Cute or Annoying? UPDATES pg 3,4

[mbbored]

On Friday, I had a first date with a guy I met online. He was really easy to talk to by email and phone, but I was a little disappointed to see he was heavier, older and had less hair than his pictures showed. But, he was very nice and I'm trying to be more open minded, so I agreed to a second date. Since that date, he's texted me every 12 hours with updates on what he's doing.

Saturday a.m.: Thanks for the date last night! Headed to the grocery store now: I see melons are on sale. Yum!

Saturday p.m.: Had a good afternoon. Got a hair cut, then cooked dinner on my grill. Now I'm looking for something good to watch on tv.

Sunday a.m.: Hope you slept well! This morning I'm going to water the lawn, then clean the house.

I admit I haven't responded to any of his texts. I was super busy on Saturday, and didn't check my phone until just before bed. Now, I'm getting annoyed out by his constant monologue. I admit I've been single for a while, am fiercely independent, and don't feel like I should be accountable for all my time to somebody I just met. However, when I mentioned it to a girlfriend who usually has good judgment in these things, she thought it was adorable and romantic. She also thinks I'm being too picky and should totally go on a second date with him.

What does eHell think? Would you be flattered or totally annoyed?

[Nikko-chan]

I'd be annoyed. You just met the guy in real life for crying out loud. He does not need to be texting so much.

[diesel_darlin]

I am with Nikko-chan. That would bug the ever living crud out of me. But I was also the fiercely independent type before DH. I wouldnt mind the text about the date the previous evening. But why does he feel the need to text you about getting a hair cut??? I do think the Sunday text was kind of cute. If he would have stopped at "hope you slept well"!

[Baxter]

I think that if you liked him more it would be cute but you don't really fancy him so its probably annoying.  I guess that's your clue as to whether to go on another date with him!

[Ceallach]

Um, even my DH doesn't keep in that type of contact with me!  Seriously!  We have a very close, loving relationship - but if we're not together for a few days we don't need running commentary on what the other is doing.   

It seems to me that this guy is quite lonely and possibly a little socially inept.   If he wants to strike up a conversation he should be asking YOU questions, e.g.  "Up to anything interesting today?"  not just giving a running commentary on the mundane details of his life.  Unless he's done something particularly interesting I'm not sure what he hopes to achieve from this.    I don't think it would be rude to give him a running commentary back to see what he says, if you're that way inclined: "That's nice.  I made a sandwich, walked the dog and watched a movie".  Then again, if that really is the type of communication he likes, he might find that fascinating....   I'm going to go with saying that this is a sign that you two probably aren't compatible.     Not saying there's anything *wrong* with what he's doing, but there's something not quite right about it also.

[Silversurfer]

I think it is kind of cute.
Maybe he is thinking "Hmmm, wonder what "mbbored  is up to? Maybe i will send her a message telling her what i am up to!"
I wouldnt not go on a second date just because of a few messages.

Maybe bring the messaging up on your second date.

[TurtleDove]

I think that if you liked him more it would be cute but you don't really fancy him so its probably annoying.  I guess that's your clue as to whether to go on another date with him!

This exactly. If identical texts were coming from someone who made your heart flutter, you would be over the moon. You are not attracted to the guy so you see his actions as annoying. It's not what he's doing but rather that it's HIM doing it. Neither of you is wrong, but I would tell him you don't feel it and move on.

[Phoebelion]

You didn't say when your next date is.  Maybe he wants to get together sooner?  This would annoy the heck out of me.

[NyaChan]

I also suspect social ineptness.  But I would find it annoying even in a guy that did make my heart flutter since I would be wondering, "Well don't you care about what I'm doing?" or "Wow, you must really think a lot of yourself if you think I'm sitting here with bated breath wondering when you plan on vacuuming."  Ok so that last one is snarky, but really, contacting someone this much after a first date without trying to make it a two-way interaction isn't a good dating technique.  I think this might be a serious sign of incompatibility - you don't want your first reaction when your BF contacts you to be set to annoyance.

[Winterlight]

I'd be irritated too. It sounds like he's treating his texts like some people use Facebook.

[Ereine]

I'd find it annoying because it's so impersonal, he could easily be sending the same message to other women as far as the content goes.

[TurtleDove]

I'd find it annoying because it's so impersonal, he could easily be sending the same message to other women as far as the content goes.

What would be the problem with that?  They had one date! 

[dawbs]

uncharitable read:

Text #1 was a double entandre that the OP ignored/didn't catch.
He feels like a clod and is now attempting to cover up the foot-in-mouth of text #1 by burying it in a wall of mundane stuff.

[ShadesOfGrey]

I'd find it a both slightly endearing and annoying. how's that for a non-answer? ;-p

Nothing in it sends up red flags for me though, so if you're trying to be more open-minded, I'd still go on a second date with him. This is something that's easily addressable, or, for a potential long term relationship, perhaps even something that's livable/over-lookable. Everyone has annoying qualities - even those that make our hearts flutter.  It doesnt seem to me that you know enough about him to know if it's worth it or not, so in my mind, why not try and find out?

[TheVapors]

I think that I'd find it more annoying, because it's not really a conversation. It's just an unasked for update on the minutiae of his life.

One text... fine. It would land in the "cute" pile of my brain.

Depending on how well the date and I got along, more texts might continue to be cute. Especially if they'd attempted to ask questions instead of just posting info about him.

As you describe it, you aren't necessarily very into him, and his texts don't so much include you as they are texted at you.