General Etiquette > Life...in general

Drawing the line in a classmate friendship? (Update OP Page 2)

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poundcake:
Since he's bothering everyone else in the class, it may be time for a group come-to-Jesus intervention. Maybe even with the instructor's help. Together, you can establish and reinforce boundaries. "John, please do not call classmembers or share personal/medical information. It is disruptive and making it difficult for the rest of us to get the most out of this class." If he's lonely, there are plenty of social resources for seniors, and perhaps you can point him to the local Community Center. But after that, ignore, ignore, ignore, ignore.

LadyL:
Could the instructor do a special lecture on business ethics and professionalism as soon as he returns to class? >:D

Otherwise, POD Sleepykitty. Spell out, explicitly, when you are willing and able to talk to him and then enforce it.

Itza:
I think the baby is your perfect 'out' in this friendship.

You can be too tired even if you aren't at that moment. You'll have appointments to see to and later when baby is here, you'll be too wrapped up in baby and too tired to think of anything else.

Syrse:

--- Quote from: secretrebel on June 26, 2012, 12:37:08 PM ---
But otherwise I think he's just a lonely old guy with ambitions that outstrip his abilities and who's having a hard time accepting that.

--- End quote ---

Couldn't have put it better, that's exactly how it feels, thanks for molding that into words.
And I do feel for him, because he's led a really full life and doesn't want to give it up.

About not going into business; totally agreed. I saw myself maybe filling in for a day or two if he needed it, but now I don't know about even that.
For now, I'm not going to say anything else about the business: for one, he's on rest, and after that he has tons of work before the business can even start. Might be he never goes through with it. If he does, I'll deal with it then. I never made any solid commitments, I always pointed to the baby, and how unpredictable my life is at this point, and that we'll see how things pan out.
Fair enough, I was enthusiastic about the possibility of filling in here and there, but I am definitely not inclined to become his replacement. That one might cause some headbutting... especially if student x isn't as interested as he seems to think (she has her own practice, and is trying to go fully independent).

As for the class: we only have two more days to go, as it's more of a follow up, we already had our finals. We are now going over certain particular problems and how to solve them.
So I don't think an intervention is needed. I do worry about him following his doctors orders, but aside from making sure he only sits and writes, I'm not sure what else we can do?

It just feels like sticky and egoistical timing on my part on one side, and 'I really don't need this at this point' on the other... using baby as an excuse feels like the easy way out  :(

He didn't call me back all day though. Here's hoping he didn't call student x  ::)

BeagleMommy:
This man sounds like he may be facing his own mortality and fighting with all his might to avoid it.  You mention he doesn't have much contact with his son and his bemoaning the fact that he has no grandchildren.  He is planning to latch onto you and your baby to consider you "his".  You may have to use some tough love with him (and in the process, probably, hurt his feelings).

John, I am not comfortable with the type of relationship you want with me.  I will not be able to assist you in your business and I do not want you coming to the hospital.  You cannot call me.  I will see you only in the classroom.

Let the other students deal with him as they see fit.

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