This is so frustrating. I think I've worked out a solution because people are being pretty accommodating, but I'm annoyed that I was put in the middle and had to negotiate this.
My dad is in town (they don't live nearby) and wants to spend father's day with me and my kids. My husband has been out of town working for a couple of weeks and wants to spend father's day with me and the kids. My dad and husband don't get along, and my husband doesn't like having his family taken over for father's day. He says eating dinner with them will make the holiday have nothing to do with him, and he'll be left out, and this will make him feel bad as he was away and has missed us and was looking forward to spending father's day with us.
So my plan is that I told my dad to plan a mid-day dinner (we often did this on Sundays and holidays growing up), and we will not stay with my parents for the evening meal. Both seem happy with this. But if push came to shove, who should win, your dad or your kids' dad?