A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Time For a Coffee Break!
Other adults speaking for you about what you'd be happy to do
weeblewobble:
Thursday's blog involved a MIL who told another relative that is would be "perfectly fine" to send her son and daughter-in-law away from the table at a family celebration in a restaurant because unexpected guests showed up and she wanted to make room.
http://www.etiquettehell.com/?p=3330
I was absolutely shocked that anyone would feel it was OK to speak for another adult that way. The closest thing I have ever experienced is MIL volunteering DH to help a relative move without asking him first. (DH would have volunteered had he heard about it first, so he didn't mind.) My mom also got in the habit of telling people I would be happy to read/edit their master's thesis, term papers, etc., until I pointed out how much of my time it was sucking away. (She never did it again.)
I was wondering if this was a common theme in other relationships? Do you all have stories?
deadbody:
I think all parents have done this in the past. Most reasonable parents stop when their adult kids explain that they no longer have the right to dictate their kids time.
s:
My parents used to tell everyone how good I am with computers and to contact me if people needed their computers fixed. That was slightly annoying in and of itself but then my sister reconnected with an old babysitter of ours who was an old family friend. She told her I knew computers since the babysitter mentioned she had just bought a new computer but didn't have a clue how to hook it up. Then my sister gave her my phone number without my permission! Being the nice spineless person I was back then I figured ok hooking up a computer is easy and that I'd do that and that'd be it.
Nope! She called me up all the time to fix her computer! And it was always an emergency ::) Because CRUD MONKEYS! she couldn't get onto facebook... ::) She kept claiming how poor she was barely giving me money for the gas it took to drive down to her house and not really paying for my time. I never let my sister hear the end of that and of course word got around to my parents. Now everyone knows not to offer services I don't want to give and not to give out my number without my permission! (even if it's an old family friend or even faaaamily)
kherbert05:
Doesn't happen in my family. If I call Sis or BIL to invite the kids to the zoo - the kids are asked if they want to go before the invitation is accepted. So doing that to an adult NO FREAKING WAY.
I had a coworker that was scandalized that I called my BIL or Cousins-in-law directly for help on a multiperson task instead of going through their wives. (Believe me my Cousins would have bopped me upside the head and handed the phone to their DH). My sis would have helped me with the task but she was out of town. (My sis and I are more tomboy cousins are more fufu I would have had to teach them to do the task instead of just getting it done.
jayhawk:
So, you've met my DH? More than once, I've been contacted by someone (usually at church), telling me that he said I'd be glad to do something or other. After a few "I'm afraid that won't be possibles" and a Come to Jesus Meeting with my husband, that doesn't happen anymore.
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