General Etiquette > Life...in general
Really startled me; what can I say if it happens again?
Cutenoob:
BG: I live in a place where we all have our own rooms (think 125 sq ft per room). Common kitchen, common living room etc. We share stuff like magazines, if you're not eating a food you put it in a spot meaning share it, you clean up after yourself.
A guy here has a paper delivered to the building. There have been times that someone brings the paper in and opens/reads it on the table. There are times when the person takes it to his room (the guy that pays for it). But no matter what it's shared.
Couple mornings ago I woke up, and decided to have a quiet breakfast. Cantaloupe and the newspaper. Ahh. Nice.
Then a woman comes in (Paper guy's mom) and comes to the table. She says, "That's Kenny's news paper" and grabs it from me while I'm reading it. Literally, I've got a section open, spread to read, the others are folded up. I'm READING this stuff. She reaches past my face to pull the left part of the paper away and folds it up right in front of me on the table.
Then she says, "I pick up his mail, I'd appreciate it if you don't "...I said, "I was going to read it, and fold it up right here, or put it on his door." I was still holding a piece of it and said, "NO" (about her grabbing it).
She keeps saying "It's Kenny's paper, I'd appreciate it if you don't..."
I asked where is he? (because I know he'd been having some problems within the last few days. (I was going to tell her, send good thoughts from me). She says, "That's between Kenny and I, I'd appreciate it if you don't touch I come here to get his mail and his newspaper."
I was just shocked, jaw dropping shocked. First, it's never been said that nobody else can read the paper. Second, where the heck did she learn that you can take something from right under their nose as they're using it??
Ok. Whether or not I did something wrong, I don't care. I want to know what to say when she does this. Or anyone doing this. I'm using Doohicky, someone takes it out from under me..What are good phrases to say, not "Frack off, lady." or "What the freckles are you DOING?" Anything better?
I think the problem inside of me is that it's really hard for me to even speak when soemthing catches me off guard or confronts me. I have the concept of No, Rude, Not Right, but I can't form the sentences to speak (that are acceptable) to tell them, "Kenny, you need to rinse the plate before you put it in the dishwasher, if you don't everything else gets dirty"..I had said originally "Kenny don't do that" without explaining or elaborating.
Pippen:
Without knowing the tone of the exchange or what Kenny had said to his mother with regards to her picking up his items it is a bit hard to tell. He may well have said 'Ma can you get my mail and pick up the paper. Other people are always getting to it before I am.' or something of the sort. Personally I don't like other people reading my newspaper before I get to it. They turn it inside out and upside down and it bugs the living daylights out of me.
I would have just given it back to her when she asked for it and not been to worried either way. She may well have been in a hurry and not have time to wait for you to finish with it.
snowdragon:
From now on don't touch his stuff. And I mean don't touch it. If it's his and it's on the doorstep move it out of the way but don't bring it in. leave his mail in the box. If he is not there, his guest, mother or not, should not be there and this way she won't have to be.
Cutenoob:
--- Quote from: Pippen on June 04, 2012, 12:00:10 AM ---I would have just given it back to her when she asked for it and not been to worried either way. She may well have been in a hurry and not have time to wait for you to finish with it.
--- End quote ---
She wasn't asking. She was TAKING it. She was reaching past my face to get to the paper and fold it up and take the section I was currently reading from my space.
TheVapors:
"Actually, ma'am, Kenny is OK with sharing the newspaper. Just as we share things with him. I'd appreciate it if you never grab anything out of my hands, again, and instead ask politely."
I can see why this woman was confused. She probably doesn't understand the house rules. She's there to grab her son's mail & newspaper. Probably thought she could just grab stuff and go, and there is someone reading the newspaper. In her mind it was like ... opening his mail. She likely had no idea that the newspaper was a "common use" item.
Added to the "unknown" is the fact that her son is having some problems. She's probably just thinking about taking care of whatever needs to be taken care of.
Maybe it is best to just let his mail (and therefore his newspaper) just sit for however long he will be away. Even though it's usually shared, it can't be shared in the same way if he's not there to use it. So, for the duration of his leave, I'd just buy myself a newspaper if I wanted one.
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