Author Topic: Cute or Annoying? UPDATES pg 3,4  (Read 15452 times)

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Reason

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Re: Cute or Annoying? UPDATE pg 3
« Reply #60 on: June 25, 2012, 01:01:30 PM »
It's a shame that he probably won't learn from this experience because he will not know what he did wrong. Of course you are certainly not required to tell him. It would be difficult to do so without coming off as preachy anyhow. I think you handled it well.

Reason, as a guy, let me ask you this: if you were in TextGuy's shoes, would you appreciate a kindly-worded heads up, something along the lines of "you seem like a nice guy, so if you want, I can tell you what put me off about you, and maybe it'll help you next time you meet someone."

Of course, the woman in the situation would have to be very, very clear that she's not saying "fix this and I'll date you." If that *could* be made clear, would it be a helpful or a rude thing to tell him why his approach isn't working?

Guys are all different, so it's much safer not to offer input especially after just one date :)

Personally I would appreciate input on what went wrong, but that wouldn't mean to me that the next girl would not like the same thing. I would never ask for input on what went wrong though. For example I was once told that things aren't going to work out because I opened the door for a girl I was dating. Apparently that makes me a male chauvinist. I appreciated knowing how she felt and this case she was certainly right, things were not going to work out, but I still open doors for people.

Even for the guy in the OP, he may very well find some girl that finds constant twitter like updates of his day to day activities and his apparent neediness endearing. Doubtful, but possible. However if it's something obvious like "I don't think this is going to work out because you chew with your mouth open and talk at the same time" then I see no reason not to let the guy know.

Mikayla

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Re: Cute or Annoying? UPDATE pg 3
« Reply #61 on: July 01, 2012, 04:16:28 PM »
I know a lot of posters are saying it would be cute if you liked him but I disagree.  If I just started dating someone I thought I really liked and they did this I would take a big step back.  I guess I may be too independent and smother easily.  :D


I see OP declined a second date, so it's moot, but I completely agree with this.  There's something about texting (which I love, by the way, when used correctly) that gets you into someone's head cheaply, for lack of a better word.  And even if I liked a guy, I would not like the assumption he's making that I want him there.  And then I'm put into the awkward position of addressing it.

It can all be avoided if he simply asks what my texting preferences are, or even if I'm on a limited plan. 

If it's something he wouldn't call me up and tell me, why is it ok for him to text it?

mbbored

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Re: Cute or Annoying? UPDATE pg 3
« Reply #62 on: July 01, 2012, 07:11:19 PM »
I know a lot of posters are saying it would be cute if you liked him but I disagree.  If I just started dating someone I thought I really liked and they did this I would take a big step back.  I guess I may be too independent and smother easily.  :D


I see OP declined a second date, so it's moot, but I completely agree with this.  There's something about texting (which I love, by the way, when used correctly) that gets you into someone's head cheaply, for lack of a better word.  And even if I liked a guy, I would not like the assumption he's making that I want him there.  And then I'm put into the awkward position of addressing it.

It can all be avoided if he simply asks what my texting preferences are, or even if I'm on a limited plan. 

If it's something he wouldn't call me up and tell me, why is it ok for him to text it?

Come to think of it, I did mention that I was on a limited texting plan.

Oh well, hindsight is always 20/20.