You see, I've always been of the opinion that when you lend a friend money, you don't as a result have the right to micromanage their finances until they pay you back. However, I usually also expect clear terms from the beginning which aren't present in the current story. When I used the words "luxuries" in this case, I meant anything that isn't the cheapest possible option. As an example: this friend is out of the house running errands, gets really hungry - I don't think she should have to stay hungry until she gets home rather than buy a snack because her friend told her they'd work something out for rent this month. Again, what is happening here is a little different, but at the same time, I think the OP's failure to make her expectations clear is what is making the situation more difficult. I say that because I've seen a situation where something similar happened.
My uncle filed for bankruptcy and had a wife and 3 small children. He was losing his first house and couldn't qualify for another loan with his bad financial history. My dad sat him down and told him - I will put the down payment out on a house that we pick out together and the loan will be in my name. Every month you will put money in this account which I will use to pay the mortgage. You cannot miss any payments. If there are exigent circumstances, like you lose another job or there are medical problems, you can pay a larger amount the next month that you are able to make up for it." Key things 1) Dad could afford to pay the payments himself if Uncle pulled a nutty on him 2) He and my mom made an agreement between the two of them that as long as the payments were made, it was none of their business what my Uncle and his wife spent money on (they had extravagant habits for their income). Shortly after this was put in place, my dad's resolve was tested - he hears that my uncle is buying tickets to go to India for a month for his wife? Dad didn't say a word. Uncle buys his kids an expensive gaming system? Dad didn't say a word. End of the month when the mortgage money was paid in full? Clapped Uncle on the back with pride.
I guess here I was applying this approach since it appears that OP never told the friend how or when she wanted the money - so we don't know that the friend is actually defaulting on the loan in favor of fun things. Maybe she is cutting costs elsewhere, maybe she doesn't think she does have to pay OP back - and OP, when you talk to her, if you are setting up a payment schedule, don't tell her you don't need the money otherwise it undermines your position that you ought to be paid - unless the OP said, I need this by the end of the June and come July 1st she is unable to pay you, I don't think you can say just yet that she is dodging her responsibilities.
