Thanks for your replies.
rashea, yes, he wasn't there. He arrived several hours later & I asked him later.
Shoo, your comment is very 'right on.' That is what I decided to do a while back.
Especially since the last time I saw her when she said in front of the whole family including Bob, the third of four children she and her husband constantly adore and nurture, so you will be shocked when you read this.
It was something I knew about decades ago but I was told it should not be spoken of for obvious reasons...and here she was "spilling the beans" to the wrong person, her son. At the dinner table...
SIL: Your father only wanted 2 children. It was because of me talking him into it that you and Susie were born.
Bob: (turning red) Gee thanks, Mom, I'm glad I was born. (He handled it well with grace, I think. He is 22)
It freaked me out how rude this was!! My guess is that it was a dig at her husband. It really solidified making me want to avoid conversing with her. Telling her son that is rude, abusive and ten other adjectives I won't bother to say.