvited guests ready to drink it up because, hey, it's a Halloween party!  I think his friends were a bit surprised when we opened the door and they could see a party that consisted of a gaggle of 3 to 8 year olds in costume getting ready to go home.  >:(


caranfin

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Re: Friend invited herself to a party
« Reply #6 on: May 03, 2007, 08:09:46 PM »
Does she know he doesn't like her? If so, tell her "Sorry, it's BF's party, and he is picking the guests." That should tell her why she's not invited (she may think you're co-hosting).
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.

Curly Wurly Doggie Breath

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Re: Friend invited herself to a party
« Reply #7 on: May 04, 2007, 02:24:05 AM »
Why does she wish to come ?

Does she feel left out ?
Will she know anyone ?
Is she looking for a new bunch 'O' friends ?

Is she trying to cause trouble ???

Does she know BF doesn't like her or is she oblivious to that fact ?

Just say NO !
No explanations needed.

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