Etiquette School is in session! > Complete Silence

"What a waste of an education"

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Moray:

--- Quote from: hobish on June 12, 2012, 06:08:41 PM ---
Did they pay for you to go to school? I think if i spent thousands upon thousands of dollars to help someone reach a goal and they told me they were planning on not using it at all, and even degrading it ... i'd be a little peeved ... and if it was my kid i would tell them so. Having a "precious one month old" on the arm is irrelevant, IMO. If they didn't, and you didn't discuss it with them is one thing; but if they did i am not sure what you were really expecting. That's got to hurt as a parent.

--- End quote ---

Thanks, hobish. I was trying to figure out what was rubbing me the wrong way, and this is it. OP, can you clarify? Did your parents finance your undergrad and/or law school? I mean, it's still yours to do what you want with if they did, but I can see where they'd be hurt if you threw it back in their face as somehow laughably inferior.

I'm not giving your parents the green light here, but it may be helpful to consider their perspective. They're probably just as offended as you are, and for equally valid reasons.

QueenfaninCA:

--- Quote from: Judah on June 12, 2012, 06:23:42 PM ---
--- Quote from: hobish on June 12, 2012, 06:08:41 PM ---
Did they pay for you to go to school? I think if i spent thousands upon thousands of dollars to help someone reach a goal and they told me they were planning on not using it at all, and even degrading it ... i'd be a little peeved ... and if it was my kid i would tell them so. Having a "precious one month old" on the arm is irrelevant, IMO. If they didn't, and you didn't discuss it with them is one thing; but if they did i am not sure what you were really expecting. That's got to hurt as a parent.

--- End quote ---

So educating her own children isn't a good enough use of her education?  Just simply getting an education for educations sake is a waste?  Who gets to decide what a good enough use of an education is?  I'm paying for both my children's educations, well, DH and I both.  It's our gift to our children. What they choose to do with that gift is up to them.

OP, silence was the best option.

--- End quote ---

I'm with hobish. The OP didn't just get an education, she went to law school, which last time I checked wasn't exactly cheap. If it had been her plan all the while to be a SAHM, she could have gotten a degree in something more applicable for a lot less money.

My parents paid for my physics diploma (equivalent to a masters degree). As I got it in Germany, the tuition was minimal, but they paid for five years of my upkeep. I would have been embarrassed if I had not done something that required that degree afterwards for at least some years.

dawbs:

--- Quote from: hobish on June 12, 2012, 06:08:41 PM ---
Did they pay for you to go to school? I think if i spent thousands upon thousands of dollars to help someone reach a goal and they told me they were planning on not using it at all, and even degrading it ... i'd be a little peeved ... and if it was my kid i would tell them so. Having a "precious one month old" on the arm is irrelevant, IMO. If they didn't, and you didn't discuss it with them is one thing; but if they did i am not sure what you were really expecting. That's got to hurt as a parent.

--- End quote ---
At some point though, this DOES become a 'the gift belongs to the recipient' issue.

Because holding someone, X years later, accountable for wanting to be a doctor when they were 18 is counterproductive to *everyone's* happiness.

And I don't see anything 'degrading' in what was said, did I miss something?

hobish:

--- Quote from: Judah on June 12, 2012, 06:23:42 PM ---
--- Quote from: hobish on June 12, 2012, 06:08:41 PM ---
Did they pay for you to go to school? I think if i spent thousands upon thousands of dollars to help someone reach a goal and they told me they were planning on not using it at all, and even degrading it ... i'd be a little peeved ... and if it was my kid i would tell them so. Having a "precious one month old" on the arm is irrelevant, IMO. If they didn't, and you didn't discuss it with them is one thing; but if they did i am not sure what you were really expecting. That's got to hurt as a parent.

--- End quote ---

So educating her own children isn't a good enough use of her education?  Just simply getting an education for educations sake is a waste?  Who gets to decide what a good enough use of an education is?  I'm paying for both my children's educations, well, DH and I both.  It's our gift to our children. What they choose to do with that gift is up to them.

OP, silence was the best option.

--- End quote ---

I think if you help pay for, or pay for a lot of someone's education as most parents do - and they tell you that they want to "be a mommy" you have a right to express an opinion, yes.

ETA: Degrading - I was sick of trying to solve problems for people not bright enough to realize that you shouldn't drive after downing a twelve-pack of beer in under thirty minutes. I am pretty sure there is more to law than that.

Judah:

--- Quote from: QueenfaninCA on June 12, 2012, 06:30:30 PM ---
--- Quote from: Judah on June 12, 2012, 06:23:42 PM ---
--- Quote from: hobish on June 12, 2012, 06:08:41 PM ---
Did they pay for you to go to school? I think if i spent thousands upon thousands of dollars to help someone reach a goal and they told me they were planning on not using it at all, and even degrading it ... i'd be a little peeved ... and if it was my kid i would tell them so. Having a "precious one month old" on the arm is irrelevant, IMO. If they didn't, and you didn't discuss it with them is one thing; but if they did i am not sure what you were really expecting. That's got to hurt as a parent.

--- End quote ---

So educating her own children isn't a good enough use of her education?  Just simply getting an education for educations sake is a waste?  Who gets to decide what a good enough use of an education is?  I'm paying for both my children's educations, well, DH and I both.  It's our gift to our children. What they choose to do with that gift is up to them.

OP, silence was the best option.

--- End quote ---

I'm with hobish. The OP didn't just get an education, she went to law school, which last time I checked wasn't exactly cheap. If it had been her plan all the while to be a SAHM, she could have gotten a degree in something more applicable for a lot less money.

My parents paid for my physics diploma (equivalent to a masters degree). As I got it in Germany, the tuition was minimal, but they paid for five years of my upkeep. I would have been embarrassed if I had not done something that required that degree afterwards for at least some years.

--- End quote ---

According the OP, she did use if for a time and decided it wasn't for her but, that's neither here nor there. If her parents were going to put strings on their gift they should have been upfront about it.  I can't accept that the OP should not make what she feels to be the best choice for her family to satisfy her dad.  He gave her a gift, it's up to her to decide what to do with that gift.

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