I must attract unparented children

[still in va]

So, I tossed my blanket on the ground and was laying there reading an e-book and eating from a bag a cherries. A lil girl (came to discover she was 5 but would have guessed her a bit younger) just plopped down beside me and asked what I was eating. She wanted to try a cherry and I told her we had to ask her mom first so she yells "Mom can I have a cherry?" She asked what else I had and I let her try some fresh blackberries son & gf had picked for me that day. She hated that too. On it went with watermelon and canteloupe and back to cherries until she finally informed she only liked strawberries and wanted to know where they were.

Why were you feeding this child in the first place, it only encourages the other behavior.  Whenever a child I don't know appraoches me and makes any demoands I tell them "No.  Go back to your mother now."  from the get go.

By giving into the child's demands you set a precedence.

and now i'm remembering the saying, "Go tell your mother she wants you."  W.C. Fields, perhaps?

[Piratelvr1121]

Or "If you give a child a cherry"

[Roe]

My youngest attracts many random children and I've gotten so used to say "sorry sweetie, but you need to go back to your mother."

I don't want to scare the child so I smile.  But I am firm.  It works every time.  No drama or fuss.  Just plain and in simple words a child can understand. 

[gmatoy]

I once told a misbehaving child to go home. She told me, "NO!" I took her by the hand and led her to the door. Opened the door and asked told her to leave and to go home. She went outside and sat on the porch. I told her to get off my porch and  go home. She went down to the street and sat on the curb, next to the mailbox. I walked down to the street, walked past her to her house. I told her mother that her child was not allowed to return to my house ever. She protested and,as part of her protest, told me that I was the only one who let her come over "all the time."

My response? "Well, now I've joined all the other parents who won't be disrespected in their own homes."

[Piratelvr1121]

We had one of those in our old neighborhood.  He was a couple years younger than my boys and the baby of his family, and apparently spoiled to death as a result.  My boys didn't really like playing with him because he'd whine and cry if he didn't get his way.  And he'd knock on the door about every 5 minutes.   "Are the boys done their homework yet?"  I'd tell him "No, you'll know they're done because they'll be outside playing."

Five minutes later. "Are the boys done their homework yet?" Ugh!

One day he had been especially naughty, helping himself to snacks, getting the boys in trouble by spilling and saying it was them who did it. (I caught him in his lie by saying one did it, then the other, and how it happened kept changing.) He had his coat on and was standing in the living room.  I told him he needed to go home and he said "I can't find something!" Mind you he wasn't even looking for it, but just standing in the middle of the room.  I asked him what it was and he said "None of your business!!"

I told him "M, I do not let my children speak to me that way, nor will I allow you to speak to me that way. You need to go home, and if we find something that does not belong to my boys, we will bring it by to see if it's yours."  He finally left. I do not miss that kid.

[BeagleMommy]

There must be one of these kids in every neighborhood.  The people who used to live across the street from me let their kids run wild.  One neighbor came downstairs early one morning to find the 6 year old boy sitting at her kitchen table asking for cereal.  Believe it or not,  she fed him.

One afternoon I was baking cookies for a family event.  I had run out of flour and sent DS to the neighbor directly next to us to borrow some (great family).  DS comes home with the flour and five minutes later there's a knock on the door.  Standing there is Wandering 6 Year Old.  I ask what he wanted (because DS was not allowed to play with him since he wandered) and he said "Me and my sister want home made cookies".  I said "Well, you better ask your mom to make some for you" and closed the door.  Yes, I'm the mean lady in the neighborhood.

[Piratelvr1121]

Not so much anymore, because either I grew a backbone or the boys found friends who's parents actually parent, but we used to have kids who would stay as long as they could to get invited to dinner. 

[weeblewobble]

There must be one of these kids in every neighborhood.  The people who used to live across the street from me let their kids run wild.  One neighbor came downstairs early one morning to find the 6 year old boy sitting at her kitchen table asking for cereal.  Believe it or not,  she fed him.

Oh my gosh, that happened in my neighborhood!  Only instead of demanding cereal, the dad, Mr. D heard a noise downstairs around 5:30am, he went downstairs to investigate and found a neighbor kid, Todd, playing with the Ds' new video game system.   (Todd had never been interested in playing with Mr. D's kids before.  But the minute he heard they had new video games, he just figured he should be able to come over and play when ever he wanted.)

ETA:Todd's mom didn't understand why Mr. D was upset.  She thought Mr. D was mean for keeping Todd away from the game.

[djinnidjream]

I would have taken the girl back to her mother.... after stopping at the concession stand and loading her up with extra sugary snacks and a highly caffienated soda.

Just kidding...really I am.

[Otterpop]

When my kids were little I would supervise them playing in our cul de sac.  Other kids would join in but often they played too rough, broke our toys, ran up on other people's property.  I was constantly scolding someone, other than my own.  I asked if a few other mothers would like to set an hour playtime every evening where we would sit in lawn chairs on my grass, chat and watch the kids.  All agreed.

It worked for 2 days.  After that, all the kids came out to play over and over without their mothers.  I was again supervising about 9 kids by myself.  People would drive by and ask if I was baby sitting again.  About the 5th day I kept my girls inside.  Kids came to the door to ask if we'd be out.  "Not today" I said.  We changed our play times after that and walked down to the park.  The neighborhood kids then knocked on my door and said their mother told them I could take them to the park.    I said "Not unless your mother comes along, I can't handle all these kids."  One older boy got embarrassed and herded his brothers and sisters back home.  It was the last time I was bothered.

[TheVapors]

When I was a kid, ours was the house that allllll the kids in the neighborhood ended up at. (Not necessarily inside of, more like in the yard or by the street in front of.) It seemed that just about every house on the block had the "unparented" child. Many of them staying for a year, and moving frequently.

There was one kid who didn't have the greatest homelife. Sweetest little boy named Brian. He had an obnoxious cousin named Tony. To this day I occasionally think of Brian and hope that he got out and away from the nastiness.

ANYWAY...back from that trip down memory lane. OP, well done. I thought you were kind to the girl who probably needs a bit of kindness, and completely correct in the manner in which you returned her to her mother. Well done, indeed!

[Piratelvr1121]

The girl who used to live a street up used to go to a different school than my boys when we first met her.  Her mother didn't want to send her to the elementary school we were districted for because a bus wouldn't come to pick her up due to us being too close, so she used her brother's address to send her to school in a neighboring town.  She'd get home before the boys did and would insist on coming over, saying "Mom said I should keep you company".  Some days I would go out to run errands before they got home and as soon as I'd pull up, down she'd come. I bet either she or her mom watched out for our van.

[Reason]

That was an extraordinary example of self restraint. Well done!

[desireesgranny]

There must be one of these kids in every neighborhood.  The people who used to live across the street from me let their kids run wild.  One neighbor came downstairs early one morning to find the 6 year old boy sitting at her kitchen table asking for cereal.  Believe it or not,  she fed him.

Oh my gosh, that happened in my neighborhood!  Only instead of demanding cereal, the dad, Mr. D heard a noise downstairs around 5:30am, he went downstairs to investigate and found a neighbor kid, Todd, playing with the Ds' new video game system.   (Todd had never been interested in playing with Mr. D's kids before.  But the minute he heard they had new video games, he just figured he should be able to come over and play when ever he wanted.)

ETA:Todd's mom didn't understand why Mr. D was upset.  She thought Mr. D was mean for keeping Todd away from the game.

I'm not understanding something. How could children get inside your house while you are asleep? Were the doors kept unlocked or did the children break in? 

[JustRhon]

There must be one of these kids in every neighborhood.  The people who used to live across the street from me let their kids run wild.  One neighbor came downstairs early one morning to find the 6 year old boy sitting at her kitchen table asking for cereal.  Believe it or not,  she fed him.

Oh my gosh, that happened in my neighborhood!  Only instead of demanding cereal, the dad, Mr. D heard a noise downstairs around 5:30am, he went downstairs to investigate and found a neighbor kid, Todd, playing with the Ds' new video game system.   (Todd had never been interested in playing with Mr. D's kids before.  But the minute he heard they had new video games, he just figured he should be able to come over and play when ever he wanted.)

ETA:Todd's mom didn't understand why Mr. D was upset.  She thought Mr. D was mean for keeping Todd away from the game.

Wow, that just blows my mind. We used to have trouble with a neighbor kid climbing the fence to get in our pool at all hours of the day but luckily they are gone now. The only kids in our neighborhood now are the grandchildren of the couple across the street and they have their pool plus they are great now. My son has gotten close to them lately and they are always inviting him over to play or swim instead of coming here all the time so I really like them.

My son has a game tonight and I'm hoping Kee and her mom aren't there because I'm packing my fruit again with strawberries actually included this time, lol.