Friend and Diabetes Updated P13, 18, 28, 31 & 36

[BeagleMommy]

One other thing, OP, string cheese is not a free food.  It is a dairy, which means it counts as a carbohydrate.  Carbs are the items that must be watched by diabetics.  Dill pickles are free foods as are most vegetables with the exception of corn, beans and peas.  Bread, rice, pastas, crackers, dairy and fruits are all carbohydrates.  That's why he needs the fruit juice when his BG goes low.  Carbs are a quick lift to BGs, but too many carbs and you end up with a high.

[JustRhon]

One other thing, OP, string cheese is not a free food.  It is a dairy, which means it counts as a carbohydrate.  Carbs are the items that must be watched by diabetics.  Dill pickles are free foods as are most vegetables with the exception of corn, beans and peas.  Bread, rice, pastas, crackers, dairy and fruits are all carbohydrates.  That's why he needs the fruit juice when his BG goes low.  Carbs are a quick lift to BGs, but too many carbs and you end up with a high.

I'm shocked to hear that about string cheese. I had never looked at the nutritional info because his mom told me it was a free food for him. There are days he eats 10 packs of string cheese one after the other. I knew that carbs were the 'enemy' but I had honestly never thought to look at the cheese. He won't eat any vegs, raw or cooked. My youngest will eat lettuce and carrots all day long but L won't touch them.

[wolfie]

One other thing, OP, string cheese is not a free food.  It is a dairy, which means it counts as a carbohydrate.  Carbs are the items that must be watched by diabetics.  Dill pickles are free foods as are most vegetables with the exception of corn, beans and peas.  Bread, rice, pastas, crackers, dairy and fruits are all carbohydrates.  That's why he needs the fruit juice when his BG goes low.  Carbs are a quick lift to BGs, but too many carbs and you end up with a high.

I'm shocked to hear that about string cheese. I had never looked at the nutritional info because his mom told me it was a free food for him. There are days he eats 10 packs of string cheese one after the other. I knew that carbs were the 'enemy' but I had honestly never thought to look at the cheese. He won't eat any vegs, raw or cooked. My youngest will eat lettuce and carrots all day long but L won't touch them.

I think this is a good reason to stop allowing L to stay overnight. His mom isn't even telling you the correct information about his condition - you could be complying with her every word and he could still have a medical issue because she gave you the wrong information. This is a bigger responsibility then anyone has a right to ask you to take on. I would hand it back to her and let her know that until things get under control you can't take the chance of him having a medical emergency.

[JustRhon]

I agree with rashea. If you absolutely do not want to enforce what he will eat at your house, do not stock his preferred items for him. Tell his mom to bring only what he should eat that evening before bedtime (with no leftovers) and serve what she brings. If the frozen chicken, pizza, and fries aren't there for him to heat up, he simply cannot gorge on them.

You really do have to do something before a tragic incident occurs. If it did, it wouldn't be your fault, but you would still feel bad about it. Mom and L are taking no responsibility and placing it all on you. Give it back.

I'm willing to control what he eats if I can just figure out how. If frozen foods weren't his binge foods it would be much easier. His mom doesn't bring his foods with him. I shop and pay for what he eats here. I wish I could keep just what he needs daily on hand but that would be very difficult. If I get him spur of the moment when his mom works evenings that means he shows up about 5, which is when I am usually cooking and right before his evening meal time. I just wouldn't have time to hit the store for his dinner and evening snack.

I'm working on an email now that I'd like to run by you all before I send.

[Piratelvr1121]

One other thing, OP, string cheese is not a free food.  It is a dairy, which means it counts as a carbohydrate.  Carbs are the items that must be watched by diabetics.  Dill pickles are free foods as are most vegetables with the exception of corn, beans and peas.  Bread, rice, pastas, crackers, dairy and fruits are all carbohydrates.  That's why he needs the fruit juice when his BG goes low.  Carbs are a quick lift to BGs, but too many carbs and you end up with a high.

I'm shocked to hear that about string cheese. I had never looked at the nutritional info because his mom told me it was a free food for him. There are days he eats 10 packs of string cheese one after the other. I knew that carbs were the 'enemy' but I had honestly never thought to look at the cheese. He won't eat any vegs, raw or cooked. My youngest will eat lettuce and carrots all day long but L won't touch them.

I think this is a good reason to stop allowing L to stay overnight. His mom isn't even telling you the correct information about his condition - you could be complying with her every word and he could still have a medical issue because she gave you the wrong information. This is a bigger responsibility then anyone has a right to ask you to take on. I would hand it back to her and let her know that until things get under control you can't take the chance of him having a medical emergency.

POD. I was surprised too when it was said that cheese sticks were a free food, cause I was pretty sure they weren't.  Especially not in that quantity! Yikes!  That's honestly really scary that the mother herself is either very misinformed about healthy choices for her son or she's lying to you.  Either way, it's not a good position for you to be in.

[kckgirl]

I agree with rashea. If you absolutely do not want to enforce what he will eat at your house, do not stock his preferred items for him. Tell his mom to bring only what he should eat that evening before bedtime (with no leftovers) and serve what she brings. If the frozen chicken, pizza, and fries aren't there for him to heat up, he simply cannot gorge on them.

You really do have to do something before a tragic incident occurs. If it did, it wouldn't be your fault, but you would still feel bad about it. Mom and L are taking no responsibility and placing it all on you. Give it back.

I'm willing to control what he eats if I can just figure out how. If frozen foods weren't his binge foods it would be much easier. His mom doesn't bring his foods with him. I shop and pay for what he eats here. I wish I could keep just what he needs daily on hand but that would be very difficult. If I get him spur of the moment when his mom works evenings that means he shows up about 5, which is when I am usually cooking and right before his evening meal time. I just wouldn't have time to hit the store for his dinner and evening snack.

I'm working on an email now that I'd like to run by you all before I send.

But you really can put the responsibility for having his food on hand right back where it belongs, on his mother. You don't have to go buy something for him. She can bring it with her when she drops him off, and tell her you don't want any more than what he needs for the evening. Her schedule isn't a surprise for her. She can do the shopping and paying, like she should, and bring his evening food with her. It would also help her control what he eats. If all the meal/snack items are gone at bedtime, as they should be, and you know he won't eat anything else, he won't binge.

[Sharnita]

I agree, stock what you feed your family.  If he refuses to eat it - regretfully inform his mom that you won't be able to have him stay over because he doesn't eat the food you provide your family and you aren't feeding him different food.  He will probably decide that he doesn't want to come over because he isn't being indulged and that will solve your problem.

[wyliefool]

I agree with rashea. If you absolutely do not want to enforce what he will eat at your house, do not stock his preferred items for him. Tell his mom to bring only what he should eat that evening before bedtime (with no leftovers) and serve what she brings. If the frozen chicken, pizza, and fries aren't there for him to heat up, he simply cannot gorge on them.

You really do have to do something before a tragic incident occurs. If it did, it wouldn't be your fault, but you would still feel bad about it. Mom and L are taking no responsibility and placing it all on you. Give it back.

I'm willing to control what he eats if I can just figure out how. If frozen foods weren't his binge foods it would be much easier. His mom doesn't bring his foods with him. I shop and pay for what he eats here. I wish I could keep just what he needs daily on hand but that would be very difficult. If I get him spur of the moment when his mom works evenings that means he shows up about 5, which is when I am usually cooking and right before his evening meal time. I just wouldn't have time to hit the store for his dinner and evening snack.

I'm working on an email now that I'd like to run by you all before I send.

But you really can put the responsibility for having his food on had right back where it belongs, on his mother. You don't have to go buy something for him. She can bring it with her when she drops him off, and tell her you don't want any more than what he needs for the evening. Her schedule isn't a surprise for her. She can do the shopping and paying, like she should, and bring his evening food with her. It would also help her control what he eats. If all the meal/snack items are gone at bedtime, as they should be, and you know he won't eat anything else, he won't binge.

This. Especially the underlined. And if she doesn't bring his food, then he either eats what you're making for dinner or goes hungry. Hide a box of granola bars or something to elevate his blood sugar if needed, but this is really beyond the pale. And that she blames you when something goes wrong? I'm sorry but she wouldn't be my friend anymore. 

[kckgirl]

You sounded above like you can't change anything, but you can. It is NOT your responsibility to buy and pay for his preferred food. You're already doing his mom a huge favor by letting him stay over, and for free. Make her reponsible for his food, and tell her to only bring enough for the evening and nothing more. You can do this.

[JustRhon]

One other thing, OP, string cheese is not a free food.  It is a dairy, which means it counts as a carbohydrate.  Carbs are the items that must be watched by diabetics.  Dill pickles are free foods as are most vegetables with the exception of corn, beans and peas.  Bread, rice, pastas, crackers, dairy and fruits are all carbohydrates.  That's why he needs the fruit juice when his BG goes low.  Carbs are a quick lift to BGs, but too many carbs and you end up with a high.

I'm shocked to hear that about string cheese. I had never looked at the nutritional info because his mom told me it was a free food for him. There are days he eats 10 packs of string cheese one after the other. I knew that carbs were the 'enemy' but I had honestly never thought to look at the cheese. He won't eat any vegs, raw or cooked. My youngest will eat lettuce and carrots all day long but L won't touch them.

I think this is a good reason to stop allowing L to stay overnight. His mom isn't even telling you the correct information about his condition - you could be complying with her every word and he could still have a medical issue because she gave you the wrong information. This is a bigger responsibility then anyone has a right to ask you to take on. I would hand it back to her and let her know that until things get under control you can't take the chance of him having a medical emergency.

POD. I was surprised too when it was said that cheese sticks were a free food, cause I was pretty sure they weren't.  Especially not in that quantity! Yikes!  That's honestly really scary that the mother herself is either very misinformed about healthy choices for her son or she's lying to you.  Either way, it's not a good position for you to be in.

To be honest, I'm really upset about this. I've picked up my phone countless times in the last few mins to call and confront her. I'd like to think she is just misinformed but I suspect it is some sort of 'compromise' she has reach with L and I don't appreciate being lied to about it. Being told that I have unknowingly put his health on the line does not sit well with me. I've done my best to be here for R. I've watched L anytime she asked. I not only haven't charged her a penny but I've paid for everything he needs while here. All I've asked is that she help me keep him safe while here and it turns that out that I've been lied to and used to help him do just the opposite.

Maybe I'm overreacting but I'm really upset right now. Or maybe cheese was just the straw that broke the camels back.

[Jones]

Drink a coke and write an email.

Then post the email here.

Don't call her while you are angry; BTDT and always regretted it.

[kckgirl]

Maybe I'm overreacting but I'm really upset right now. Or maybe cheese was just the straw that broke the camels back.

(((JustRhon)))

I'm pretty sure finding out about the cheese was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'd still write an email because you're probably too emotional to have a good conversation about it all. Writing it out is cathartic and will help you say everything you want to say without forgetting. If you still want to talk to her, ask her to call you to figure something out after she has read the email. If she's angry and says you're not her friend, you probably haven't been for awhile now. You're just the nice, convenient person she's using. I hope that isn't the case.

[JustRhon]

Maybe I'm overreacting but I'm really upset right now. Or maybe cheese was just the straw that broke the camels back.

(((JustRhon)))

I'm pretty sure finding out about the cheese was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'd still write an email because you're probably too emotional to have a good conversation about it all. Writing it out is cathartic and will help you say everything you want to say without forgetting. If you still want to talk to her, ask her to call you to figure something out after she has read the email. If she's angry and says you're not her friend, you probably haven't been for awhile now. You're just the nice, convenient person she's using. I hope that isn't the case.

I'm working on the email but I keep having to delete and take breaks. We've been friends since right after my son turned 4, he'll be 12 next month so it would be really hard to find out she is just using me. I don't make close friends easily, I'm more of a give me a book and a quiet spot person but I've tried to be there for R in every way. L really is like a son to me. I've watched him and my baby go from Pre K to up and coming 7th graders and they've done it together every step of the way. 

Idk, I'm just blown away about the cheese and really emotional. It has to sound stupid that cheese has me in tears but I guess it really was the last straw for me. Thanks for being so understanding.

[Piratelvr1121]

No it doesn't sound stupid it all, it makes complete sense to me, and in all honesty I would be furious in your shoes because it really does read like she lied to you and put you in a position to put this boy's health on the line.  Especially when she blames you?    And I think it's safe to say most of us here sympathize with you completely. 

And I think I'd be hurt too, if I were in your shoes, cause it would be very hard to look at how this situation has played out and not feel used. 

[ishka]

I think you're in a terrible situation and I think you've been given some very good advice.

This is only about the cheese.  Before you speak to L's mother, check the nutritional information on the cheese sticks.  In Australia, cheese sticks are made with real cheese - they have no, or very little, carbohydrate.

This is not to say that eating 10 cheese sticks is good for anybody, but they are not, in my experience, a carbohydrate.