Your thoughts on: "I'm leaving this thread."

[Virg]

TheVapors wrote:

"No one I know has ever left an IRL conversation by going, "I'm leaving this conversation now.""

When you're in real life, this sort of statment isn't necessary because you can exit for real.  The empty space where the person once stood is indication enough.  In an online forum, however, if one leaves nobody knows it, so if you wish to exit while making sure the other posters know you won't be returning, you have to post something to that effect.

Virg

[rachellenore]

If you're debating with someone then there is no other way to get across the point that you no longer wish to discuss something with them than by saying you're leaving.

And as others have said, this exists in real life as well. You wouldn't bean dip a debate thread since that would be off-topic.

[TheVapors]

TheVapors wrote:

"No one I know has ever left an IRL conversation by going, "I'm leaving this conversation now.""

When you're in real life, this sort of statment isn't necessary because you can exit for real.  The empty space where the person once stood is indication enough.  In an online forum, however, if one leaves nobody knows it, so if you wish to exit while making sure the other posters know you won't be returning, you have to post something to that effect.

Virg

Thank you. Yes, that was my point in typing that. It's not necessary in real life. So how does it come across when it is typed out in a forum.

Maybe I shouldn't have included anything about a comparison, because I didn't post this while wondering about why one would do that online vs IRL ways one might extract oneself from a conversation.

Merely about thoughts on posting about leaving a thread on various forums...online only. The usefulness it might have in some situations, or rather if it's just leaving in a huff or more noticeable due to the fact that it must be written out.

ETA: I've gotten some wonderful and varied responses from people giving their thoughts on leaving threads and whether or not they post that they're leaving a thread in different situations. I didn't want this to turn into a "Well, duh, TheVapors stuff like that happens all the time IRL" as that wasn't what I was going for in my OP in the slightest.

I was simply talking about online forums, and how people leave threads.

[Mikayla]

I just leave the thread without comment.  And the reason has to do with "let's agree to disagree".   This sounds perfectly reasonable, but it seems in many cases, people say it *after* they've just rebutted something.  So to me, it's no different than if you started your post by saying "I need to rebut what you just said, but then I'm checking out".

That's why I just stop posting in the thread.  There's a risk, I guess, that it looks like I walked away in the middle or I'm avoiding a question, and that's certainly not how I behave IRL.  In fact, I own the last word! But in this forum, if I've said all I have to say, I just take that risk.

[Piratelvr1121]

I've said it, rarely, but in a kind of, "I am not ignoring you, I won't be looking at this thread to see any posts addressed to me any more" way.

That is how i mostly see it used, and i see nothing rude about it.
I have definitely used, "I am ending this conversation" or "This conversation is over" in real life.

I've used that on several occasions with my kids when they're trying to debate a rule or consequence of breaking one.

[Allyson]

I think it is almost always unnecessary. Most people only post on a thread once or twice, and do not come back to it, and there is no need for commentary on the matter. It seems a little bit self-centered, as though the poster thinks that everyone is waiting for their reply. It is drawing attention to the fact that they are gone, whereas if they just had stopped posting, people would probably not have noticed.

There are a few exceptions to this, but for the most part it just seems to be making a point that you are not happy with the direction the thread is going, or are upset in some way. People do not go around to every thread they stop posting in if they, say, go on a business trip. It just makes me think of that thing people do where they talk so much about how they do not care it becomes obvious they do care.

[Nemesis]

Unless you are the OP, I think such a statement is very unnecessary. This statement is particularly annoying if the poster was previously in a heated argument with another poster. If one wants to leave the thread, one leaves it gracefully. One does not need to announce one's departure so as to make a dramatic exit. It is needless and, in my humble opinion, quite inflammatory.

Of course, if the OP does not wish to reply in a heated thread any longer, the OP could ask the forum moderator to simply lock the thread without making any dramatic statements.

[Diane AKA Traska]

I have posted things like "You know what?  You're not changing your mind, I'm not changing my mind, I'm going to bow out, see you around."  It's not to be dramatic, or to get attention, or for people to ask me to stay.  It's basically because usually, I'm one of two to four participants, and if I were to drop off of the face of the Earth, it would be noticed.  It's a case of "just so you don't think I just walked away, here's me actually leaving".  It just seems courteous not to leave a debate partner hanging.

[StarFaerie]

Depends on how it's said. If it's a "I don't think this argument is going anywhere so I'm out" kind of sentiment then it's all good and I respect the poster for it. But if it's a "Here's a parting shot and now I'm leaving so you can't rebut my argument or lack thereof" or a "I'm all hurt, boo-hoo, and now I'm flouncing from this thread" type sentiment then it is LOL-worthy and that's the response they'll get from me, at least internally but sometimes posted also, depending on the forum.

[lmyrs]

Exactly. There is a big difference between:

"Let's agree to disagree. I don't think we'll ever convince eachother."

and

"Here's another iteration of why I'm right and you are not. But, we're not going to agree so bye."

The second one takes a "parting shot" in that you ensure that you are getting the last word. It shuts down the debate but only after you've gotten your points in one more time. It's immature and unneccessary.

[AnnaJane]

I've also done this one or two times when discussions on other forums became too much. You have to know when to walk away sometimes, when remaining in the debate will only lead to anger on your part, but will not convince your opponent. For little things it may be unnecessary and over-dramatic to make such a post but in my case, the posts were so hate-filled and disturbing that it wasn't worth it to keep arguing.

[MariaE]

Exactly. There is a big difference between:

"Let's agree to disagree. I don't think we'll ever convince eachother."

and

"Here's another iteration of why I'm right and you are not. But, we're not going to agree so bye."

I've done the former and had the other person come back with "Can I take your leaving as you being unable to refute my arguments?" Oooooohboy it took ALL my self control not to respond to that one! It's been a couple of days now and I'm still steamed.

[Venus193]

Some idiot on a TV board really irritated me with his ignorance and I finally decided it was a waste of my time to respond to him, so I said so.  He then attempted to goad me by saying I was running away because he was "calling me out."  Since when are forums supposed to be duels?  I checked his posting history and saw he was a troll. 

BTW, that was his last post on that board.

[Hijinks]

That's why I never revisit the thread after I say I'm leaving.  To keep going back and checking the responses negates the reason that I left in the first place.

Recently I got into an argument in a FB thread and someone seemed to be really mad at me for reasons that I couldn't really fathom when I was just being honest about my views.  So I just said "You seem to be mad at me so I'll just bow out now."  Haven't been back to look at it.  I figured if they wanted to continue to bash me, they could, but since I said I wouldn't be back, it would be kind of silly for them to do so.  But that's on them.

[MariaE]

That's usually what I do as well, but I had forgotten I got emailed the comments there.