Fathers day and my coworker

[still in va]

I guess I will chalk this up to a lesson.  Fathers day is for the Male gender and Mothers day is for the female gender?

Got it!  I hope I don't offend my childless friends.

I don't think ANY of us said this is true, or even that we necessarily agree with her. We just don't understand why you're so upset about it, and we think you should just internally roll your eyes at her.

PODing Toots. 

[lmyrs]

OP, I don't think anyone is saying that your Coworker is absolutely right in her thinking. I think she's over the top and I wouldn't give a fathers day gift to my son either. But, I don't understand why you're so angry about it. Just don't buy your son a gift. Unless she's somehow forcing you to do something against your will, I don't think it's rude of her to make the suggestion.

I think you just need to let it go. It's really not that big of a deal. If she starts harrassing you about it, then that's a different thread.

[miranova]

Well for what it's worth I think your coworker is a nut.  My 11 year old son still needs a reminder to brush his teeth.  He hasn't done anything remotely "fatherly" so the thought of wishing HIM a Happy Father's day is very, VERY odd to me and I don't think I'd be able to hide the indredulous look on my face.

However, this would just cause me to privately laugh about it, roll my eyes, and tell my husband the funny story that happened at work today.  I think most people in this thread are just confused at your reaction.  Just laugh it off.  I just don't understand why it actually upsets you that your coworker is a little nutty. 

[Lady Godiva]

Does your co-worker work for the greeting card industry? Or perhaps she has stock in H***mark!

[purplemuse]

Last year for Mother's Day, my church gave out booklets to all the grown ladies titled "Are we not all mothers?" IIRC, it makes the point that through volunteer work, community responsibilities, friendships and family ties, all women can make a difference in a child's life. It leaned very religiously (God endowed women as His secret weapon in this world), but I thought it was sweet of them.

They didn't give out anything for Father's Day.

Different strokes, I guess, because I would find that really offensive.

[Jones]

I apologize if it sounds offensive. In the religion in which I was raised, women are taught the greatest achievement is motherhood (for men it’s fatherhood). I don’t want to go into a ton of detail here. I’ve moved away from a lot of the religion, attending meetings about once a month (nothing else has fit right for me—another story altogether) but my mind does still slip into the “of course people who aren’t able to be a parent would feel reassured to find out they are doing something for the next generation” mode of thought. I apologize for that, I don't mean to offend anyone by not catching this thought as an "interesting assumption."

I do hope no one who received the booklet was offended. I guarantee that, the way this religion teaches, it was meant to be a kindness.

This year they handed out wooden plaques.

[MOM21SON]

I guess i got all worked up because she was hinting about how wrong I was.  Oh and she is a little nutty considering she also picked up a gift for her grandson who is 1!  Yes she did state it was for fathers day, cuz he is male.

[hobish]

I guess i got all worked up because she was hinting about how wrong I was.  Oh and she is a little nutty considering she also picked up a gift for her grandson who is 1!  Yes she did state it was for fathers day, cuz he is male.

Yes, if she wants to celebrate it in he own weird way (and that is certainly different) then no big. Telling you that you need to get something for your kid and what are you doing you're dong it wrong, i would be annoyed, too. Sometimes when we work with people every day and have to see them all the time like it or not, their little *things* can get annoying even if they have nothing to do with us.

...or me, anyway. Maybe it is just the dinosaur getting all crankypants

ETA: I would not want to be included in Mother's Day, either. I have worked hard to not be a mom, gosh-darnit!Have some respect!

[Sophia]

I think it is ridiculuous.  Mother's Day and Father's Day is between children and their parents.  I won't be saying "Happy Father's Day" to be cubicle neighbor just because he has kids (9 of them).  But, I will acknowledge my father.  When my daughter is a little older, probably next year when she is 3, I will help her do something for her daddy. 

[purplemuse]

I apologize if it sounds offensive. In the religion in which I was raised, women are taught the greatest achievement is motherhood (for men it’s fatherhood). I don’t want to go into a ton of detail here. I’ve moved away from a lot of the religion, attending meetings about once a month (nothing else has fit right for me—another story altogether) but my mind does still slip into the “of course people who aren’t able to be a parent would feel reassured to find out they are doing something for the next generation” mode of thought. I apologize for that, I don't mean to offend anyone by not catching this thought as an "interesting assumption."

I do hope no one who received the booklet was offended. I guarantee that, the way this religion teaches, it was meant to be a kindness.

This year they handed out wooden plaques.

If it brings comfort and happiness to someone, I think that's great for them-- your church sounds like it would be the right place for it (as long as the idea of the ultimate achievement really is shared by the whole church). I think anyone who wants to consider themselves a mother or father should do so.

But equally, I've actively chosen not to be a mother, and I feel like the whole "every woman is a mother" attitude disrespects my choice. It's kind of the flip side of being told "You're not a real parent"  because your child is adopted.

[Giggity]

Does your co-worker work for the greeting card industry? Or perhaps she has stock in H***mark!

You can say Hallmark.

[MOM21SON]

lol.  Just odd, very odd.

[FlyingBaconMouse]

When I was a child, I did once get a Mother's Day card from the family dog (who knew she was so smart?  ), so I don't think this sort of thing is completely rigid, but giving a Mother's Day/Father's Day gift to someone who has no (for want of a better word) "child object" seems really strange. Maybe even stranger than a Yorkie-tzu with the same handwriting as my mom... 

[KenveeB]

When I was a child, I did once get a Mother's Day card from the family dog (who knew she was so smart?  ), so I don't think this sort of thing is completely rigid, but giving a Mother's Day/Father's Day gift to someone who has no (for want of a better word) "child object" seems really strange. Maybe even stranger than a Yorkie-tzu with the same handwriting as my mom... 

My dogs and cats get me a present every year. They tell me I deserve it, and who am I to argue?   But I am their mother, or a mother-figure. I don't have a problem with anyone celebrating someone who is a mother/father figure to them instead of strict biology. It's the "every woman is a mother/every man is a father" that irritates me.

[Shabooty]

I got an Outkast CD from my Golden Retriever one year.