I'm writing in a need to receive either affirmation or a kick in the head. You decide.
My parents in law are divorced. They sometimes get on well, othertimes not so much. My mother in law doesn't understand boundaries, and gets very upset when we tell her she's broken them. Because of this, DH and I decided that when our child is born later this year, we don't want overnight guests for the first to weeks. I intend to breastfeed and we have no idea what the kid is going to be like. DH's family wind him up too, so this isn't coming from me. Unfortunately, all his family live a far way away and stay with us when they visit. DH has told them that they can visit in the day if they come in those two weeks, but no overnight guests.
Fil has taken umbrage to this. While stating he doesn't mind waiting, he says his ex wife will be upset by this, and after a week of continually bringing it up, ended by telling me publicly I was being 'over-controlling'. I got upset (I really don't do heart racing moments well), and told him that it wasn't happening, I was offended at the comment and it wasn't overcontrolling to want two weeks learning how to look after my new baby with my husband, I then sat quietly to not cry. Dh and I were both very shocked, and DH read him the riot act when I went to the bathroom. (The right thing to do for us, as he knows I might've blown up when I got over my upset if he did it in front of me and Fil justified himself)
My questions: a) Am I being unreasonable not wanting overnight guests for two weeks? My family are local, so they can visit for an hour easily, but I can also tell them to back off without drama. Mil will get upset if I tell her the same thing, and now I worry Fil won't be respecting our decisions either.
b) What on earth do I do in the future if he pulls this again? I really don't do confrontation well, and my heart was punding so loudly in my ears I could barely hear.
btw: my DH made me laugh later on when he pointed out the hypocrisy of him calling me overcontrolling because I wouldn't cave in. I love my DH.
Sorry if anythings unclear. My brain is mush after having this in there all morning going round and round.