Before I get into the update, I want to say thank you from me
to everyone for your replies. I appreciate the thoughts and advice.
Down to business. I spoke with Jane. We had a good talk about the whole situation in much detail from beginning to end, and went over her options. She had a good laugh about the many suggestions of ice cream comfort
And enjoyed hearing WillyNilly's list of "to do's".
After our chat, she took a couple of days to roll things around in her mind. She came to a few conclusions, and made a couple of decisions over the weekend.
Firstly, moving on and far, far away from John after this stunt was an inevitability. She woke up that morning after her birthday a couple weeks ago, and it just kinda clicked. She knew it was over. She agrees with absolutely everyone
here! No more John. Good bye and good riddance. She especially acknowledges and agrees that if John did care, he would have found a way to contact her. No questions. No excuses. Someone who supposedly loves you that much would've resorted to skywriting or carrier pigeon. Added to that, she knows she is so much better than needing to put up with someone who wouldn't find comfort in her during an emotionally trying time.
Here's what she did over the weekend. (Parts of which I was a witness to, the others were relayed to me through her.) She and I hung out for a bit of time, had some junk food, watched our favorite episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer (that is... anything Oz or Spike heavy, and twice for "Once More With Feeling").
When she had some time to herself she sat down and wrote out a letter to John. She wrote out every single detail of everything she thought, and felt. She wrote what she wished for him (some of it was very pleasant, a lot of it was graphically not...). After writing it all out, she realized she didn't want him to see it. She imagined herself a year from now, and knew that she'd look back on this moment and regret sending him anything more of herself. Then, she folded the letter up took it outside and got angry all over it. She stomped on it. She screamed at it. She tore it into little bits. Then, she lit it on fire and stomped on the ashes.
She says she's still melancholy for now, and there might still be more tears (and plenty more anger), but she actually feels somewhat relieved
. Just making the decision, and figuring out to start letting go. She was waiting and worrying for so long, that once she decided to move away from the situation she suddenly realized how much she was carrying it around with her. In time, the little things will stop reminding her of John. She's eager to have that time come; she can't wait to forget about him. So, there's a light at the end of the tunnel (and she says it doesn't sound like a train
TL;DR - Jane will be OK. Not just OK. She'll be awesome given a little time.
She sent me to deeply thank everyone on her behalf. She feels that much more supported in her decision to get off her bum and get on with the better things in life.