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Author Topic: Wedding Gift inequality  (Read 7125 times)

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apple

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Re: Wedding Gift inequality
« Reply #15 on: June 08, 2012, 07:54:30 AM »
I'm coming in late to this question, but we have faced this same situation, and we treat all of our nieces and nephews identically.

When cash is a gift (and it usually is for us), I think it's especially important. It would be impossible to camouflage inequalities.

One thing that influences me is that the parents of these nieces and nephews love and value them, and wouldn't want to see one favored over the other.

If you have a closer relationship with a few, you can continue that by showing interest in their plans, talking to them about the event, etc.


« Last Edit: June 08, 2012, 08:28:34 AM by apple »

kudeebee

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Re: Wedding Gift inequality
« Reply #16 on: June 08, 2012, 10:12:30 PM »
Let me ask you this.  If you say one you aren't close to on the street without one of his parents, would he recognize you or would you recognize him?

I think it is fine to give the ones you are closer to a bigger present than the one that you rarely see.  You can do it moneywise or by selecting an additional gift from their registry.

HenrysMom

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Re: Wedding Gift inequality
« Reply #17 on: June 09, 2012, 09:54:48 AM »
Let me ask you this.  If you say one you aren't close to on the street without one of his parents, would he recognize you or would you recognize him?

I think it is fine to give the ones you are closer to a bigger present than the one that you rarely see.  You can do it moneywise or by selecting an additional gift from their registry.

This.

chicajojobe

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Re: Wedding Gift inequality
« Reply #18 on: June 09, 2012, 07:10:00 PM »
It doesn't even have to be entirely equal, but, for example, giving one couple a trip to Hawaii, and the other a toaster is asking for trouble. So I'd say just not too big a gap between gifts, but you can give the couple you know better a somewhat unequal gift (be it in terms of cost or sentimental value) is acceptable, just keep it within reason!

gramma dishes

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Re: Wedding Gift inequality
« Reply #19 on: June 09, 2012, 08:49:17 PM »
...   I gift a bit more to fancier weddings ...

Just curious.  Why?

gramma dishes

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Re: Wedding Gift inequality
« Reply #20 on: June 09, 2012, 08:52:39 PM »
I'm coming in late to this question, but we have faced this same situation, and we treat all of our nieces and nephews identically.

When cash is a gift (and it usually is for us), I think it's especially important. It would be impossible to camouflage inequalities.

One thing that influences me is that the parents of these nieces and nephews love and value them, and wouldn't want to see one favored over the other.

If you have a closer relationship with a few, you can continue that by showing interest in their plans, talking to them about the event, etc.

We do the same thing for the same reason.  We have three nieces and three nephews.  We gave each of them the same amount of money for their weddings.  The only adjustment we made was that the very last wedding was several years after all the others so we added $25 as a kind of acknowledgement of a "cost of living" increase.   :-\

johelenc1

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Re: Wedding Gift inequality
« Reply #21 on: June 11, 2012, 10:29:12 PM »
There's no way that giving the kids different amounts of money is going to end well.  I would give them the same amount of cash gift and then take the ones you are most close to out for a special dinner or send a special additional "after the honeymoon" or "housewarming" or "three month anniversary" tangible gift as well.  If it arrives after the wedding in non wedding paper and with a non wedding card, the kids who get them might not think to mention them to the others.