General Etiquette > Life...in general

Really startled me; what can I say if it happens again?

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Shopaholic:
"I'm sorry, for the last X months we've been sharing the paper. I'd appreciate it if you don't snatch it out of my hands. How about I clarify it with Kenny next time I speak to him?"

TheVapors beat me to it.

gollymolly2:
It was rude of her to grab it out from under you.  That's true whether or not her underlying request was reasonable (I happen to think it was but,  like I said, not relevant, she shouldn't have snatched it. The easiest way to deal with her in the future is to avoid interacting with her - don't take his paper and you should be fine.

Pippen:

--- Quote from: Cutenoob on June 04, 2012, 12:03:19 AM ---
--- Quote from: Pippen on June 04, 2012, 12:00:10 AM ---I would have just given it back to her when she asked for it and not been to worried either way. She may well have been in a hurry and not have time to wait for you to finish with it.

--- End quote ---
She wasn't asking. She was TAKING it. She was reaching past my face to get to the paper and fold it up and take the section I was currently reading from my space.

--- End quote ---

In that case when she said 'That's Kenny's newspaper' I would have said 'Oh, I was just having a read of it but here you go.' Some people don't have the best way of phrasing requests, esp if they are stressed or in a hurry. If he has gone awol for a couple of days and needs his mother to deal with his personal items he could be very unwell or have other personal things going on which may have made her behaviour come across as quite brusque. Either way I would be leaving the newspaper alone and advising the others in the building to do so as well so you don't have to deal with her again.

lovepickles:

--- Quote from: TheVapors on June 04, 2012, 12:03:28 AM ---"Actually, ma'am, Kenny is OK with sharing the newspaper. Just as we share things with him. I'd appreciate it if you never grab anything out of my hands, again, and instead ask politely."

I can see why this woman was confused. She probably doesn't understand the house rules. She's there to grab her son's mail & newspaper. Probably thought she could just grab stuff and go, and there is someone reading the newspaper. In her mind it was like ... opening his mail. She likely had no idea that the newspaper was a "common use" item.

Added to the "unknown" is the fact that her son is having some problems. She's probably just thinking about taking care of whatever needs to be taken care of.

Maybe it is best to just let his mail (and therefore his newspaper) just sit for however long he will be away. Even though it's usually shared, it can't be shared in the same way if he's not there to use it. So, for the duration of his leave, I'd just buy myself a newspaper if I wanted one.

--- End quote ---

I agree with this. If it is truly a communal paper or if Kenny was ok with you reading it first then his mom was really out of line. But as someone who used to covet the Sunday New York Times I would only share it with someone very special before I had a chance to take it apart myself. But I can't say I would have snatched it from anyone if they got to it first. She was pretty rude.

But now that his MOTHER has snatched it from you I'd seriously stay away from his stuff. He could just not have the balls to say something and made his mom to the dirty work. If you guys are close you could tell him about it. Like "Hey your mom got really angry and took the paper out of my hands when she saw me reading it. Do you feel the same way ... because I had no idea it was an issue." If he apologizes then you know his mom is insane but he is agrees with her in the slightest then you know she might have been doing his dirty work.

Bijou:
The woman certainly is rude.
My first thought:  How on earth did she know it was his newspaper and not yours? 

If you are talking about future incidents with the newspaper, I would avoid touching his paper in the future.  And would probably let others who might read it know that this is no longer allowed according to his mother, whom he apparently has put in charge of his things.  That will at least spare them having a similar experience.

Asking where he is when you know he is having problems it may not have been the best thing to do, especially in light of the bad exchange you just had with his mother.  It sound like she caught you totally off guard and you didn't know what to say. 

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