General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

"Dumb" insolence

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ishka:
I am looking for an etiquette approved way of dealing with a person at work who is pushing me to the point where I'm afraid I'm going to do or say something that will condemn me to etiquette hell.

This person is 30 years old, exceptionally well-paid and in a position which should be one of responsibility, and she acts like the worst stereotype of a 15 year old girl with a severe attitude problem.  I will give two examples but believe me when I say that every interaction with her is like this.

Example One
We are at a manager's staff meeting.  She walks in late, crunching on a carrot ( a big carrot, not a carrot stick).  The chair of the meeting asks if she could finish up her lunch so that we can get on with the meeting.  She rolls her eyes and says "I finished my lunch hours ago"; the chair says "OK, well could you put the carrot away?" "This is not my lunch, I don't eat carrots for lunch, this is my snack (crunch, crunch,crunch)"  "I don't really care, just get rid of the carrot" "But you said finish your lunch, this is not my lunch... Oh alright then (big sigh) I suppose we're not allowed to have snacks now, I'll make sure everyone knows this is a new rule..."

Example Two
I am an accountant; part of my job is to monitor expenses and to ensure, where possible, that we stay within budget.  Part of her job is to forward invoices to me for payment, after checking that all paperwork is in order and that we have actually received what we are being asked to pay for.
There have been a number of times when I have had to query things that she has authorised as she has a habit of letting things pile up and then going on a mad 'authorisation spree" where she just initials everything as OK to get it off her desk.  These queries are never well received and there is a very strong implication that I am wasting her valuable time, it is important to note that these queries relate to hundreds, and sometimes thousands of dollars.
Last week she forwarded an invoice on which nothing had been checked, there were obvious large issues with what we were being asked to pay and she wrote on the invoice " One of the contractors has rounded up his time by .09 of an hour (ie 5 mins); I am drawing this to your attention because I know this kind of thing is very important to you".

I am at my wit's end with this woman; every conversation with her consists of her twirling her hair, rolling her eyes and letting out deep sighs.  Everything is soooo boring and beneath her attention, every query is so petty.  She will do the most outrageously stupid things (eg close 2 hours early because she has been told that  having 4 people at work to do the work of one has caused staff costs to get out of control) and then say "But you said staff costs were too high (or whatever), I'm just doing what you said, are you saying that I shouldn't try and save money?"

Anyway, this is turning into a rant which is boring for you and was not my intention.  How do I handle this?  If she rolls her eyes at me one more time I'm on the verge of telling her to go to her room and that she's grounded for a month.

jedikaiti:
1) document. Print off the emails and keep hard copies.
2) Can you talk to her boss?

ishka:
I have been trying to document.  The problem is that she is very selective in which emails she will respond to.  If it doesn't suit her she will just ignore the email, which means I have to speak to her in person and there is no record.

I have started writing confirmation emails after these conversations eg " R - to confirm, I am not overly concerned with 5 mins rounding up, I believe this was an honest mistake and is easily rectified. Thank you for drawing it to my attention.  I am however very concerned that you are allowing hundreds of dollars of potential over-payments because you are not checking invoices before passing them for payment"

The trouble with this is that she will bring up the first part of the email as me saying that I am not concerned with overcharging by contractors and ignore the second part completely.   I probably should not have put the first part in but I was insulted and I was angry that she diminishes my responsibilities to being about nit-picking about the odd $5.

I have spoken to her boss.  I think her boss is part of the problem;  they have a very strange dynamic where R behaves like a teenager and her boss scolds her like a child without seeming to realise that the behaviour has very real implications for the business.

Venus193:
You need to continue to document.  If you can determine company losses caused by her behavior, calculate them.

Would it be possible to go over her boss's head? 

QueenofAllThings:
Her failure to respond to your email doesn't mean you can't document. Print the email, and jot notes on it.

As in:

1. Sent on 5/5
2. A/O 5/8, no response received. Resent email.
3. See response attached; concern not addressed.

But that's not an etiquette question. To your etiquette question - how to respond to her politely - the answer is to ignore the childish, P/A stuff. Don't pay attention to the hair twirling and eye-rolling - she's trying to distract you from the problem at hand.

You: Please don't close two hours early.
She: Buy you saaaaid to save money.
You: Closing two hours early inconveniences our customers and costs us money.
She: I was just trying to saaaave money and do what you said.
You: We will no longer close two hours early. Excuse me - I have a meeting to get to.

Ditto with her pointing out very small discrepancies'because you care about that kind of thing'. Thank her for pointing it out, and move on.

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