Eee, so many posts have popped up while I was just replying to one. Let me see if I can do the digest version:
- My parents contributed not one red cent to my education. What wasn't paid in scholarships was paid in loans. They sure liked to take credit for my successes, though! (Mostly because they gave me awesome genetics!!! Go them!)
- My father operated under the notion that he was meant for greatness, but in truth he was far too lazy to avail himself of the multiple opportunities to attend college (even for free). When his older daughter started proving herself modestly intelligent, he saw a chance to have his cake and eat it, too: fulfill his ambitions while not having to put himself out in any way.
- I was misled, coerced, and ultimately shamed into doing whatever HE found interesting. What I wanted to do with my life was completely irrelevant to him--and sometimes, apparently, downright immoral, considering the language he would use to describe any interest that didn't contribute to his fantasy of the Accomplished Daughter.
- I didn't have even a notion that I could or should escape that environment because I had no relationships outside of my immediate nuclear family for most of my life. I was actively discouraged from and sometimes sabotaged out of even forming friendships. That I ever got away is a function of my leaving home after my sister assaulted me and suffered no consequences.
- My relationship with my father will never improve, as he passed away three months ago--still bitter that I wouldn't let him tell me how to raise my kids, handle my marriage, or arrange my daily schedule. He didn't allow me to visit or even speak with him over the phone for the last month of his life because he had disowned me in a control-freak fit two years ago. (I may link the post from a couple of years ago where I described this situation.)
- I brought this up to him, back then, because I was still under the delusion that he gave a rat's whisker what I thought or felt. This incident went a long way toward convincing me that he didn't.
Did I miss any?